Before I close the book on the old journal and move on to present day, I just have to share a few things, not so funny at the time, but which I now find hilarious, starting with what Jane — the Lead Attorney, did after I turned down a promotion.
Jane’s secretary Elva was retiring. The position was that of a Lead Secretary, a rare position in the agency, sought by many company-wide, with a huge bump in salary. Jane fully expected a feeding frenzy with us girls falling all over ourselves to compete for the position, especially since the company was cutting back, laying off positions.
Jane was embarrassed when Stephanie, from another branch of the organization, was the only person to apply for the position. Even secretaries in the path of being laid off, did not apply. No one wanted to work for her.
Jane was not only embarrassed, but PISSED. Especially at me because she’d made overtures that she wanted me in the position.
I was way ahead of Jane by then, had awakened, knew what games the witches were playing at, why they played them, and how they played them. Jane would have given me the position, but wanted to see me humbled, begging for it and then grateful.
Jane’s mistake was not realizing not everyone, including myself, is motivated by money or prestige.
I certainly could have used the money, but no thanks — I passed on the promotion.
Jane even had her retiring secretary speak with me. Elva came to my desk one day and asked, “Are you sure you don’t want the job?” No question, I wouldn’t have touched working directly with Jane with a 50-foot pole, so Stephanie (the only applicant) got the job and Jane retaliated by going on a campaign to punish me for not playing along — a campaign that included finding fault with everything I did thereafter, fabricating, lying, and coming down hard on my attorneys to also find fault with me ... or else.
A group of us girls had decided to surprise Elva with a retirement party in Las Vegas.
Jane was perpetually angry all the time now, plus we knew Jane would be jealous, so we didn’t say anything about the trip. However, Jane happened to come around the corner when I surprised Elva with our plans in letter form and, when I walked away from Elva, Jane DEMANDED to see what I had given Elva.
Elva said she didn’t want to show Jane, that she told Jane it was personal, but Jane just said, “Yes, but what is it!”
Jane badgered Elva until Elva got scared and let Jane see what I had given her. It was a personal letter notifying Elva we were taking her to Vegas and detailing the departure date, method of travel, hotel, etc.
Jane had no right to do that in the first place, but then Jane added insult to the injury of reading the personal letter by getting pissed off about our plans — just as we knew she would.
Now further pissed off, the campaign of harassment intensified and carried over into March of 1993 when, since nothing she and the others, at her behest, had said or done in the interim had the desired effect they were looking for, I received my performance evaluation.
Jane scheduled a meeting for the following day, but wanted me to read it the afternoon before, to be ready to discuss the evaluation — which specified I was barely adequate, with a zinger that I was “hostile to attorneys”.
In the journal, I wrote “I really had no problem with the evaluation because I know these people and the games they play. I’d expected something and had predetermined not to let it depress me, interfere with my work and/or mess with my head. So I signed it and returned it saying ‘no need to meet. I have no problem with it’.”
I thought the game was over but, the next day, Donna walked past my desk and asked what time is our meeting. I told Donna there wasn’t going to be a meeting, that I had no problem with the appraisal and that ‘I just wasn’t going to play this game.’ Donna started laughing so hard that she almost fell down in the middle of the floor. A few minutes later, Jane comes over to my desk and insists I meet with them to ‘discuss’. Jane refuses to take no for an answer so I go into her office.
"It was Jane, Joyce, Donna, and the conversation started off with Jane saying that the rating, which included the statement that I was ‘hostile to attorneys’ though signed by her was Joyce. I just kind of smiled, turned to Joyce and said, ‘I knew that’.”
In this meeting, "Joyce got a little more self-righteous, imperious and indignant than usual and went straight for the jugular. After Jane said ‘hostile to attorneys’ came from Joyce, Joyce got all huffy puffy and started bouncing around in her seat as she pronounced ‘Yes! And you’re rude and extremely arrogant, and I for one intend to say so from now on! I’m going to tell you you’re being rude!’ "
"If this was intended to draw blood, they were sadly disappointed. My reaction was I started laughing my butt off. It was so predictable, so ludicrous and for Joyce of all people in the world to tell anyone that they are rude and extremely arrogant, you had to laugh."
"After laughing my butt off, I said something to the effect that ‘I can’t take this seriously, that it really is true that we do see others as we are’."
"I broke it down further year-by-year, that the first year Jaymie rated me — that Jaymie was an uncooperative and incompetent individual and that was what Jaymie said about me. The second year Henrietta and Joyce rated me, with Henrietta being the dominant voice. That Henrietta was a very cruel, abusive individual. That the only way I could deal with Henrietta’s abuse was to become quiet and focus on getting through the day. That because this was not the reaction Henrietta wanted, that Henrietta wanted me to be fearful and/or behave just as badly as she, and because I did not, Henrietta rated me as being too detached and not caring about what I did. I said that Joyce went along with that appraisal because Joyce had a tendency to not be able to see beyond Joyce’s own nose. I didn’t just say it in words, I put my hands up besides my ears to show the limit of Joyce’s hearing and then just in front of my nose to indicate her limited seeing."
Reading that now, it appears I had no fear by then. I’d outgrown them.
"I went on to say that now here it was year 4, and I’m being told I’m hostile, rude and extremely arrogant. I said that what was funny about this was that Joyce was saying about me what is being said about her. I said I never took offense to Joyce and that when people would tell me Joyce was rude and arrogant, I would say, ‘Oh she’s okay — that’s just her way’."
Of course, Joyce and Jane had already made up their minds I was the one who was hostile, rude and arrogant, so no one in the meeting was really listening to me.
I went on to write something that, looking back at what I’d written, tells me how far I’d come — that being "It is probably inconceivable to Joyce, Jane (and Henrietta) that they might be wrong; and God forbid they entertain the thought they might not be perfect. I have noticed that people who are vain and arrogant believe the way they see things is the way things must, are and have to be. This kind of personality is always looking out negatively at others, never positively, always negatively; and this type of personality never look inwardly at itself".
I also wrote, "I think what is really bugging Joyce and Jane is that no matter how bad they treat me or write me up or how many impossible demands they make upon me, I get the job done. I keep a smile on my face and I don’t complain. They want to break me."
As the journal went on, it appears that I as much told them this by saying, "I am getting the impression you want me to be whimpy, whinny and pathetic, and I’m just not going to do that".
ROFLMAO, OMG. This beatdown wasn’t going the way they’d planned.
At any rate, the journal went on … "We ended up coming to no conclusions. I said I wasn’t going to take this evaluation and this conversation about ME being hostile towards attorneys, rude and arrogant seriously or personal. Jane said their perceptions must be true because ‘We all see it that way’. I said, ‘You are all the same person’. That I was sorry they felt the way they felt, but I can’t be bothered by other people’s perceptions. That I wasn’t responsible for other people’s perceptions. That I was going to continue to come in and do my job the best I could and if they were bothered by my personality there was nothing I could do about that."
Insubordinate? I think not. After all, THEY insisted on discussing it. LOL.
"To top it all off, after Joyce, Jane and Donna finished telling me I was three-day-old dog do-do, Jane said, and I quote, ‘But we’re really happy with you. You have a good attitude, we think your work is very professional, and you’ve been a real trooper, a real team player’."
"I kid you not."
From reading the journal, it looks like it was three more months of bad behavior — mostly Joyce because, whereas Jane had backed off after the beatdown didn't go as planned, Joyce was incensed by not being able to take me down and by what I'd revealed to her about her. So, having grown and having done all I could do with them, I was done and transferred to another unit. A transfer Jane tried unsuccessfully to block. And when Joe, the Administrator who was in charge of such things, later told me Jane came to him and asked that he block the transfer, in the journal I’d written my response was to say, "Why didn’t Jane just apologize and begin treating me right?" Joe replied, "You know that’s not Jane’s way."
Foolish foolish woman. An apology and doing the right thing could have been far less traumatic than what followed.
What followed was Jane’s new Lead Secretary — Stephanie telling Personnel she’d made a mistake and wanted them to get her out of that unit. It wasn’t long before Michelle — my replacement, would seek me out, cry on my shoulder, tell me how much she’d come to hate Joyce.
Michelle had transferred into the position in a job swap. Joyce had told Michelle, "I’m really looking forward to working with you. It’s a real easy job. We do our own work".
So, Michelle, thinking I was the problem, not the attorneys, eagerly took my desk job, while I took her job in Word Processing where I was warmly greeted, treated well and happy.
When Michelle became miserable, complained to anyone and everyone about the volume of work and the witches, Jane tried unsuccessful threats and intimidation tactics to get me to transfer back, but no. I stayed put, Michelle left the company.
A secretary from another unit transferred into that slot but went back to her old unit within three months.
Donna, Joyce, Jane and Henrietta began fighting amongst themselves, blaming each other as being the cause of all the chaos and turnovers, while the work I’d been tasked with, while in the position, had to ultimately be farmed out to three other people in the agency, plus an associate and, with no one wanting to work for any of the witches, a series of temp workers sat at the desk. One temp was Q, who became a close friend and ultimately my supervisor when I turned down a promotion to head of the Word Processing unit, suggested him instead. Another temp, by the name of Jerry, sat at the desk after that and Jerry stuck it out until the unit was disbanded. Jerry didn’t like Jane, sought me out, kept me informed, LOL.
Jerry remained friends long after a merger/relocation sent my friend Q and I to other areas. Now retired, all these many years later, Jerry is still tight with Q and I, was even present at Q’s Fleet Week party in 2018 where we were still gossiping and laughing about our time with Jane and the other witches.
|2018: My friend Q on the left, Jerry on the right|
All's well that ends well.