The Big Reveal

Last night, looking at video of the completed renovation of the Pain Cave, I spotted something that gave me pause.

The warm up station, i.e., treadmill, was crammed in a corner, facing a blank wall.

With a huge picture window where one can look out upon the world, and all the now open space adjacent to, why crammed in a corner, facing a wall, back to the open space, thought I.

I’m not a mafia don that it’s not smart to leave your back open, yet and still it’s smart not to leave your back open.

Trainer knows nothing about the art of placement, but his partner is Thai and, from the tassels, wall hangings, water fountain and Buddha altar he has in his areas, you’d think partner would advise Trainer.

Maybe it’s sabotage, a jealousy thing because Trainer is making a name for himself, doing better business than partner but, whatever the reason, not only did the placement appear esthetically not pleasing, it made me uncomfortable just looking at it online, so I texted Trainer that I didn’t care for it.

Later, I thought about how nervy that was, and worried he might take offense.

I’m not trying to tell Trainer what to do, it’s just that I don’t like to tempt fate. I'm not one to test the boundaries of proper feng shui. It’s like knowing the rules of the road, breaking those rules, hoping you don’t get hurt or hurt someone else.

I don’t know all the specific rules of feng shui, but I think I was born into knowing what I do know, because I’ve always had a feel for placement before I discovered there was a word for it ─ feng shui.

Just to make sure I was justified in not liking the idea of the treadmill facing the wall, back to all the open space, I went online this morning and found the following.

“Save space. Cram it all in, doesn’t really matter right? Um… wrong. Research has shown that sitting with your back to a door releases the stress hormone cortisol, whereas sitting with a view of a door releases the feel-good yummy hormone oxytocin ... Facing an insurmountable obstacle (like an unmovable wall) generally has the effect of squashing a person’s spirit rather than inspiring them to do great things”.

Trainer, not offended, replied to my text saying he’d put a tablet (little tv) on the treadmill, so I’d have something to look at while warming up. That’s not the point, so I texted back it’s a bad luck position.

And just for the record, it’s not just a few minutes of facing the wall while warming up. The procedure is a 5-minute treadmill warm up, split second water break, routine reps, 1 minute back on the treadmill, split water break. A second round of routine reps, another minute back on the treadmill, split second water break. Then we go through that process twice more with two different cross fit routines, finishing with a water break and cool down on treadmill.

So off I go this morning, not wanting to see a little tv on the treadmill but seeing one on the treadmill nonetheless.

Trainer tells me he’s placed the treadmill in the corner because I’m the only one using it and, when I’m done, he folds it back up against the wall to be out of the way.

”I’m the only one using the treadmill?” asked I “How does everyone else warm up”.

”They do jumping jacks and squats”, said he.

”I can do jumping jacks”, said I and proceeded to swing both arms over my head while simultaneously not lifting self off the floor, but instead moving one leg to the side, then the other leg.

”That’s a jack”, said Trainer. “Not a jumping jack”, LOL.

So, I understand his logic ─ I’m old, have to warm up the gentle way, but placement is still wrong ─ bad juju, negative chi.

Bad juju can be offset with tassels, like partner uses, but Trainer is not a tassel kind of guy. So, I suggested a mirror on the wall, because any bad chi would hit the mirror and bounce back out of the room. Also, I could focus on the mirror, instead of a blank wall, and see what’s behind me.

I didn't even look at the tablet while working out. Just looked at the wall.

Will I get a mirror? I dunno, but definitely something needs to be done because today I walked away with lower back pain.

Feels like I've been punched.

Coincidence?

I think not.

And while I’m at it, if you’re interested (even if you’re not) here’s a rule to follow re placement of your bed. At all costs, avoid positioning your bed in line with the door. It’s called the “dead man position” or “coffin position” because the feet or head face the door and resemble how the dead are carried through open doors from the house.

“Chi (energy) enters rooms through the doors and windows. Sleeping directly in line with the door places you right in the pathway of all the forces that enter the bedroom. You should feel safe and secure when you’re sleeping, not worried and vulnerable.”

So, is anyone going to have to move their bed? LOL.