Mother’s Day

Hope your day was one of being appreciated.

I myself chose not to be “honored” this year. It was “no thanks” to breakfast, lunch, manicure/pedicure, because I just wasn’t feeling Mother’s Day.

Back in September, something was said to me that opened my eyes to how my life’s work has been so misunderstood, so unappreciated. I was very surprised at what the speaker had to say to me about me, especially since she herself had been no picnic to deal with. Yet I’d dealt with, supported, swallowed whatever hurt and pain had been visited upon me in her no picnic stages, and continued to pray for and support.

At the time the words were spoken, the individual was going through relationship and work drama. So, thinking her anger at others was being misplaced upon me, I let it go.

It wasn’t the first time I’d been snapped at, bombarded with hurtful words, including the time I blogged about being yelled at on her wedding day, and how it was that day, and other occasions, I felt constrained in her presence – like my mouth had been duct taped, my arms tied, and I had to be careful what I said, did, essentially walk on egg-shells.

Though she’d apologized about the wedding day beat down, I was hurt to being on the verge of tears all that day. Not wanting to spoil her wedding day, I held it all in and, planning to stay over, had instead loaded up the car to head straight back home after, so I could let it out and cry in the car.

I continued being loving, supportive ... still.

It’s that thing again about my being slow to burn.

Now craving nothing more than a drama-free life, I guess it’s time to cut that cord.

Looks like a lot of cord cutting going on right now.

At any rate, it took those September hurtful words rolling around in my head to cause me to remember how difficult she herself had been/can now be and realize, instead of being blamed, I should be getting a medal.

Spiritually speaking, I’ll continue to pray and uphold her – as I do for all family members and others. Humanly speaking, however, I’m done … done with swallowing, done with being misunderstood, done with being blamed … done with keeping my mouth shut … done with walking on eggshells … done with people, places, things, situations, circumstances which require I not be who I am, done.

I got up this morning, turned off my cell phone to avoid any “Happy Mother’s Day” calls, popped the in-home walking tape into the DVR – which was so fast paced that I only managed a mile, and spent the remainder of the day on that needlepoint project.

The Mother’s Day celebration here at the complex isn’t until Friday.

Why so late? I do not know.

I enjoy getting together with the folks, whatever the occasion, so I can ignore the theme; but I’m not sure I’ll be attending. Depends on 1) How I feel when I get up Friday morning and 2) Whether I’m stuck in the unit because the termites are swarming.

I didn’t sign up for a potluck dish so, if the termites are not swarming and I decide to go, I’ll have to pick something up on the fly from the deli.

Oh … though I'm not die hard superstitious, there’s a little thing about Friday being the 13^th.