Pizza Tuesday

Giving up needlepoint time to visit with the seniors this morning was worth the tradeoff.

I learned how Monster’s Ball came to be shown.

My buddy Apache was given a whole bunch of used DVDs, so he put them on the table and asked the Little Helpful Lady to pick one. She saw Haley Barry’s name, remembered Haley had won an Academy Award for the film and chose that one.

Then, once the film was shown and all heck broke out, she blamed Apache for showing such a “nasty” movie.

“I didn’t know”, said Apache, “But you chose it”.

So that was that, but bad luck followed.

There was no movie last Friday because Apace became ill and the Little Helpful Lady took a fall and broke her arm in three places.

I hope they threw the DVD in the trash, because it appears to be cursed.

On another topic, there’s been a wedding.

No, not The Seer and Shadow, not yet but, as I was being told by The Seer which resident was married Sunday at their church, it was on the tip of my tongue to ask, “When are you two getting married?” Fortunately, this time I had the thought just before the words rolled off my tongue and consequently was able to bite my tongue and not get myself in trouble.

The new couple is The Lady Who Wants Braids (LWWB) and the gentleman she lives with, who she told me was someone her mother had been caregiver to and, when mom died, she took over as his caregiver.

Since LWWB is one of the group that attend the same church, I guess that was a story to cover what their church would have considered living in sin. Now I’m finding out they’ve been a couple for 22 years.

She needn’t have lied to me ─ I’m not antiquated or judgmental like that, but whatever.

Wanting to give her a wedding gift, I Googled “Wedding Gift Ideas for 60 Year Olds” and came up with a lot of impractical stuff, like:

Cleaning service (too expensive)

Personalized gift basket (too much trouble)

Gym membership (get real)

Coupon for activities in the city (they never leave the complex, other than to attend church a block away)

Tickets to an all-paid vacation (living here IS a vacation)

Then there was:

Good old cash

Ding ding ding ding.

I rushed out, picked up a Congratulations on your Wedding money card, and sent to them via The Seer.

So, gifting is done and behind me.

Speaking of gifts .... Catching up with my Buddy Apache, I learned he’s being pursued by an 80-year-old.

A relatively new resident, the woman in question is in really good shape for her age. She’s thin, lively ─ always dancing around, and has been leaving little gifts at Apache’s door. She's also spicy, having been overheard to say someone, "I've still got a fire" as she swiveled her hips.

I like her.

Even though Apache is nowhere near her age, he could do worse.

A New Friend, A Compliment and Flipping the Bird

That’s been my day this Monday.

I’ve been indoors since my last post, working on that needlepoint project, watching television, enjoying my solitude ─ except for Friday, when I went down to the Community Room just long enough to check the bulletin board for what movie was showing at that evening’s Movie Night.

No movie was posted to the board.

Church Lady, working on a word puzzle, was the only senior in the room.

This being my first contact with a senior I could pump about last Friday’s showing of Monster’s Ball, and wanting to know how the seniors reacted to those raunchy sex scenes between Billy Bob Thornton and Haley Barry, I “slyly” worked in “How are you … bla bla bla bla bla ... How was movie night last week?”

Now Church Lady walks with her back hunched over, like she’s carrying a heavy burden. I don’t know if it’s a medical curvature of the spine issue or a poor posture habit (I think habit), and she also sits hunched over. When I mentioned last week’s movie night, she got highly animated, sat straight up (so for sure it’s a habit) and said, “Girl! We were shocked! There was some stuff in there!”

“It wasn’t like it wasn’t something we never did, but we were embarrassed” and put her head down to look at the floor indicating how people in the room had reacted and not made eye contact with each other.

ROFLMAO!

I didn’t think to ask if anyone had walked out, but I assume everyone was too stunned to move.

Church Lady went on to say there was a huge bruhaha AFTER the movie, with questions being asked as to whose idea it was, who provided the DVD and why it wasn’t reviewed before being offered to the seniors.

She said there was a lot of “it wasn’t me” going around.

So now my quest is to find out if no movie night this last Friday is a consequence of complaints about what was shown the previous Friday.

Running out of supplies, it was with great reluctance I put away the needlepoint project today and ventured out into the world to run errands. Reluctant because, you know .... people.

I’ve amazed myself in how much progress has been made on that needlepoint project in one month but, ten to twelve-hour days, at the expense of grocery shopping, PokémonGo hunting and exercise (except for that one day I worked out on the indoor bike and threw in some yoga) made the difference.

Progress: September to December

Progress: December to January

At any rate, the first people encounter was a woman pulling up in the parking lot of Trader Joe’s playing a tape I recognized the voice as being my spiritual teacher.

I approached, explained that was my teacher of 35 years she was listening to. She said she was led to the teaching 5 years ago. We felt such a kindship at lucking into a like-minded individual that we hugged each other and exchanged numbers.

So, a new friend.

Then, as I was heading to the car, a girl commented on my camo leggings, saying how cute they were, asking where I purchased.

“Oh thanks”, said I “Walmart, online”.

“Oh, soooo cute”.

So, a compliment.

THEN, I stopped by Victoria Gardens, with plans to do a little walking, hit up the PokémonGo stops since I was in the area.

After parking the car, I walked to a sidewalk, stopped, turned on the app to check for the nearest Stop when, all of a sudden, I hear this female voice yelling from a passing car, “Do not text while walking! and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla”. I couldn’t tell what else she was saying as she cowardly sped away.

Since I wasn’t able to yell back to her that one, I was not walking, I was checking my phone while stopped; and two, I wasn’t texting, I was playing PokémonGo, I made my thoughts known by standing where she could see me in her rear-view mirror, arm raised and flipped her my middle finger until she drove out of sight.

So, I momentarily lost my religion for a bit and flipped a stranger the bird.

Two good people encounters out of three.

I may give it another go tomorrow, head down to interact with the seniors on Pizza Tuesday.

We’ll see.

Done and Overdone

Saturday was a nice day for a drive, so I headed back to the medical center for bloodwork.

Arriving at 9:30, judging by that last experience, I was prepared for a long wait with two Woman’s World magazines and the iPod to entertain me, just in case I finished reading the mags.

My number was 10.

The number being served was 93.

Seventeen ahead of me. About the same number as were ahead of me the day before but what a difference a day makes.

The Saturday crew was way more efficient than Friday’s crew, because numbers began to click down at such a rapid pace that I didn’t get through the first magazine.

My number was reached at 9:53 and I was on the road headed back to the complex by 10:02.

So, bloodwork is done.

Overdone was my latest foray in the kitchen.

Deciding on sweet potato chips and coffee for lunch that day, I thinly sliced a sweet potato, dusted with a Cajun spice mix I put together myself, olive oil and put in the oven to slow roast.

It usually takes some time for the slices to crisp, so I logged onto the computer and was surfing around during which surfing I became vaguely aware of a weird smell.

Not nearly enough time for the chips to be done. Not even close, though I, so I ignored the smell until it was so bad that I finally got up to investigate.

I’d forgotten to set the oven to slow and low.

At least the smoke detector didn’t go off this time.

A funny smell hit my nose just the day before, while on the couch deeply engrossed in that needlepoint project after returning from the failed trip to the lab.

What is that? thought I, but that’s as far as it went.

A short while later the smoke detector went off, which caused me to look up from the needlepoint and see the room I was seated in was filling with smoke.

Turns out, I’d placed a cast iron skillet on a burner that hadn’t been turned off.

Opening the front door and patio window to allow smoke to flow away from the smoke detector and turning on the stove fan to suck smoke out got things under control rather quickly, and you think I’d subsequently pay more attention to my sense of smell.

But nooooo. The very next day, I ignored the burning smell until the sweet potatoes burned to a crisp.

My mom, in her senior years, burned down her kitchen ... three times in a row. Homeowner’s paid for a brand-new kitchen each time, but still.

Renters insurance isn’t required for this complex, but I’m glad I finally broke down and decided to get it a little over a year ago.

Still wanting chips for lunch, I gave it a second go.

Nice and crisp. Spicy, healthy and addictively tasty. Worth the effort.

On tap for today is to find out how the seniors reacted to those raunchy Movie Night sex scenes between Billy Bob and Haley.

Sun’s Up

Yesterday, the day before yesterday and the day before that was all day all night unrelenting this ...

Today there was a break.

Not at all sure how long it would be before the universe once again expressed its displeasure with the state of the union, first on my to-do list was that long over-due bloodwork ─ but only because I’d run out of a floss color, knew there was a craft store in the area of the medical center and determined the errand an opportune time to kill two birds with one stone.

But for the floss, I would have kept to local errands and put off bloodwork to another day.

I signed into the lab at 10:45.

It’s a numbering system ─ served in order of arrival.

My number was 31.

The number being served was 13.

At 10:55, the number being served was still 13.

Interesting, thought I. My number 31 is 13 backwards but for heaven’s sake! … How long does it take to draw blood and call in the next number?

At the rate things were going, I estimated at least an hour and a half wait.

I didn’t bring a book to read or needlepoint to work on and life is too short to sit idly by, so I headed back to the receptionist and asked for a refund of the $35 lab fee or a rain check.

No problem. Whichever I preferred.

I took the raincheck, headed for the craft store, loaded up on avocados and almond butter at Sprouts, salmon and veggies at Stater Bros, and was back at the complex before outside turned bad again.

The Stater Bros I dropped into was the one near where the new senior complex is scheduled to be built, a hop skip jump from the fire department. When I patronize this store, it's not unusual to see fire personnel. And so it was today that four very handsome well-built young men in uniform walked in. Of course, I went gaga, and remarked to the cashier how fortunate she was to see that kind of eye candy coming in on a regular basis. “I'm married”, said she. “So I hardly notice”.

“Are you married?” she asked. 

“No. I've been very happily divorced for 50 years.”

“Oh, no wonder you notice them”.

ROFLMAO.

Guilty. I do like eye candy, but the encounter got me to thinking .... I hadn't realized it's been 50 years divorced. I escaped my ex when the twins were six months old. They're 51 now, so wow!

I've had gentlemen friends of course, even been engaged a couple times. But I had no intention of ever remarrying. I just said yes because it was easier to say yes and then not than it was to say no and deal with attitude. Besides, my saying yes was a trap, a test of sort. Because I found that when a guy thought he had me locked in, he relaxed, the mask came off and the real him began to show. Which real him gave me the excuse I needed for kicking him to the curb six months to a year later.

One of the gold chains I wear was a goodbye gift, when I left a job, from a group of girls I'd worked with. It has a pendant that says, "Special and Single". Now that I realize it's been 50 years unmarried, I'm thinking I should have one made that says, "Single because I'm Special".

I Can’t Stop Laughing

Saw this posted to Facebook last night and can’t stop laughing.

Good Morning America’s Michael Strahan has invited Clemson to a "proper meal" of Lobster, to make up for those “Hamberders”.

I hope they accept.

Cats and Dogs

That’s what it’s been looking like around here since last week.

There was a long enough break in the weather this afternoon to allow me to finally take out the trash, check the mailbox and make a quick run to the market, but that’s as far as I could get before the downpour started up again.

I’d been trying since last week to get to the medical center for blood work, so the doctor’s office will stop harassing me, but looks like there won’t be another long enough break in the weather until Friday.

I’d actually driven to the medical center in October to get that blood work off the table but, upon checking in, was told it was not in the system that the doctor had requested.

It was a good thing it was a non-fast because, if I’d starved myself since the night before only to be turned away, I’d have been a lot more annoyed than I was.

At any rate, I’d sent an email to the doc (10/15) that I’d been unable to comply with her request and why.

It wasn’t until 12/05 I received a response ─ “The labs are now in the system. Please stop by to complete these labs when you get a chance”.

Well since they didn’t rush to get their act together, I was not in a rush to comply, so I tabled blood work until I decided to get around to it and have endured a steady stream of harassment since. There are constant Action Required messages, her office has even been so bold as to schedule appointments for me ─ appointments which I’ve immediately cancelled because how dare you.

Having barely moved from the couch since the Holidays, a drive out of the area to the medical center is beginning to look like a pleasant change of pace, so I’m ready ─ but not in the rain.

Yesterday was the day I started feeling like being active again. The Ontario 5K is this coming Saturday ─ too soon because I haven’t trained since November. There are some fun looking races coming up in Long Beach and Santa Monica in the near future, but too far.

I might, change my mind, so thinking I might book a hotel and register for one or two or three, I put down the needlepoint yesterday, got off the couch and made it all the way across the room to my mini-gym to start indoor training until I can get out walking.

After so much time being inactive, thought I'd have a hard time restarting, but nooooo. Thirty minutes on the bike, 20 minutes yoga was easy peasy.

While picking up mail during the break in the rain this afternoon, I made a stop in the Community Room to see if any activities had been posted to the board.

There are none.

However, I did see Friday’s Movie Night is “Monsters Ball”.

I wonder whose idea that was, because the sex scenes between Haley Barry and Billy Bob Thornton aren’t really senior-appropriate. Going to be some red faces, closed eyes and hands covering the ears to block out naughty talk.