For Whom the Bell Tolls

Out of the loop as I am, it took me eight days to learn the resident known as Shadow in the blog has passed away.

"Shadow" because, once he hooked up with my former friend The Seer, where she went, there went he.

Shadow was an interesting character. Somewhat of a cad, trickster, a bad boy whom we found likeable yet and still.

Age 60 when he moved in (2018), nothing to look at in my opinion, he nevertheless lured my former friend The Seer into a relationship, impressing her with his resume of where he’s been, what he’s done in life (Sniper in the Army, Purple Heart recipient), and how he now has a comfortable pension.

Two of our guy friends broke the Bro Code and expressed misgivings about Shadow after having caught him lying about his background and accomplishments — said he had not worked where he said he’d previously worked, had not resided where he’d previously said he lived, among other things, and it was blatantly obvious to anyone with eyes that Seer was dropping very far below her level in hooking up with Shadow.

I never believed Shadow's resume. Had checked the Registry of Purple Heart Recipients, found Shadow’s name not listed; but he wasn't my problem, so I never said a word to Seer or anyone else. I just listened to what others had to say, watched as Seer made the choice to become defensive of their relationship, cut friends out, including myself, and became arrogant because she "had a man" and we were simply "jealous".

I was hurt by her change in behavior towards me, saw her relationship as an accident about to happen and, knowing such arrogance was leading to a fall, closed my eyes so as not to see the carnage when it happened.

I’ve got to give it to Shadow though. He played a clever game, a masterful game.

He wined and dined Seer, listened to her advice to stop hanging around with hoodlums, bringing rough looking types onto the complex after he received a lease violation, almost got himself evicted when police were called to escort one of his low life friends from the premises.

He catered to Seer, called her "My Queen", went to church with her and hovered so she never had any distance from him, no time to think, ponder, even consider Shadow might be anything other than the white knight she envisioned him to be, the "real man, all man" she liked to brag he was.

It was a good year before Shadow tired of the game, stopped going to church, stopped wining/dining, began smoking/drinking to excess, hanging out with the other smokers, engaging with low life's outside the gate, spending less and less time with Seer, disrespecting her by telling the guys how quickly she "dropped her panties" for him.

I once actually caught Shadow hiding on the property, trying to avoid the Seer. Felt sorry for her when I saw her walking around trying to find where he was, and the experated way he threw up his hands, waved her away when she found him.

Lonely and trying to make amends by that point, Seer would pop up at events, try once again to engage with us, her former friends.

Some were forgiving, water under the bridge. However, if you haven’t noticed, I am not the forgiving type.

I’m fair. I’ll roll with whatever for a time, had actually given Seer many opportunities to straight up, fly right but when she became what my mother termed as "sometimey" ─ sometimes she’d speak, sometimes she’d turn up her nose and ignore me when I spoke or waved to her, sometimes she’d cut her eyes and give me the mad dog treatment for no reason, I’d had enough.

By the time she began trying to reengage, it was too late. My heart had hardened. She was dead to me. There was no forgiveness, no going back.

Seer moved out in 2022.

She'd begun drinking and, in a drunken stupor fell, hurt herself, was moved in with family and passed away shortly thereafter of heart failure, which those of us in the know attributed to Shadow not treating her right — using her, his coldness, not caring as much as she did. It broke her heart, hastened her death.

She chose, so cad that he was, I respected Shadow's bad boy game. Besides, he was always cool with me.

He was funny too. Whereas Seer burnt bridges, became offended and told me off for referring to her man as her shadow, Shadow himself said he had no problem with the moniker. That "when I was in high school, they called me Tigger because I had a girl on both arms".

I didn’t get it, he wasn’t a looker, but you gotta appreciate a bad boy who is out and proud about it.

That day last week when I took the circuitous route back to my unit — by Shadow's unit, to avoid Compton, I saw a makeshift shrine on the lawn.

The meaning did not register until yesterday, when I noticed maintenance had tossed furniture, clothing, household items into the trash bin.

A sign someone has passed away.

Then, throwing my workout bag into the jeep, heading for that morning's workout, I happened to look over and noticed Shadow's American flag was missing from its spot on Shadow’s patio, gone also were his patio furniture and plants.

Putting two and two together, that items in the trash were from his unit, the shrine was for him, I called around and found Shadow passed Thursday of the previous week, right out front of the property where he was smoking with his usual group of guys.

Word is that, while seated in his chair walker, he suddenly gasped, fell back in the chair with such force that the chair tipped back, his head hit the concrete.

The guys think Shadow made his transition at that time, from what they later learned was a heart attack, before his head took a blow on the concrete, long before the ambulance arrived, tried to resuscitate him.

I’m told the guys were pretty shook. I would be too if it happened right in front of me, but all in all not a bad way to go, quick like that.

I liked him, liked the bad boy character that he was and now envision him hiding from the Seer in the afterlife.