This is the niece I’ve not seen in person since she was three years old because, after her dad/my brother suddenly passed away (he was murdered), her mom felt threatened by my close relationship with niece and no longer allowed me to have her on weekends. In fact, that last weekend I had niece, her mom suddenly rushed into my apartment, snatched her up without a word, even leaving behind niece’s weekend clothes, and that was that until last year -- when niece reconnected with me on facebook, inviting me to her 38th.
Since then, my now deceased sister’s son has joined me on facebook, also two nieces by the youngest of my mother’s children -- another now deceased brother (not murdered, cancer).
Of my mother’s two daughters and four sons, I’m the oldest and the last one standing.
Family togetherness, insofar as I was concerned, was gone with the wind shortly after niece was made off-limits to me. There was too much drama, backbiting, all manner of behaviors I don’t involve myself with and expecting my role in the family to be that of an enabler. Family just became too much of a drain and, in order to focus on raising my own two daughters, I had to separate myself, go my own way, let others go their way. Of course I was vilified as stuck up and the Black Sheep for doing so, but hey … the proof is in the pudding, look who’s still here.
Judging from all the facebook postings, my brother’s and sister’s children look to be a tight-knit group with the goal to bring all family members back into the fold “for the sake of our children”.
Guess that means they want their children to know their relatives and where they come from.
Even though this is a different generation, I’m leery of history repeating itself with “drama, backbiting, behaviors I don’t involve myself with and saddling me with expectations”. So, I have no desire to be brought back into the fold, but still have a soft spot for that favorite niece, as the baby she was. So much so that I promised myself to meet up with her at least once before I leave this earth. Also, one of niece’s brothers had a heart attack not too long ago, so I’d better check-in before they start joining their ancestors.
I would have loved to have gone to last year’s bash, but declined because the drive was too long and the event at night.
The drive is still too long, the event is still at night but, curious to see everybody all grown up and, in turn, let them see how well-preserved I am, I decided to book a hotel near the event and drive up earlier in the day.
I’m sure there’s a good reason for the short notice, probably financial in that she wasn’t sure she could swing a bash this year but, at any rate, none of us knows what another year will bring, so I'm not chancing another year to check a meet-up off my bucket list. I’m outta here tomorrow on an overnight that doesn’t include a 5K.
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