No Means No

It’s April Fool’s Day, and I was hoping to wake up this morning to learn the orange fellow’s presidency had all been a monumental prank.

No such luck.

Since I don’t plan to see anyone today, I don’t imagine I myself will be pranked, but I just gave myself the giggles remembering how I once pranked the office, by posting a note to the copier that it had been upgraded to voice activated, and caught the boss, standing at the copier, looking perplexed, trying to figure out the right words to say to the copier.

I don’t recall him finding it funny, but he wasn’t angry either. More like embarrassed, caught with his pants down, because it brought attention to him doing something he felt inappropriate – making copies of his daughter’s homework … as if anyone really cared.

The April Calendar of Events indicates a Spring BBQ on the 14^th here at the complex -- hamburgers and hotdogs.

The plan is to bring my own turkey dogs and sign-up for deli potato salad.

Heading to the sign-up sheet in the Community Room, after leaving optometry yesterday, I walked in on a group of about six residents having a meeting, looking to be spearheaded by next door neighbor.

“Come join us”, she said. “I’m collecting ideas on the types of activities we’d like to have”.

Surprised, but impressed that next door neighbor had gotten off her soap box and was actually doing something, instead of complaining, I replied “No thanks. You guys look and sound like a volunteer committee, and I want nothing more to do with volunteering”.

She insisted, “We’re just collecting ideas now and want your input”.

“Unh uh, no, never again”.

“Maybe we can get you to give residents classes on scrapbooking and needlepoint?”

“Did you hear the part where I said ‘Unh uh, no’ to volunteering?”

It was all good-natured back and forth. Others at the table were laughing, but I made it clear that, “After that last Pizza Tuesday, I will never volunteer for anything ever again”.

Finally getting to walk over to the sign-up sheet, I saw The Baker evidently doesn’t want to cook either, because she’d already signed up for potato salad.

After some quick thinking, I signed up for condiments.

That should be quick, simple, easy -- especially since I later found a condiment food hack using a muffin tin.

Clever, isn't it?

After signing up, I headed for the door but, before I could get out, The Seer yelled out from the group, teasing me with “I’ll call you later”.

“If it’s about volunteering, I won’t be answering the phone”.

She didn’t call, but The Baker phoned to let me know of an event not on the calendar, because it was late decided upon – Egg Decorating on Friday, April 7.

After thinking about last year’s Egg Decorating, and how I was stuck with eggs too cute to eat, too cute to toss, and ended up giving them to a little girl I saw walking the property with her grandma, I decided I didn’t want to get stuck with cute eggs again; thus, probably not participate.

But then, out-of-the-blue, something said “wooden eggs”.

Never heard of them before, had never seen them before but, after Googling and looking at a few on Pinterest, I’m all in.

So off I am today to Hobby Lobby for wooden eggs, chalk paint and paint pens.