New Player on the Field

There was no medal or swag bag involved in the Hawlin Hawley 5K. What I received was an e-ticket to the 5K, the pleasure of knowing I’d participated in sticking it to Hawley, and added/survived an additional 6,000 or so steps to my resume.

Looks like the sticking’s are nowhere near coming to an end. Tee shirts are popping up all over the internet.

Then there’s this …

We have a new player on the field here at the complex — the guy I first met at the July 4th BBQ that the seniors threw for themselves.

He was a late comer, as was I, so he ended up sitting at the table where I was seated and began telling me he moved in six months ago, has experience as a personal trainer, was raised in Israel —"Just down the road from where Jesus is buried" said he, now leads a bible group in the Community Room on Thursdays, invited me to attend.

No thanks was my thought about joining in on his bible group. Not that I don’t believe in the religion of the bible, it’s just that I find people involved in those groups boring, judgmental, hypocritical — too attached to the letter of what’s in the bible, lacking in understanding as to the spirit of it.

So anyway, he ended up at my table at yesterday’s Summer Social and, by the end of the luncheon, had gotten on my last nerve.

He’s the kind of guy that never shuts up, has something to say about EVERYTHING.

Let’s call him Bible Thumper because everything he has to say somehow ends up with "Trust in the Lord" and an invitation to attend his bible group.

Even when not talking specifically to him, talking to someone else, he’d jump into my conversation with "You should do this, you should do that, yada yada yada trust in the Lord".

Listening to his pontificating and having something to say about every single thing is exhausting.

A few examples ….

At the BBQ, another woman and I were reminiscing about when we had a little water exercise group going in the pool.

He jumped in, said he’d been a trainer and was thinking of starting a water exercise group.

I now doubt he was ever a trainer and, if he starts a water aerobics group — which was probably just more yada yada to make himself relevant, I won’t be participating.

At yesterday’s Summer Social, I was discussing with another resident that, because I live upstairs, heat rises, my unit is always hot.

"You should keep your windows open. I leave mine open all night".

Well good for him. Maybe someone will do us all a favor, breaks in and bash him in the head with a baseball bat.

I said leaving windows open at night is not a smart thing for a woman to do.

He said, "Why not. No one is going to climb to the second floor".

"I’ve had someone try to break in my upstairs apartment twice in my life."

"If they use a ladder, all you have to do is push the ladder over".

He thinks he’s cute.

He’s not.

"I’ll be asleep in the back bedroom, wake up to some guy attacking me."

"I’ll teach you self-defense".

I gave up, let him have the last word because he was getting on my nerves, and the conversation ended with his saying something about God keeping me safe.

He was right about that. Somebody up there has been looking out for me, because so much in life has tried to harm me, kill me, break my spirit, and I’m still here.

The first time some guy tried to get into my then upstairs apartment, through a sliding glass window, I’d put a stick in the window to keep it from being opened at night. He was jiggling the window, trying to get the stick to fall out. Fortunately, I’d fallen asleep on the couch by the window, instead of being in the back bedroom. I heard the jiggle noise, yelled and whoever it was fled.

The second time it happened, a neighbor saw some guy hanging onto the stair rails, trying to access a side window. He yelled and the guy fled.

So don’t tell me people don’t climb to second floors.

Someone at the table asked me about the charm on my necklace that says, "Try God".

He looked over at it said, “Well, you can’t just try”.

My inner Anne Marie rose up. Inside I could hear it saying, "Jesus F’ing Christ! This guy is sooooo annoying".

When there was a discussion about our facebook group, he chimed in that he had to delete all his social media accounts because, "I’ve got enemies. Many enemies that were sending me hate".

I don’t doubt that for one moment, as he was rapidly turning me into an unfriendly.

Casino Lady arrived late for the party, sought me out to give me an update on a young man we observed jumping the wall one day, looking under cars before she and her sister chased him off.

Looking for catalytic convers to steal we’d assumed.

She was telling me how he’d come back at 5:00 in the morning, broken into one of the cars, causing the alarm to go off.

Hearing the alarm, she gotten out of bed, run to the window, yelled to him that she’s calling the police (she did), whereupon he ran and jumped back over the wall, out of the complex.

Before I knew what was happening, Bible Thumper interrupted and took over the conversation. Something about, "You should set up cameras. My neighbor has cameras all over the place" … yada yada yada. He then transitioned into talking about God, trusting in the Lord, invited Casino Lady to his bible group, got into what is discussed in his bible group where upon I couldn’t take it any longer, blurted out, "Save it for Thursday" (the day he supposedly has a bible group) and took my conversation back, asking Casino Lady what the kid had taken.

She said the kid didn’t have time to take the car, just grabbed what he could when she yelled, which later was determined to be a bag of coins and escaped back over the wall.

Bible Thumper didn’t appear nonplussed by what I’d said. Was quiet just long enough for me to finish my conversation and, when I got up to leave shortly after, saying goodby that "I’ve got to check mail", he retorted "Why mail? Why not female?"

What the hell!? Just another episode of having something to say about every word I say.

No disrespect to my LGBTQ readers, but having had enough of him I said, "I don’t swing that way", whereupon the entire table laughed at him. Someone said, "Good answer" and, as I began to walk away, I heard the sound of laughter behind me, turned and saw a sheepish look on his face as his head fell a little.

I think the laughter was applause as everyone at the table had probably had enough of him.