Sunday, July 3, 2022

Fresh Hell

At the dental office on Thursday, I saw no signs of guilt coming from the receptionist I suspected of hacking my credit card. Maybe because time has passed and she forgot, maybe because she’s hacked so many customer cards that she can’t remember who, and maybe because she’s not guilty.

Who knows, but I did pay cash for the cleaning and will henceforth pay by cash or check to err on the safe side.

Stopping by the market after Friday’s workout, I picked up carrots to make carrot dogs for the 4th.

There must be a plethora of folks in the area with gut issues, because this market carries a complete line of gluten-free products.

Word to the wise …. Not everything labeled "gluten free" is actually 100% gluten free. It pays to read labels, as there's always a triggering ingredient, but sometimes the ingredient is so minimal as to be worth the risk.

At any rate, heading for the gluten-free hot dog buns, which buns are still problematic but worth it to get the taste and feel of a real hot dog, I found they were sold out.

Not wanting to drive out of the area, search other markets, I found a recipe for buns which I’m trying out today.

So far, I'm on my third try at a batter that "clumps" like the recipe says.

If this third batter doesn't work out, then I'm done and will settle for oven baked chicken and potato salad tomorrow.

Heading out to do laundry on Saturday, I paused at the door when I saw a big green iridescent bug hoovering in the open area around the stairs.

What fresh hell is this, thought I to myself as I waited by the door for it to fly away. However, instead of flying away it began flying towards me — probably attracted by my perfume.

I didn’t panic or scream this time. I was calm as I quickly assessed what I had in my hands to defend myself — a laundry basket full of clothes and Shout laundry stain remover.

So, I tried to spray it away with the Shout but, much like that lizard I tried to spray off the patio with water, the bug seemed to enjoy the spray and kept flying towards me, at which point I got mad, and I got serious.

Fortunately, I’d not yet locked the door, so I retreated back inside and grabbed the bug spray. Ordinarily, I don’t bother lizards, bugs, ants outside — outside is their world but, when they come after me, won’t leave me alone, then it’s war. So, stepping outside once again trying to make it to the Laundry Room, locked and loaded with bug spray in hand, I was prepared to do some serious harm; but the flying bug had, fortunately for it, disappeared.

Not to be caught unawares, I held onto the bug spray while going back/forth doing laundry that day.

So, it’s not enough I have to watch for lizards on the stairs, now I have to carry bug spray around to ward off flying bugs — which I’ve research iridescent flying bugs and determined was a June Bug.

On one of my trips to the Laundry Room, I happened to see Karen’s Dream Lover picking up mail.

Lucky for him Karen wasn’t outside, doing her usual picking stuff off the ground. Too bad for her that she wasn’t — missed an opportunity to chase him down.


So that’s my holiday weekend so far — fresh hell, hot dog buns, Dream Lover but no Karen.

13 comments:

  1. NO KAREN is a holiday worth celebrating. Have you tried that bug spray on Karen? Have a Happy 4th....bug free and Karen(s) free!
    Paranormal John

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy 4th to you too John and not a bad idea if Karen messes with me while I have that spray in my hand.

      Delete
  2. Maybe Dream Lover will want to borrow your bug spray to ward off Karen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think he wants her to get close enough to spray, LOL.

      Delete
  3. So now you need a belt that holds two guns: one for your mace and another for your bug spray. Gosh, you're easily spooked by bugs. Your flashy, probably greenish bug is a Japanese beetle. They love to eat plants like hibiscus, Rose of Sharon bushes. Around here, people buy bug catchers in an attempt to save their garden plants. My son had 3 in his back area of his yard and dumped caught bugs by the half-gallon full twice a week. They won't hurt humans.
    In Oklahoma, I grew up with June bugs. They're brown beetles that fly around with a buzz and land everywhere, including swimming pools. You just scoop them out of the pool with your hand. They say "thank you" and buzz off in another direction. You can play with them and let them climb on you or your clothes. They have tiny little barbs on their legs, but don't bite or harm humans. Try to be friends with your buzzy bugs. You might need to visit your local Chippendale's male strip joint sometime. Dream Lover looks a tad like Twinkies were in his dreams. Comparative perception I guess. Linda in Kansas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phone to capture as many moments as possible, taser and pepper spray to stay safe from 2-legged creatures, now but spray for insects, so much in my hands that I do need a tool belt. Dream Lover does seem a little soft but, evidently, that's Karen's speed and, around here, stacked up against the other offerings, he's a hunka hunka burning love. LOL.

      Delete
  4. Perhaps it was the Shout that attracted the little fellow?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure it was my perfume, but he didn't seem to mind the mist.

      Delete
  5. No signs of guilt from the receptionist could be a testament to her skills of deception. And Shout does not work as June bug repellant? Good to know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe if I'd swung at and hit the bug with the Shout bottle, rather than sprayed :-)

      Delete
  6. You amaze me, only you would attempt to make their own g.f. hot dog buns from scratch. Can't wait to find out how they turned out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Success! I may actually end up a decent GF cook by the end of this journey.

      Delete
  7. Not sure a spray of anything could spray-kill a june bug. Yep, a thunk on the middle of a june bug would crush it. Some dogs like to play with them, but most prefer cicadas to play with cuz they buzz louder. Try just flicking the june bug away with the back of your hand. Linda in Kansas

    ReplyDelete