Taking It One Day at a Time

Sleep was not disturbed by the sound of sirens and helicopters Monday night, so I assumed looters did not return to this area to hit the pharmacy and market. Just to be sure, on my way to the Pain Cave, I detoured through the strip mall’s parking lot to double check.

Everything was as it was with only the cellphone store boarded up from the previous night’s vandalism.

I can’t say the same for last night, as I did hear sirens around 9:30 p.m. Having no plans to go outside today, I won’t be able to check further vandalism until tomorrow.

We did end up with a citywide curfew, beginning at 6:00 Monday night.

So ironic in that first we had to quarantine, safer at home THEN just when things were opening up we get a curfew.

What’s next?

I shudder to think but, I did notice — when I made that market run on Monday, that folks were preparing for whatever was next — stocking up on water and the toilet paper/paper towels shelves were once again cleared out.

Back tracking to speaking of things opening up, I received an email from the optometrist that he’s open and it’s time for my annual eye exam, also a text message from the braid hairdresser (Locktician) that she can schedule me for the 14th.

Where I go and what I do henceforth is going to be very different from where I went and what I did pre-pandemic. Dawn calls it “Risk Assessment”. 

I won’t be scheduling any manicure/pedicure appointments anytime soon, and though my eyes are important, I can’t imagine my prescription has changed that much in a year, so I’ll hold off on that for as long as I can.

The Locktician is a much tougher call.

I’ve been growing and sporting sisterlocks since September of 1998 but, during the lockdown, I began thinking maybe I should just let the new growth have its way — not lock it in when the shop reopens, just let the braids grow out so I can dispense with having to risk salon appointments.

Though still not sure what I want to do, I accepted the appointment thinking I’ll show up, see if I feel safe in the salon, i.e., clients of the two/three other Lockticians are spaced out, no clients’ children in the salon and, if I arrive and see it’s not spaced out, too many people in at one time, I’ll just tell my Locktician I don’t feel safe, pay her for the appointment, leave and let the braids grow out.

I’ve not yet heard from the dentists, but no question I’ll take my chances, accept his appointment when his office does call, because I really need a cleaning.

I also have to figure out what I want to do about getting the jeep serviced.

Right about the time I should take it in for its next service is right about the time the second wave of Covid-19 is expected to hit, per Fauci’s calculations. So maybe I should take it in sooner … like now. However, with all that’s going on with crowds of protestors, crowds of looters, there may not be a second wave as the first wave may never end, so don’t worry about it — take the car in whenever.

The office is also reopening.

A notice was posted to our doors yesterday indicating the BBQ area will open immediately, the pool will open later this month as will the Community Room. Face coverings required when out on the property, and the Community Room is being set up to maintain social distancing.

I’ll never see the new setup, as I’ll not be visiting the Community Room. I’m happy with the status quo. See no reason to go back to socializing with other residents.

Risk Assessment and taking it one day at a time will be the order of the day going forward, and trying not to watch too much of the news coverage as it continues to bring up unpleasant experiences and the people involved. People who thought they were normal, nice, with not a racist bone in their body, and had no clue (though some did and were quite open about it) that their behavior towards a person of color was the very definition of racist.

Yes, CVM, I’m talking about you, coming across as Mother Theresa on facebook — I know you in real life. You too Bonnie, Henrietta, Joyce, Jane and the dental hygienist that didn’t want to work on me, to name a few. Plus, the security guard who followed me around everywhere I went at Best Buy last year.

As for you Bob and Durand. You two made no bones about how you felt about Black people. Wore your invisible white hoods like a badge of honor but, oddly enough, I appreciated that you were open about it, honest, didn’t pretend to be anything other than what you are.

Your openness gave me a leg up in that, though you had that little group (Danny, Chris, Jack, the girls in your office, et al) that followed your orders to make work life so difficult for me that I’d leave, since I never gave you a reason to fire me. The mistake you made was you thought everyone thought like you two did, and that you two had so much power that everyone would go along for fear of being turned on.

You were right, many were afraid, stayed out of it, but that didn’t mean they didn’t secretly hate what you were doing and supported me. You’d be surprised at how many let me know to be careful because you were planning this, that, the other. You’d be surprised to know how many were too afraid of becoming a target themselves if they befriended me, but met with me off premise for dinner, a movie. Even some in your own management team that didn’t go for what you were doing would tell the janitor to warn me, "Tell Shirley they’re planning this ... tell Shirley they said that".

You'd wonder why I didn't react the way you thought I would react. It's because I knew what you were planning and, calling on my spiritual strength, didn't react. Sometimes played dumb and stupid, as though I didn't understand what you were trying to do. Which, I'm told, frustrated you Durand and you Bob to utter, "Something's wrong with her". LOL.

I’m not a confrontational person by nature, though I’m beginning to loosen up and become more confrontational with age but, back in the day, dealing with racism and abuse of authority had to be tolerated. Keep your head down, grin and bear it at work. Out in the world, make adjustments to get away from it where possible. Stay out of certain neighborhoods and like the time, instead of confronting the new dental hygienist, I just changed my long-time dental office, and I was made to feel so uncomfortable by that security guard, so traumatized by his actions that I'm afraid to shop instore at Best Buy.

I don’t like to think about the bad experiences and the people that made the experiences bad, but these protests are bringing them up, so I’m going to have to step away from the news. Let sleeping dogs lie.

However, what I’m seeing has given me the courage to confront future incidents. I will speak up. Shame the perpetrator myself … "Are you seriously following me because I'm Black … Am I not allowed to shop in peace?" and/or report them, ask to speak with a supervisor.

As for No. 45, posing with a bible backwards, upside down — that’s what the antichrist does. Flips everything upside down, backwards. It’s his job. No. 45 is just doing his job, fulfilling the prophesy of the antichrist coming into power, causing division, chaos.

Your guess is as good as mine as to how it all is to end but, supposedly, the world is to be washed clean and new.

I don’t see it happening.

Like I said with Covid-19, that I don’t see it going away, we just have to learn how to survive in it. Same with racism. Though more are now waking up, there's always going to be hard core racists and those that don't know their behaviors are showing they are. We just have to learn how to survive in it.

So now that I’ve released my thoughts into the blogsphere, I’m off to see what I can come up with to join in on Debra’s Virtual Pride Parade.

This pride parade reminds me of a funny incident with Trainer.

In one of our sessions he asked, “You’re daughter’s a BLT?”

“A what ... BLT ... bacon lettuce and tomato?” was my response

“I saw she (Twin 2) commented on the Instagram photo I’d posted of you, followed her and saw a picture of her with her wife”.

“Oh”, I replied cracking up. “You mean LGB”.