Monday, December 18, 2023

On the 18th Day of Christmas

So few days remaining before the market’s Elf Hunt comes to an end.

Popping in, after this morning’s workout, I checked the immediate area, no Sparkle.

Looked high and low through the Bakery, Deli, Diary. Still no Sparkle.

Thinking they’d hid her pretty well this time, I began walking through the isles, picking up needed groceries as I thread my way in a manner where I could also see the walls and counter near the Meat Department and the check stands.

No Sparkle.

Finally, I’d thread my way over to Produce.

No Sparkle, and by now I was somewhat in disbelief that I’d been stumped, could not find her.

Determined not to give up, I walked the perimeters of the market twice more, taking care to recheck the isles, high and low on the walls, with no success.

Stopping to regroup at the end of Produce, I said to myself that the only place I’d not checked was Liquor and rationalized that, because of children searching, they would surely not lure them to the Liquor Department, but I nevertheless mosied on over to Liquor.

Still no Sparkle.

Dang it!

At this point, standing at the edge of the Liquor Department, having pretty much given up, I saw the Security Guard coming towards me.

Not the hugging guard, but the cute little lesbian guard who so enjoys my statement t-shirts … the Lock Him Up one, the Alabama Slammer folding chair shirt, and the one that says It’s a Great Day to Respect Other People’s Pronouns that now, when she sees me, her eyes light up, she either smiles or gives me a knowing nod.

I sometimes wonder if her knowing nod is her connecting with me as a kindred spirit or her gaydar misreading me as also Gay, rather than an Ally, but I'm not bothered by whichever it is.

So, anyway, when she approached, I said, "I give up. I’ve searched the entire market three times and can’t find the elf. Where is she?"

"I have no idea, but let me check".

Just as she picked up her walkie talkie, went to make a call, I said "Never mind. I just found her".

Talk about being in the right place ..... had I not been standing where I was standing — not IN the Liquor Department, but on the edge, and turned just so, I’d have not seen her as I’d passed that area several times, looked at that tree, but she was hidden on the far side.


They did a really good job of hiding her this time. Made me work for it.

"Did you get your treat?", the little security guard asked as I exited the market.

"Not this time. I just like to find her".

Talk about being in the right place at the right time, just as I stepped out of the market doors, who did I see but Dream Lover walking towards the market with a cute tiny little old Black lady.

We greeted each other, and he engaged me in conversation — asked me a question that, for the life of me I can’t remember, because my mind was so focused on the elephant on the lot.

Sizing up the elephant, she seemed a proper little church grannie, but I doubted he’d met her in church. Far more likely that he met her at the senior center where he works as a volunteer.

She stood pleasantly by his side as we talked. Finally, I interrupted the conversation to ask about the elephant.

"Is this your lady friend?"

He said yes and introduced us.

I lied in saying to her "You have yourself a really nice man".

"Thank you", she replied, and we all went our separate ways.

How interesting, especially since it hasn’t been that long since Dream Lover and Boebert exchanged telephone numbers, and now Boebert sticks her nose in the air and won’t even look his way.

This fortuitous sighting begs the question …… how long has this little lady been Dream Lover’s lady friend?

He must have had her all along, even while he was trying to hook up with Boebert.

Was he trying to trade up or two time?

I try not to judge, but I've almost been fooled by, and actually fooled by too many married men, especially that one guy who chased me for over a entire year, got the office involved, my boss involved, all wanting to know why I would not date him with he being "such a nice guy".

Only to discover, a year into the relationship that developed — with him ultimately falling in love with me, me falling in love with him, that he was the whole time a married man.

Consequently, it really chaps my hide that men feel it's okay to have a bird in the hand and one in the bush .... if that's what he's doing.

Too bad Dream Lover didn’t transfer from the opposite side of the complex to the Smoker's old unit across the quad, where I can’t keep an eye on what he’s about.

He’d be a much more interesting neighbor than the new tenant who, by the way, continues to demonstrate the same behavior as the Smoker — doesn’t come outside, windows shuttered, blinds closed, breathing in bad air.


  1. All lesbians appreciate a cool t-shirt, it's a well-known fact.

  2. Men are terrified of not having a significant other so if they have to have one in the hand, one in the bush, one in the corner, one in the church, it's all right.
    Unless all those women happen to get together!

    1. Interesting perspective. I'm all in for the women getting together.

  3. On the last elf day, you need to take 4 or 5 more elves in and spread them around.

    1. Fun idea, but I'd have to hide them high up, or folks would steal them, and my climbing days are over.

  4. I think the cute little lesbian guard simply knows a kindred spirit when she sees one. I'd want to be your friend after reading your T-shirts.

    1. According to Debra's comment ... it's a thing 😄

  5. The elf hiders are kicking it up a notch.
    I hope the proper little church grannie knows what she's doing.

    1. She looked fragile, sweet, totally clueless, but she's Black. She may never catch him two timer her, but if he puts his hands on her, doubtful she'll be running to a shelter like the woman he moved in here with. Instead, he'll probably get himself hammered with a skillet.

  6. Curious why did you praise him to her? Thanks. Olivia

    1. Just to end the conversation. I couldn't very well say "good luck" to her, and it's to my benefit for him to continue to think I'm stupid, don't know his history, is unaware of what he does.

  7. That Sparkle is half-hidden! Extra points! Linda in Kansas

    1. Once I saw her, I couldn't unsee her, but one had to be standing where I was by liquor or circling the market clockwise, rather than the counterclockwise I'd been going.

  8. Great job on (finally) finding the Elf.

  9. Well at least they hid the elf well this time.

  10. I saw her this time... and I've sucked at finding her. They had one hidden at the Appleby's we went to but couldn't find it, would have Won something if I had... nope... no idea. *LOL* As for cheaters, I have no respect for anyone who cannot and does not Honor their Commitment to a Partner... whether Married or not... one person at a time is sufficient and being disingenuous usually means other deep Character flaws I would find offputting. I only once Dated a Guy I didn't know was Married, he was Separated and considered that Single enuf I guess. His Roommate ratted him out, knowing I did not Date Married Men, and I went all Dark Dawn on Mr. Cheater. He was a Handsome Hawaiian Guy in the Military and had left his estranged Wife and Child in Hawaii. He confessed, but only after being Called Out.

    1. How fun that Appleby's is also doing it. As for the disingenuous ones, what's sad is that, in these golden years, they're still pulling the same old crap.