Walking into the Pain Cave this morning, I greeted Trainer, set down my water bottle, cellphone, keys as Trainer began walking towards me when, all of a sudden he stopped, looked down and said, with a smile on his face — as though he saw something cute, "Will you look at that".
I froze. "What?".
"It’s a little baby lizard," said he.
There was much screeching and screaming after that as I jumped up on top of the nearest bench.
"Are you being serious right now?" said Trainer as I continued to screech and yell "Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"
"It’s little, a baby" said Trainer.
"Size doesn’t matter. It’s a lizard. Kill it!".
To make matters worse, it was a white lizard.
Whoever heard of such a thing?
How many more ways can nature torture me?
Saying, "You scared me Shirley". That he didn’t initially know why I was screaming, didn’t occur to him it was because I was afraid of a baby lizard, Trainer got a broom and began sweeping the lizard out of the studio while assuring me he was not going to sweep it towards me, but rather towards the open door.
A bookcase was positioned in such a way that I couldn’t see the floor in the door area, so I didn’t believe Trainer when he said the lizard was gone, that he'd swept it out the door. I thought the lizard had eluded him and made it to the corner opposite the door, where Trainer couldn't get to it.
"He’s gone. I swept him out the door. I wouldn’t lie to you."
I eventually trusted putting my feet back on the studio floor, got down to working out, with Trainer continuing to say he thought I was joking at first until he saw how wide and wild my eyes looked when I was perched up on the bench.
"I thought you were gantsa, could handle anything".
"Not creepy crawlies", said I.
So, anyway, today's workout was once again the ladder. Only this time Trainer said he was going to push me a little and had me hop sideways, instructing to get my knees up high as I went along.
This was as high as I could get 'em.
Not my best work, and later this afternoon, at bingo, I became aware my right hip was aching. It feels a bit out of alignment. Not sufficient for a visit to the acupuncturist, but enough to require soaking in a hot tub and some yoga stretches.
I don't think I'll be engaging in any future knees up sideways hopping again.
Walking into the Community Room this afternoon, I saw the refrigerator had a big old "STAFF ONLY" sign on it.
Logic tells me the words "Community Room" signifies a room set aside for the community of residents — our kitchen, our refrigerator for our events. But unless and until someone of authority, someone with power who actually gives a damn comes along that we can complain to, there’s not a thing us seniors can do but work around management.
Shadow — the resident that caused my former friend The Seer, now deceased, to turn on all of us, said we should unplug the refrigerator or cut the cord.
I actually like that suggestion of sabotage, but reminded him of the kitchen’s video surveillance system.
Curses, foiled again.
Dear oh dear oh dear, you're not going to like my "Friday Face OFF" art in today's post.
ReplyDeleteI saw it earlier and refrained from commenting, LOL.
DeleteThe Baby Albino Lizard at the Pain Cave, after you just had the Baby one on your Patio, they're stalking you Shirley. *Winks* When someone has a legit phobia of anything it's no Joke. I saw someone using the Ladder in the Exercise/Physical Therapy Room at The Daughter's recent Appointment for her Eval. Looked like something you could do from Home if you found it to be beneficial and not cause injuries. I avoid any range of motion that would cause problems at my Age, we just become more fragile even if unawares of the risks of what seems benign. My Brother once got a serious Back Injury from bending over to pick up one of those large Jars of Pickles... he felt foolish, but did injure himself significantly, and, who knew a Jar of Pickles and a bend could cause such a debilitating injury?! I know you take Care when exercising and cease when something takes a toll... now I'll reconsider a Ladder regimen, but, it had looked intriguing and doable, I must say. As for the Community Room Fridge now being "Staff" commandeered, that isn't right and is contemptuous.
ReplyDeleteIt was weird that first there was the baby lizard at my door then one in the Cave. Especially since the area of the Cave is asphalt. Like, where did it come from? Is this some kind of message I'm not getting? How about sending the message through handsome good-looking guys stalking me rather than lizards? I enjoyed the ladder and could handle the straightforward way we were using it, no injury. The jumping sideways through ... not so much. Give it a try. Just take it slow.
DeleteTime to bring in a half size fridge and label it: FOR THE RESIDENTS OF THE COMMUNITY! So sorry you frightened that sacred little white lizard with your screaming. He just wanted to race on the treadmill. Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteThought of a small fridge for us residents but figured management would complain about our using their utilities to run it and/or whoever caused this bru ha ha by stealing staff's lunch would steal the fridge.
DeleteA staff-only refrigerator in a community room is unbelievably offensive. Do you suppose you hurt yourself when you jumped to escape the lizard? You poor thing.
ReplyDeleteIt did occur to me it might have been the sudden jump that I didn't even know I was capable of 😄
DeleteCareful; about the staff, one day soon the sign may say Staff Room; give 'em an inch, they take a mile.
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly what I said to Red Light. In fact, I framed it as a prediction that one day we will no longer be allowed to use the Community Room at all.
DeleteThose poor little lizards. 😉 First you pepper spray yourself then you do your hip in bench jumping to escape one. What's next on their agenda (be careful - they say things come in three's) Viv 😄
ReplyDeleteSo far, the weekend has been lizard and injury free, LOL.
DeleteI'm thinking lizards don't produce just one baby in a batch. Where there's one, there's more?
ReplyDeleteStaff Only fridge in the community room?!
That being said, me thinks I'll have Trainer do a search of the Cave for baby lizards before I step inside.
DeleteLizards are our friends. They eat bugs. When we lived in Mexico, the geckos used to crawl around the ceiling in our bedroom. We loved them.
ReplyDeleteTo each their own but perish the thought of inside crawling around on the ceiling, bad enough to see them outdoors.
DeleteWe all have our Achilles heel, mine are bees, wasps, hornets etc. Pretty much anything else I can deal with.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly how I phrased it to Trainer this morning, when he was teasing me still about the lizard, that "we all have our Achilles heel" even he himself.
Delete