Nah, No Way

Have you seen those warnings to "If you find a napkin in your car door handle, it is best to be safe and just call the authorities to check it out"?

What that warning is about might mean you are the target of a nefarious plan, that crooks are putting chemicals on tissues, napkins, paper towels, affixing to car door handles to get victims sick, when touched to remove, so they can incapacitate and rob them.

Clever little bastards are coming up with more and more ways to victimize others.

So this is what I saw when, after leaving the Pain Cave on Friday, I stuck out my hand to open the passenger side door to drop in the water bottle and gym bag.

Nah, no way was my initial thought, but I didn’t touch it. I just took a photo, then went to the driver side door instead.

And no ... I didn’t even consider calling the cops. For one, if I didn’t call the cops about a guy walking down the street with a machete, I wasn’t going to call ‘em about a possible chemical laced paper towel, especially when it might have been a situation of the high wind blowing a harmless paper towel there.

Besides, I was in a hurry to get back to the complex, claim my seat at bingo before the room got too crowded.

Later that day, I went down to the car with my grabber tool, removed the tissue and tossed it in the trash.

The tissue was pretty well jammed into the handle, took some effort with the grabber to pull it lose.

So, no way was it placed there by the wind.

At any rate, if this happens again, I’ll know something nefarious is definitely up.

In other news, around 5:30 yesterday evening, hearing my name being called, I peered out the patio window and saw Red Light. She yelled up that she wanted me to meet her at the bottom of the stairs, that she had something for me.

She can’t climb stairs, so I trot down to see what’s up.

"Happy early Valentine’s Day!" says she and hands me a container.

In the container are seven very large strawberries, hand dipped in Ghirardelli chocolate by herself.

Oooooh goodie, thought I sarcastically as I plastered a fake joyous look on my face and thanked her profusely.

I am not a good liar and I absolutely hate having to fake emotions in order to not hurt someone’s feelings, but she seemed so proud and so happy to be able to do this for me.

Bless her heart, she actually said, "I finally found something I can make for you that you can eat".

This because she and Baker are aways asking what they can make special for me to eat snack time at bingo, and I always have said not to worry about me, I’ll bring my own snack.

So, when Red Light saw me eat that chocolate dipped strawberry at bingo she thought ... finally something she could make special for me.

I’m in for it now.

She’ll probably be bringing special strawberries for me all the time now, which I’ll have to put on a fake smile, lie my appreciation and pretend to have eaten.

Just thinking about it is giving me a headache, but maybe this will be a one-time Valentine Day thing.

I’ll find out on Friday the 24th, as that’s the date of our next bingo game.