Worst Pickup Line Ever

At Home Depot, picking up carpet shampoo this morning, I attracted the attention of a very nice looking well-dressed businessman. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see him staring at me.

After selecting a Hoover Deep Cleaning product, I went to pass him whereupon he smiled, said “Good morning”. I reciprocated his greeting then went on to the end of the isle to check out other products.

Him now behind me, at the opposite end of the isle, I’d forgotten all about him until suddenly there he was … behind me … in my space even.

Now normally when some stranger wants to make my acquaintance, he comes up with something innocuous like, “Do you know where such and such is?” The very brave and straight forward will get right to the point, “You’re an attractive lady. Are you married? … Do you have a man in your life? … Have dinner with me? ... If I give you my number will you call me?" The ridiculous will pretend to know me, “I haven’t seen you in a long time”.

This guy says, “Excuse me, but did you know the soviets are planning an attack on America? There’s a website which spells out how the soviets are going to wipe out all our electronics.”

No response. I simply listened, with an enigmatic non-committal smile on my face, as he went on to quote an online source where I could check out the validity of what he was saying.

He looked so nice, so normal, I didn’t feel threatened. However, I was assessing him and heard myself say to myself, “This guy is an alarmist. I don’t want what he’s saying in my head.”

With no verbal response or sign of interest coming from me, just that enigmatic Mona Lisa smile, he finally he gave up and walked away.

Worst pick-up line ever.

Caught site of him later on the parking lot.