No Room at the Inn

It’s that time again. Spring has sprung and once again it’s a battle with the birds.

Around this time every year, for the eleven years of living here, I’ve successfully discouraged birds from moving into the highly desirable property which is way too close to my living space and access to the patio storage area — the eaves over to the side.

Though I’ve managed to keep birds from squatting in that prime space, they’ve outsmarted me and moved to nesting overhead, somewhere in the decorative roof tiles where I can neither see or reach, but they leave me droppings to clean up every single day to let me know they’re there.

Nothing I can do about that, but the battle continues to prevent nesting in the prime real estate area they all seem to want. All of last week, I caught birds eyeing that spot and chased them away by opening the screen door — the sound of which scared ‘em off. That is until a particularly stubborn couple kept coming back — determined to nest there.

It was a battle that lasted for days, as I’d opened the screen, scared them away, they’d fly off, sometimes for a few seconds, sometimes for hours, but inevitably return.

They’d catch me preoccupied with crafting inside, away at the Pain Cave or market and start bringing in supplies for a nest.

Not too smart, though I, inasmuch as the screen door opening/closing signaled I’m living much too close to where they were determined to nest, but I guess they figured once they became squatters — built the nest, lay eggs, they could lay claim and that would be that.

I thought about it — let them move in, that it might be interesting to see the nesting process, baby birds popping up, learning to fly; but then again there would be all kinds of bird and insect mess piling up on that side of the patio, plus the birds living there would attract those dreaded lizards, not to mention the annoying early morning cooing the parents would make, the chirp chirp chirp that babies would make, so no. You can’t build there I kept telling them, go nest elsewhere while there’s still time to find another location.

Did they listen?

Nooooooooo.

They just kept coming back.

After a particularly vexing day of chasing them off, I had the bright idea that something was needed to seal the opening so they’d be forced to squat elsewhere. But what to put up there and how to reach it.

What I came up with isn’t pretty — and neither is the fact that the video I’m about to show you is cloudy because the patio window needs cleaning, but with the use of the grabber, that stylish looking walking stick I recently purchased and a couple grocery bags, I managed to end the war with the birds. They’ve not returned these last two days, but it wasn’t like they didn’t fuss and fume, with many flyovers inspecting the hindrance, and try to find a workaround before they realized there was no room at this inn and gave up.

So, there’s that.

Also of note is that around 6:00 this afternoon, there was a knock knock knock at the door.

If you guessed it was my little stalker, you guessed correctly.

"Are you back from San Diego?" asked I.

"Just visiting" said she and gave me a hug — which I didn’t mind since I’d had a couple weeks to breath. Not the continuous knock knock knock.

"Your GG really missed you", I said.

"Everyone missed me", she replied.

ROFLMAO! Modest little thing isn’t she.