“We Create Our Own Reality”

I had to remember those words, given to me by the spiritual teacher I worked with for years until she passed away, when it was reported to me this morning that Assistant Maintenance Guy (AMG) did indeed get written up -- generally a precursor to eventually being fired if one doesn’t straighten up and fly right.

Upon receiving that information, my heart felt heavy and I was beginning to feeling sorry for the guy until I remembered we are the authors of our own fate, that life is about choices and it was AMG’s choice to not only not respond to a request for assistance while on-call, but to tell the resident (Me) to climb up and perform the maintenance duty AND when I wasn’t strong enough to accomplish it, he called another resident (Handsome Guy) asking him to trot on over and perform the task.

I actually withheld that last bit from the office, because it wasn’t my intent to get AMG into the kind of trouble that revelation would have rained down on him, when I’d gone down to say I’d spent the night in a hotel, my detector was still beeping. I just wanted the smoke detector attended to. AMG got himself in a boat load of trouble all by himself.

Life is about choices.

We create our own reality.

The morning I got back from the hotel, Apache reported observing AMG arriving early at 6:00, get out of his truck, get back in his truck and drive away.

Apache determined it to be, “He just didn’t want to come to work or had other plans”.

That would be not the first time AMG’s anger and frustration at being the Assistant to some lazy kid (Head Maintenance Guy) got the better of him and he’d walked off the job. It wouldn’t be the second either, but the third (maybe even the fourth) and this time he didn’t come back until a week later -- the day he was observed being talked to/written up by Community Manager.

He’s damn lucky he wasn’t dismissed then and there for job abandonment.

I’m sensing AMG is in crisis mode – male menopause perhaps, and his issues with not wanting to be here, not wanting to work harder than his young boss, is just the tip of the iceberg.

I don’t know about his home life. He’s mentioned kids, but I’ve never heard him speak of his wife. He has, however, expressed how he “hates” his new home. 

One of the first to buy in a brand-new development, it bothered him that he had to get permission from the Homeowner’s Association to do some additions to either the house or the grounds (I forget which). It also upset him when additional homes began to pop up around him because the builders, in an effort to maximize on their build, have squeezed in homes, leaving little space between. AMG said he can open his back door, see into the home behind him, almost touch it.

When we had a huge fire in his area, I’d asked if his home was safe. He said “unfortunately yes”, that he’d wished it had “burned to the ground”.

He seemed happy enough to be working here, rushing here, rushing there, having no problems with a lazy young supervisor until he bought that house and a new truck. So perhaps he’s over extended himself and financial worries have added to whatever choices have brought him to this point.

In all fairness, it doesn’t seem right that HMG lives on the property, but is not the one always on-call. That on-call duties rotate between the two and AMG has to drive down from Devore to respond to emergencies.

But it also occurs to me, especially since Apache is reporting AMG “isn’t worried and doesn’t seem to care about the write-up” that, just like AMG wishes his house had “burned to the ground” so he can get out from under, it may very well be he’s making these choices of not responding and not coming to work in hopes Corporate will get fed up, terminate him, so he can get out from under this job and sue under a claim of “racism”.

Which is what Corporate may be anticipating as well, inasmuch as they opted for Community Manager to write him up rather than terminate for job abandonment.

As I’ve established in posts about what I’ve experienced in job situations, racism does occur. However, in this case, AMG doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Whereas my choice in work situations I found abusive was to continue to do a kick-ass job, put on a brave face, maintain my professionalism, cry in private (that people could be so cruel just because they didn't like the color of my skin) and pray for strength to survive it all, giving them no ammunition to justify their actions against me. AMG's poor choices have given Corporate all the ammunition it needs.

So, anyway, life is about choices and what I'm choosing for myself today is to see if the spa can squeeze me in for a badly needed manicure/pedicure. If not today, then tomorrow.