Meet the New Neighbor

Or not.

Still haven’t made it out-of-the-area to Trader Joe’s. Been relying on the local market and, a funny thing happened on the way back from the market yesterday.

Not funny ha ha, but funny weird.

I’d previously mentioned getting a new neighbor in the unit underneath mine a little over a month ago. The individual moved in under the cover of darkness and has been keeping a low profile ever since except noise travels and, every once in a while, I can hear what sounds like a woman arguing loudly with a male.

Even though my instincts are good to the point of being uncanny at times, I questioned those instincts when they told me it was one person arguing with his/herself, ala Norman Bates.

Those instincts, that something wasn’t right, kicked in again this week when, returning from the vision clinic, I noticed the blinds in the bedroom, living room and kitchen of that unit were shut tight. No one could see in, no one could see out, and it hit me that the blinds haven’t been open since the elusive new neighbor moved in.

Flash back to when I was a young mother and lived in a building, with my twin daughters, where one of the neighbors kept to herself, curtains always closed. None of us neighbors ever saw her going out or coming in but, we could tell when she was out because she so distrusted us neighbors that she’d seal an edge of her outside door with some kind of caked on goo that I guess, if the seal was broken, would signal to her that her space had been invaded. After a time, there were icky looking blogs of caked on mess all around the door, because she never cleared one area before setting the booby trap in another.

One day she just wasn’t there any longer. I think her son came and took her away, but I never found out for sure.

At any rate, with my instincts having told me something wasn't right with the new neighbor, returning from the market, I saw a woman sweeping up leaves in front of the unit. I started just to say “hello” and head on up the stairs but, like a fool, decided to extend myself.

“Are you the new neighbor?” says I.

Yes she replies without looking up to make eye contact.

“I’m your upstairs neighbor, my name is Shirley”.

Still looking away, she began laughing.

Puzzled, I just stood there, not knowing what to say.

“A lot of Shirley’s” says she.

“Oh. Have you met other residents named Shirley?”

“No. I just know a lot of Shirleys”.

“You won’t have a hard time remembering my name then.”

Silence, still evasive – turned away, avoiding eye contact.

She hadn’t given me her name, so I asked, “What’s your name?”

If she said, I didn't hear her it, so I just left it at “Well, welcome.”

Silence.

Not knowing when to quit, I pushed on, “Have you met any of the other neighbors in this building?”

“I don’t socialize. I don’t even go to the Day Room (me thinks she means the Community Room). I don’t like to be around people.”

“We’re pretty nice here.”

She finally turns in my direction, makes eye contact and pointedly says, “I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE! I'LL SPEAK BUT THAT'S IT!”

“Okay then”, says I and hurried up the stairs.

We’ve had some hard cases come through here. People whose life experiences have left them closed off. Once they get to know us, begin to feel safe, see we’re friendly, look out for each other and don’t judge … much, they loosen up. I don’t think it’s gonna happen with this newest neighbor.

My instincts had forewarned, I didn’t listen.

However uncomfortable the conversation made me feel at the time, thinking about it later I appreciated her straightforwardness. It brought to mind that saying, “When people tell you who they are, believe them”.

Suffice it to say I am now both listening and believing.