They Had Me at Champagne

Color me relieved when I walked into a room of about 60 or so people celebrating The Baker’s Husbands 80^th Birthday this afternoon, and spotted around 20 neighbors.

In attendance were the usual suspects -- Church Lady, Big Linda, The Seer and her White Shadow, Apache, The Woman Who Wants Braids. Then there were other neighbors, who are close to The Baker and those who live in her quad.

Expecting to be one of two Blacks, I needn’t have worried about feeling out-of-place. All toll there were 6 and a half of us – four were residents, one was some friend of a friend in the family group, myself and the half being The Baker’s biracial great grandson --- who knew?

The Baker’s huge family is right out of a television sitcom. Many generations in attendance and everyone warm, friendly, the hugging close-knit type who, according to The Baker, any one of whom can be called upon when anyone in the family has a need. Those in attendance represented only a quarter of how many there really are.

Initially taking a seat one chair away from The Baker and her Shadow, I picked up bad vibes. Shadow was tense, unresponsive to my greeting. When I greeted The Seer with, “Hey! How are you?” Her reply was “I’m good, but nobody better not say nothing to me”.

I’m sure Shadow being tense, and The Seer spoiling for a fight, had nothing to do with me. More likely it was because Church Lady and Apache were in the room and, for whatever reason, the two (Seer and Shadow) have decided they don’t care for them any longer.

It’s disappointing to seen how dark and ugly The Seer has become since hooking up with Shadow, and I’ve got a sense I’ll be the next to be on her list of people she no longer cares for.

Why?

Because when she said, “I’m good, but nobody better not say nothing to me”, my reply was ... “I’ve not seen you in over two weeks, and you’re in the same place you were when I last saw you”.

Meaning – you were dark, ugly, all attitude, spoiling for a fight then, you are dark, ugly, all attitude, spoiling for a fight now.

During the event, I caught her glaring at me a couple times. She was probably trying to figure out why I’d said what I said and, once she works herself up into asking me what I meant, I’m not going to sugarcoat my response. 

When I have to speak truth, I always first ask people if they REALLY want to know what I think/see/know.

They say yes, but hate me later, so they obviously don’t really want to know, which is how I expect the follow-up conversation with The Seer will go.

Do you REALLY want to know, I’ll ask.

She’ll say Yes.

I’ll tell her how she’s changed and not in a good way.

She’ll rant rage, be offended and that will end our friendship.

I’m okay with it ending.

As for The Baker’s family, I couldn’t keep up with who was who but, if I remember correctly, she has four or five daughters. The girls are in the catering business and catered the event -- lasagna, salad, fruit. I, of course, passed on the lasagna, I can’t digest lettuce and, of the fruit, I settled on a few cherries.

THEN, later in the event, before cake, I heard the “pop” of champagne bottles being opened.

Family passed out champagne to all attendees (except the kids) in preparation for a toast to the birthday boy.

Now I know what foods my gut will not tolerate but, not being a drinker, I didn’t know if it would accept champagne and decided I didn’t care of my gut didn’t like it or not -- I was having a glass of champagne and prepared to suffer the consequences later, if there were consequences.

I got a little woozy from the alcohol, but no other side effects so far.

I even pushed the envelope when two of my neighbors said they can’t drink, and I drank theirs as well.

The room was decorated with photos of the birthday boy when he was a child with his mom, a young man driving in Nascar. Even some of the photos I myself had taken were spotted.

When I asked one of the daughters how they’d come by those photos, she said she’d asked relatives to send in any photos they had, plus she’d researched our Facebook page.

Inasmuch as some of the photos she’d plucked from Facebook were the same photos I’d pulled, I thought the Creative Memories Album might not go over all that well.

I was wrong.

The Baker and Birthday Boy both got emotional when they opened the album. Even took time out of opening gifts to go through every page, commenting, laughing. They loved it.

The family was in awe, calling it “The perfect gift”. 

Their reactions made it worth the time, expense, rush to complete.

So the party over and done with, tomorrow we return to our regularly scheduled program – needlepoint, 5ks, Pokémon Go.