Body Language

I woke up this morning to double yolks in my eggs which, according to mysticism, is a symbol of good luck.

Thing is, research tells me chances of coming across an egg with double yolks are around 1 in 1000, so imagine my surprise, because I’d experienced that same luck three weeks ago, when I cracked an egg for breakfast and out came double yolks.

Twin 2 told me to buy lottery tickets but, comfortable inside, I didn’t venture out to do so.

Given a second chance at luck this morning, this time I did pop into the liquor store, after working out, bought two $5 scratch-offs.

Then, I drove across the street, but not to the market.

Your girl has been doing a good job of staying away from the corner market where resides the security guard, who she’s sure is coming onto her, gives her the heebie jeebies.

The market in the other direction has all I need, except for Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream. For some reason, they just don’t carry many of the B&J flavors altogether, but not a problem, thought I, because the corner drugstore, also with a limited selection, does carry Chunky Monkey.

So, completely out of Chunky Monkey, the only ice cream my sensitive stomach will tolerate, I popped into the drugstore only to find not only no Chunky Monkey, but no refrigerated ice creams period, because the section was out-of-order due to a refrigeration problem.

What to do?

This was supposed to be my double yolk lucky day, but the Universe appeared to be working against me OR leading me.

Did my desire for Chunky Monkey outweigh my desire not to be looked at by that security guard?

Why yes, yes it did.

Driving to that side of the shopping center, I saw him standing outside, far enough away from the entrance that I surmised I could slip in without crossing his path.

Getting out of the car, walking towards the doors of the market, I saw he’d spotted me and, I kid you not, he left his outside post and quickly walked inside.

When I walked inside, he was leaning against a structure, trying to look all cool, like he’d not just rushed in to strike that pose, LOL.

I had my phone in my hand and pretended to be intently focused on something on the phone so I’d not have to look up at him or engage.

I hear him give me a cheery, “Good afternoon”, but pretended not to hear because I was engaged in what was supposedly on my phone as I rush by him.

THEN, to get my attention, he says, “That mask is blinging”.

Oh for Christ sake! It’s the same mask he’s seen every time I've popped in after a workout, but this time he just had to comment on it.

Can he not read body language?

My body was clearly saying, “Leave me alone. Don’t look at me. Don’t talk to me.”

I still didn’t look up from my phone. Instead, I signaled a thumbs up and kept on steppin.

The plan for getting out of the market was, after picking up the ice cream, to once again pretend to be engaged in something on my phone, but he wasn’t at the door, nor was he outside. He’d thankfully disappeared.

So, seat belting myself in the car, I look up and see his big gray truck parked under a tree. I know it’s his, because that last time, when I saw him on the lot and, when the coast was clear, did my grocery shopping, I’d seen him get in that truck.

So, anyway, seeing his truck in my line of vision, the windows of which are darkly tinted, it suddenly crossed my mind he’d disappeared from the market because he was in the truck …. watching. But just as quickly as the thought crossed my mind, I dismissed it thinking it a ridiculous thought, that I was just being paranoid.

Maybe ridiculous, maybe not. Certainly no more ridiculous than his rushing back inside the market to pose his body to say, "Look how cool and alluring I am". LOL.

Well, maybe I am being a bit paranoid because, when road construction prevented me from turning into the complex driveway, I had to pass the complex, make a quick turn into and around in a side roadway, then wait until I could get across traffic, drive back to the complex driveway.

I didn’t think anything of it when a big gray truck made a quick turn into and around that same roadway, stopping just behind me. I didn’t think anything of it until, after I crossed traffic, got to and turned into the complex driveway, I saw that same big gray truck had turn when I turned, drove same direction as I, but passed the complex driving in the direction of the market.

Did he follow me from the market?, thought I.

No, it wasn’t he. I checked the footage on the Drive App, saw it was a different big gray truck.

So maybe just a tad paranoid.

At any rate, at least I’ve got the freezer stocked with four pints of Chunky Monkey — all the market had in stock. That should take me into the next two weeks, long enough for the drugstore to sort out its refrigeration situation.

If you’re wondering how lucky those lottery tickets were …. they weren’t, but all is not lost as both have been entered into the lottery’s Second Chance drawing.

To top it off, though the Tyrant got rid of all the cats, new cats are finding their way here, just as I figured. Heading back to my unit, I came across one, a Black Cat, as it crossed my path.

Some lucky day this turned out NOT to be.

I don’t want to see any more supposedly lucky eggs.

Maybe I tossed the luck away, when I scraped the egg out of the pan, tossed it in the trash, because I saw what looked like blood and couldn’t eat, what I felt to be, an almost baby chick.