This Is a Mad House

Thank God it’s Friday.

It’s been a short long week and I’m ready to not HAVE TO get up, get dressed. After this morning’s workout, I have no schedule to adhere to for two days. I can do what I want when I want, get dressed as late as I want or lounge around in sleeping clothes all day.

There is no bingo this afternoon, as bingo is every other Friday.

I’ve been keeping an eye out for the failure to scoop offender, but there’s been no sign of him/her and, fortunately, no new messes on the walkway or grass along my path to the car.

This may be because someone else has gotten to and spoken with the individual or cleaned it up, which is what Painted Rock Lady said she does. When she sees someone has failed to clean up after their dog, she herself disposes of the mess left behind.

I couldn’t do it. It makes me nauseous just thinking about cleaning up someone’s dog mess ─ though I’ve sometimes wished I had a stronger constitution and could pick it up so I could drop it off at the offender’s doorstep or toss it in their face.

That thought got me to thinking a good super power, among others I’d like to have, would be to be able to send the mess to the offender’s doorstep like the Wartville Wizard.

The Wartville Wizard is a children’s story about an old man who became tired of picking up all the trash and litter left behind by others. Then, one day, he realized he had the power to clean it all up by telling the trash to "return to owner".

The Wizard, being the ultimate punisher, took it a step further ─ the trash would not only return to the individual responsible for the mess but also attach itself to the person’s body.

That would be a good lesson for irresponsible dog owners were I granted that super power. The offender would not only get their dog’s mess returned to them, but we’d be able to know they’re the culprit because we could see the mess stuck to them and smell it.

Heading to the mailbox yesterday afternoon, I thought I saw that strange young woman using the pool again, but I’m not absolutely 100% sure if it was she or another strange woman, possibly a new resident.

What I saw was a woman with an old face, and a young toned body, not an ounce of fat, wearing the hell out of a skimpy two piece black bikini.

Sorry, Mike, I wasn’t in a position to take a photo unnoticed.

She was talking to herself as she dragged one of the plastic patio chairs to the pool shower. The shower was out of my line of vision, but I could tell she was giving the chair a shower because I saw water flowing along the ground from that direction.

Then all of a sudden, I saw the chair fly away from the shower, crash on the ground. She then came back into view, picked up the chair, tossed it here, there, all the while talking to herself. At one point, I heard her tell the chair this tossing was her way of drying it off.

Though I’m not sure it’s the same young woman who came across as paranoid when she thought I was taking a photo of her, it was the same voice and the same paranoid aggressive energy I’d felt that day when she waited for me by the gate to ask if I’d taken a picture.

At any rate, expecting the chair to crack/break into pieces, not wanting her to turn her focus towards me, I hightailed it back to my unit.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if this talking to herself, tossing patio chair individual is yet another troubled resident management has burdened us with because everything management does is bass ackward — they’ll reprimand a resident for allowing her grandkids to ride their little scooters on the walkway, but won’t do anything about the dog that barks non-stop ALL day long, that many of us have complained about (including me) or about the crazies. Instead, they bring more crazies in.

The only saving grace is it’s a clean affordable mad house and, thus far, no reports of monkeypox ─ though we did receive notice that yet another resident has testing positive for "Covid-19 and is under self-quarantine".