Fresh Hell

At the dental office on Thursday, I saw no signs of guilt coming from the receptionist I suspected of hacking my credit card. Maybe because time has passed and she forgot, maybe because she’s hacked so many customer cards that she can’t remember who, and maybe because she’s not guilty.

Who knows, but I did pay cash for the cleaning and will henceforth pay by cash or check to err on the safe side.

Stopping by the market after Friday’s workout, I picked up carrots to make carrot dogs for the 4th.

There must be a plethora of folks in the area with gut issues, because this market carries a complete line of gluten-free products.

Word to the wise …. Not everything labeled "gluten free" is actually 100% gluten free. It pays to read labels, as there's always a triggering ingredient, but sometimes the ingredient is so minimal as to be worth the risk.

At any rate, heading for the gluten-free hot dog buns, which buns are still problematic but worth it to get the taste and feel of a real hot dog, I found they were sold out.

Not wanting to drive out of the area, search other markets, I found a recipe for buns which I’m trying out today.

So far, I'm on my third try at a batter that "clumps" like the recipe says.

If this third batter doesn't work out, then I'm done and will settle for oven baked chicken and potato salad tomorrow.

Heading out to do laundry on Saturday, I paused at the door when I saw a big green iridescent bug hoovering in the open area around the stairs.

What fresh hell is this, thought I to myself as I waited by the door for it to fly away. However, instead of flying away it began flying towards me — probably attracted by my perfume.

I didn’t panic or scream this time. I was calm as I quickly assessed what I had in my hands to defend myself — a laundry basket full of clothes and Shout laundry stain remover.

So, I tried to spray it away with the Shout but, much like that lizard I tried to spray off the patio with water, the bug seemed to enjoy the spray and kept flying towards me, at which point I got mad, and I got serious.

Fortunately, I’d not yet locked the door, so I retreated back inside and grabbed the bug spray. Ordinarily, I don’t bother lizards, bugs, ants outside — outside is their world but, when they come after me, won’t leave me alone, then it’s war. So, stepping outside once again trying to make it to the Laundry Room, locked and loaded with bug spray in hand, I was prepared to do some serious harm; but the flying bug had, fortunately for it, disappeared.

Not to be caught unawares, I held onto the bug spray while going back/forth doing laundry that day.

So, it’s not enough I have to watch for lizards on the stairs, now I have to carry bug spray around to ward off flying bugs — which I’ve research iridescent flying bugs and determined was a June Bug.

On one of my trips to the Laundry Room, I happened to see Karen’s Dream Lover picking up mail.

Lucky for him Karen wasn’t outside, doing her usual picking stuff off the ground. Too bad for her that she wasn’t — missed an opportunity to chase him down.

So that’s my holiday weekend so far — fresh hell, hot dog buns, Dream Lover but no Karen.