Life can literally turn on a dime.
I think it was Friday when I noticed the sign management attached to our doors the previous week — alerting us to Annual Fire Sprinkler Testing this morning, was still on Next Door Neighbor’s Door.
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Hideously Tacky Doormat is deceiving |
Strange, thought I.
Though NDN is friendly, she's very private and pretty much doesn't hang too much with residents here and our activities. When she does go out and engage, it's usually elsewhere, with people and activities of a more bougie nature, away from us just plain folk types.
Her being such a private to herself person, it’s not unusual to not see or hear a peep out of her for extended periods of time.
So it was I didn’t think anything about having not seen her for days and weeks until Friday, when I realized the notice was still on her door.
That got me to thinking something might be wrong inside, because the notices always somehow disappear after a day or two …………… are taken inside by her I assume.
Thinking something might be wrong inside, but not yet alarmed, when I got up on Saturday, headed out to log in walking miles, I told myself to check the carport for Lucille ………… the name she’s given her car, because maybe NDN was on vacation.
Lucille was still parked in her usual spot.
That’s when I began thinking the worst ……… that she might be inside ……… deceased.
That has happened here.
Trying to talk myself out of that thought, I told myself if that were the case, us neighbors would have smelled something by now.
Sorry to be blunt, but I'm a realist.
Now alarmed, I started to knock on her door, but saw that her blinds were shut tight, like she’d gone somewhere after all, and I decided to give it another day or so — until yesterday morning for the notice to disappear.
It didn’t.
So while getting suited up for yesterday’s workout, now on full alert, I had it in mind to stop by the office, ask for a welfare check on NDN. But then it occurred to me that I might still have her telephone number in my contacts.
I did.
She answered on the first ring.
"Are you okay in there?" asked I.
"No, I’ve been in the hospital since the 2nd".
When she was unable to keep any food down, her son took her to the hospital where, whatever was wrong was made worse.
Not happy with the medical care, her son removed her, took her to another hospital where what had been made worse was made even worser.
Judging from my own medical center experiences, I believe it, which is why I’ve turned away from materia medica as much as possible and rely more on Holistic Care.
At any rate, NDN says she's in bad shape, hooked up to IVS, doesn’t know when she’s going to get better, and then oddly began talking about her plants and how they are inside her unit dying.
I don't have a key to her unit, otherwise I'd water her plants; and she tells me her son lives too far away and has two jobs, so he can't babysit the plants.
She then began asking me if the corner market delivers groceries, as she doesn’t see herself returning to the independence she previously enjoyed.
I assured her the market does, but then I opened my big mouth and said that I can pick up groceries for her when I do my own shopping.
I think she set me up ………… brought it up knowing I'd volunteer.
But whatever ……… it’s not a big deal, and I can opt out if it ever does become a big deal.
NDN was evasive when I inquired, more than once, as to what exactly is wrong with her.
If she wants me to pick up and deliver groceries, bring up mail, that's carrying Hippa and being private a little too far, because I don't want to risk catching whatever she's privately keeping to herself.
Looking like a big deal already, unless she can give me some assurance as to risk, I may have to withdraw my offer, tell her to let the delivery people handle it after all.
Just think though ………… how quickly life can turn on a dime, a healthy today is not promised for tomorrow; and I’ve seen it more than once around here where one day a resident is living an independent lifestyle, the next day the resident has a caregiver.
NDN has been in the hospital for 20 days and, but for that notice on her door, I'd still be unaware something might be wrong and sound the alarm to have her checked on.
Because I too pretty much keep to myself, don't engage with family all that often, I used to wonder how long it would be before anyone realized something has happened and send in the calvary. Now that I train religiously, arrive on time and have done so every M W F for the last five years, Trainer is actually closer to me and more concerned about me than family. If I were 5 minutes late, he'd be on high alert. Otherwise, I’d be completely decomposed and smelling up the complex before anyone noticed.
Yikes! None one would know if something happened to us for months. I can imagine you were a bit disturbed by the absence.
ReplyDeleteYour horses and Homer would know something happened. Homer and the horses should be trained like Lassie to go get help.
DeleteMy mother's neighbors across the street ...you very rarely ever see. It's been years . When the parents died I believe the one daughter stayed in the house. To this date we have no idea that they still own it or she's living there and is just a Hermit or what. But the outside everything is overgrown, the mailbox is on the ground and her recycling bins and trash cans on the carport are always knocked over. Not to mention the house looks like it's in disarray. We have no idea what's going on. And there's never any lights on in the house at night either. It's very odd. We've been assured someone's living there, yet my mother said the house has never been up for sale, and just why is there never any lights on? I'm surprised the township has not complained about the appearance of the house, although there is a lawn service that comes but they've never turned any bushes and the grass gets hellishly long before they mow it.
ReplyDeleteThat is too spooky for words. Shades of Great Expectations' Miss Havisham perhaps.
DeleteYes, anyone living alone is vulnerable to issues like that. It's worrisome for many of us.
ReplyDeleteSeems we all need a buddy, whether we want one or not.
DeleteThis is such a tragedy. No family or friends to check on her? Where are all those friends she was doing things with? At least the son did a little bit, but still, it is so terrible, to be in a hospital with no one to call or tell. I'm glad you stepped up and called up. Good thing you had her number.
ReplyDeleteGood thing indeed, because I for sure thought I'd deleted her number two/three year ago. The fancy friend she used to drive all the way to Los Angeles to spend weekends with passed away. Since then she's been meeting people that meet her expectations through involvement in local politics and card games. Guess those people didn't work out for her. My guess is because she's so boring.
DeleteAbout deleting contacts...I rarely do that because it helps me remember people and where they lived or what they did, just by running through my contacts list. I still have a rolodex on my desk from over 40 years ago when I worked at a cottonseed mill. I took it with me when I became a teacher and added to it, handwriting the cards instead of typing as typewriters disappeared.
DeleteI guess you can say I’m cold blooded because there are people I don’t want to remember. When you’re gone, you’re gone and I remove from my contacts. When Twin 2 was a contender for CNN Hero 2021, I’d texted NDN asking her to vote. She replied “Who is this?”. I replied, “Your neighbor Shirley”, but I figured if she didn’t even know who I was after she’d given me her number then what was the point of keeping her in my contacts. I was for sure I’d deleted her at that time. Lucky for her, the Universe didn’t allow the delete.
DeleteOh yeah, there’s that dime! My mother lived alone with m 5,000 miles away. Her neighbor noticed her NYTimes outside her door at 9 at night and got concerned because she always brought it in first thing in the morning. He let himself in and found her. At her funeral, my cousin told me her uncle wa just found that morning because his neighbor noticed his NYTimes outside his door. My cousin renewed her subscription to the NYTimes!
ReplyDeleteIt seems these notices management posts to our doors are taking the place of newspaper subscriptions.
DeleteSad that she has no one, except her son who doesn't live close. I was glad to be there every time my dad needed help because you never know when they won't be there any longer.
ReplyDeleteShe actually lived with her son when she relocated from Georgia to California, but couldn't get along with Son's wife and had to move to this community. Another dysfunctional family situation, daughter-in-law wouldn't allow her in their home after that ... not even for a visit. DIL found NDN to be "lazy", which she’s not. Her problem is a privileged mindset that's gotten her in trouble with DIL and gotten her in trouble here ... she looks upon others as little worker bees here to serve her. She was once President of the Residents' Activity Committee, when we had such a committee. The other members of the Committee got so fed up with her that they got together and impeached her.
DeleteGood for you for checking on her! I can hear your "Are you okay in there?", and I imagine NDN appreciated it. You're right about things turning on a dime.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you at least have Trainer to note your comings and goings.
Actually, I got the impression she expected more ... that everyone here would notice her absence and be calling because she said, "I was wondering when" and then she caught herself and didn't finish the sentence as I explained it was the notice on her door that brought my attention to having not seen her around. Go figure.
DeleteA sad situation all around.
ReplyDeleteJust the tip of the iceberg insofar as sad situations around here.
DeleteYeesh! I think your absence would be noticed immediately by almost everyone in your complex. It's good that you can help your neighbor, though I'm confused about whether she's home or in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteHospitalized since April 2nd.
DeleteWell, with all the Generations piled in here, I'm covered if I were to drop Dead, unless they did a Weekend At Bernie's with me. *LOL*
ReplyDeleteAnother benefit of multi-generational living. I so regret my family can't do that.
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