My New Normal

Planning on a lazy day inside under the A/C, it wasn’t until late, around 10, when I decided to get started on the morning ritual of makeup and getting dressed.

About that same time, I heard sirens.

Not unusual in this senior complex, especially when it’s hot like this, but I nevertheless listened to see if they appeared to be stopping here.

They weren’t, so I went about my business of doing nothing, planning another indoors day.

Along about 10:45, I was on facebook checking out comments to a comment I made on the Big Brother site. There’s a woman on the program named Kaitlyn, who prides herself on her occupation as Life Coach – teaching others how to meditate and handle life’s circumstances calmly quietly. However, upon learning the guy in the house she likes is in like with someone else she fell apart ... crying and raging with jealousy, eventually out-of-anger flipping and voting for the opposition. To make matters worse, she is now Head of House. No question her targets for eviction, as a woman who feels scorned, will be the guy she likes and the girl he likes.

I should be ashamed to admit watching and getting involved in "reality TV", but I’m not. I’ve been hooked on this show since the first episode in 2000 and have never missed a season. What interests me is how people are blind to their true selves until, placed in a situation with others and no outside diversions, the masks they wear in daily life begin to peel off and true character appears – like Kaitlyn’s occupation of telling others how to live life when she’s a mess her own darn self.

It’s fascinating.

At any rate, while on facebook my archeologist friend posted ...

Ohhhhh. Thus, the sirens.

I quickly finished dressing, opened the front door and was faced with a wall of heat ...

I managed a short walk around, no fire in sight, but I could smell fire and saw helicopters off in the distance.

Once back inside, feeling a little dizzy from just that short time in the heat, I logged into local news.

That’s the Devore area where lives our former Assistant Maintenance Guy. He said he hated his new house and wished that last fire had swallowed it up.

Be careful what you wish for.

At any rate, not close enough to us for worry, but I'm prepared. My Go Bag and Checklist for My Family papers were rechecked, restocked, put in place and made ready the minute Summer, known around here as Fire Season, appeared.

To the left are items I've recently added to the Go Bag -- a carry bag for the Instant Pot so, if I land in a hotel during an emergency, I can cook my own food, and a soft-sided electric cooler with adapter, so I can comfortably store food items in the car or hotels that do not have mini fridges.

Hope for the best this fire season, plan for the worst.

May the 4th Be with You

That would be the 4th of July, not the 4th of Star Wars Day.

Either way, I’m not feeling it this year.

It may be the heat that’s killing my vibe, it may be the political climate, it may be I’ve been infected with negative vibes coming from one of the seniors I was around at today’s potluck, it may be I had another attack on my parenting skills a few days ago by someone who made my life a living hell for two plus decades, walked all over me saying “You can’t tell me what to do” when I tried to keep her from creating what is now her reality, and somehow feels I’m the bad guy and don’t love her and that I'm judging her because I’m not now involving myself/stressing myself in whatever it is she is experiencing in having to deal with/work herself through what she herself created. It may be a mixture of all of the above, but I’m not in the mood for this holiday.

Nevertheless, I made it down to Pizza Tuesday and hung around after, just long enough to take photos of the potluck for the resident’s Facebook page.

The event was a success, but in no way because of the Activity Director, but because of her volunteers.

In fact, the Activity Director drove into the parking lot around 11:00, exited the car, headed to Community Manager’s office, and we didn’t see her until around 1:30, well after everyone, once again, did her job for her.

The two ladies who opted out of picking up and delivering pizzas, because Activity Director wanted them to fill out a form and submit to background checks, evidently changed their mind because they did the usual pickup and delivery.

The loose woman organized the pizzas, breadsticks, chicken wings, handled the sign-in sheet and distributed the goods.

The Baker and The Woman that Owns the Room set up the potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, melons, cookies, and other dishes residents brought to the potluck. Assistant Maintenance Guy barbequed the hot dogs.

Head Maintenance Guy is on vacation and, btw, his wife hasn’t delivered yet but “any minute” I’m told.

When I left shortly after 1:30, I’d not seen Activity Director do a single solitary thing except walk in, push for her Thrive in Place -- she’s calling it, and disappear again. She’s saying insurance companies are looking at being fined for their insureds going in and out of hospital. That our plan information is needed for purposes of health information being analyzed to see what we need to thrive in place.

No thanks.

What I need is for you to stop putting your job off on residents, even if they are willing minions.

I was correct in estimating about 30 residents would show up, with only seven having signed to bring a dish. That number eventually rose to thirteen, but 30 or more did show up and there was plenty of food for all.

Handsome Guy made an appearance. We had quite a nice conversation on varying topics, one of which is how much The Seer has changed since hooking up with Shadow.

I’ve been noticing the change in her and was trying to figure out the what and why of it. First thing I noticed was her beginning to come across as over-the-top arrogant and the loss of her sense of humor. Instead of the usual laughing at what I’d say, she began taking my words way too seriously, shutting me down with “You see, I don’t like this... that ... the other”. It came across as arrogant, but I let it go and, because she wasn’t fun any longer, I began chatting with her less and less.

I don’t mean to knock Shadow’s appearance but, believe you me, he’s visually nothing for her to be arrogant over, even if he does cater to her and call her “My Queen”.

When she walked into the Community Room today, all by herself, I inquired “Where’s your shadow?”

Her head went up in a royal manner, she looked down her nose at me and said, “What shadow do you mean? A lot of people shadow me.”

“Your White Shadow”, said I.

She went into a tirade about being sick and tired of people calling him her shadow.

I thought I was the only one, but if others are saying so as well, then there you go. However, I actually don't think anyone else has said so to her because other people don't really talk to her any longer. I think it was just another instance of her being judgmental, finding fault with what I'd said.

At any rate, I tried to peel her off the ceiling by saying that if others are saying so, then they must be joking because I was joking. And further, that I found it sweet that he follows her around.

She calmed down but left it with, “I’ve had enough of having him called my shadow”.

Heard.

Later, when Shadow himself walked in, I said, “Your girlfriend is going to tell you I’ve given you a nickname ... White Shadow. Do you have a problem with it?”

He smiled, shrugged his shoulders and said “No. When I was in high school they called me Tigger”.

“Tigger ... Like the comic character?”

“Yes”.

“Why?”

“Because I had a girl on both arms”.

I don’t get it, but okay, at least he’s cool with me.

As for The Seer, arrogance and pride go before a fall. She’s heading for a great one.

She’s been complaining that “all these women are hating on me because they’re jealous”.

I bought into her losing friends because of jealousy, but now I see ... it’s not jealousy, it’s just that folks are not putting up with her new haughty “I am the Queen” behavior and judgmental attitude.

Talking with Handsome Guy about how The Seer has changed, he said something about how surprised he was to see her dropping so far below her level in choosing Shadow. That’s when I got it ... Her arrogance is actually her being defensive because, in the back of her mind, she realizes she’s settled low and is looking for an argument and a fight where there is none.

At any rate, I can’t deal with people I have to walk on eggshells to be around. So, girl bye.

One funny thing that came out of today’s event was when The Baker asked Handsome Guy to sign a birthday card for R_____. He said he didn’t know who R_____ was.

“Sure you do”, said The Baker. “She lives in our area”.

He still couldn’t place her.

“She’s tiny, drives a red Cadillac”, said The Baker.

Still, Handsome Guy couldn’t place her.

“She’s a little b!tch and a bully”, said I.

“OH! I know who that is”, says Handsome Guy and he signed the card.

Touché

I had no intention of getting on the road day before a holiday but, when I realized this morning that I could go no further on the needlepoint project, because I was missing a color, I decided I had no choice but to head out to the craft store into what I expected to be crowds and traffic jams.

I made it as far as the market yesterday, wearing shorts, and the world did not end but chickened out of going out-of-the-area in shorts and changed into leggings before heading to the craft store.

The roads were surprisingly clear, and the only crowd or jam I observed was at the Costco gas pump, which I decided I wasn’t in desperate need of gas and passed on.

Arriving back at the complex, I detoured through the Community Room to check the sign-up sheet for tomorrow’s 4th of July BBQ. With only seven residents signing up, I didn’t pick up a lot of interest but that doesn’t mean 30 moochers won’t show up and partake of the hot dogs provided by Activity Director and the side dishes provided by the seven who signed up to bring a dish.

We’ll see how it goes tomorrow.

Heading back to my unit, I ran into the grandmother that brought her granddaughter to last week’s Pizza Tuesday and said, “It’s probably hard to tell because she’s blond, that her dad is Black” and I’d said, “Not hard at all. I could tell she was mixed the minute she walked through the door”.

Grandmother was sitting in the lobby, I wasn’t quite sure if she was angry over my being a little too honest, but took a chance and greeted her with a smile.

She greeted me back and made a comment about the weather.

I said something about expecting a high bill because I’ve been having to turn the A/C on at 7:00.

As we were ending the conversation about the weather, and I began to move on she blurted out, “How old are you?”

What a question. People around here don't ask questions like that but, after a moment of shock, I replied “Seventy-four”.

“Oh? Really? I thought you were around 69”.

“Touché!" I thought to myself as I smiled because, inasmuch as I’m accustomed to people thinking I’m much younger than 69, I took it as an attempt at revenge for my not playing the game and feigning surprise at her pronouncement her granddaughter was mixed.

At any rate, inasmuch as I'm 74, 69 is not much of a burn, but if it makes her feel better, then okay, feel better.

Holiday Weekend

Except for the illegal fireworks, you’d never know this is a holiday weekend because, other than several U-Hauls bringing in new residents, there is absolutely no sign of life around here.

Vacancies created by a few deaths, transfers to medical rehab never to return, evictions because some seniors don’t like to follow the rules, a relocation to Arizona, a leaving to move in with relatives down the street, are bringing in new people at a rapid pace. Unlike the old days, when that mean Nurse Ratched was running the place, people were moving out and word on the street was don’t move here because of her and the complex looked like a ghost town, we now have a waiting list. People are lining up to move in.

From my needlepoint perch on the couch, I glanced out the patio window yesterday and spied a new couple …… with a pit bull.

That’s two pit bulls on the property.

Apache, our unofficial mayor, is going to lose his mind.

We had an incident a week or so ago, where a helicopter circled the area for almost an entire hour, yelling out something I couldn’t make out. I didn’t know if I was being instructed to evacuate the area or shelter in place, and I wondered if the chopper people know their equipment is sending out messages that are all static hiss cracking and they should be dropping flyers instead.

At any rate, I waited for the sound of sirens. Hearing none, I decided to shelter in place and wait the noisy chopper circling the area to go away.

Very next day, there was another helicopter. However, no message this time.

I later learned from younger sister, who lives on the opposite end of the complex and had a clear view of the mountain and the chopper, that the hubbub was about some homeless people trying to make a home on the mountain. She said the helicopter was telling them to leave or be arrested. I guess the choppers came back the next day to make sure they hadn’t returned. 

This issue with the homeless is so sad. I can’t imagine, but I can see why the authorities would not want an encampment on Little Mountain because of the likelihood of a fire being started.

All this to say that if the powers that be can send a chopper out two days in a row to chase people off the mountain, why don’t they send a chopper out to investigate the fireworks. It’s been nightly for two weeks, and the fireworks are not normal. They’re some kind of loud sonic boom. It was so loud last night, that I swear I felt the building shake.

I can’t wait for the Fourth to be over.

I’ve been doing a very daring thing lately …. wearing shorts instead of leggings.

“Daring” because I don’t know why. I just never felt comfortable exposing my legs in public. However, I saw a pair of bicycle shorts at Walmart last month that tickled my fancy and began wearing them indoors. Then, one day, in the midst of purging the unit of items I no longer needed, I didn’t bother to switch to leggings for a quick trip to the dumpster. Instead, I made a quick trip in the bicycle shorts.

Not quick enough because Nosey, the downstairs corner across the quad neighbor, ran to her patio, catching me as I was returning, whistled and said, “Hot mama. You have nice legs. You should wear shorts more often”.

The bicycle shorts are really comfortable, but I still can’t bring myself to wearing them while out and about, but I have been wearing them out and about on the complex – to the mail box, the laundry room, the scale in the Game Room, even wore them last Pizza Tuesday to the community room. Wearing them to the mailbox one day, a female resident did a double take and said the same thing Nosey said, “You have nice legs”.

They look like regular normal legs to me, but okay. I’ll take the compliments.

And in the Community Room that Tuesday, Church Lady and another resident whose name I don’t know made comments I didn’t clearly hear about me in shorts.

I see lots of others, male and female, wearing shorts around here, and no one thinks anything of it – except for the guy who is known as “The man with the pretty legs” because he’s always in tennis shorts, shaves his legs and they are pretty. I just don’t know why I myself feel so conspicuous and why others are commenting.

I am, however, beginning to feel more emboldened by the comments and, instead of switching to leggings when I make a run to the corner market today, for avocados to make a vinaigrette, I may go as I am … in shorts.

Getting daring and risqué in my old age.

TMI

Another thing that came out of Tuesday’s foray down into the Community Room was that a resident, new to the complex for about four weeks, brought her granddaughter down to wait for pizza delivery.

I don’t generally refer to folks in terms of ethnicity in this blog, but for purposes of telling the story it’s necessary to point out the new resident is a Hispanic lady.

When she walked in the door with the cute little blonde girl, around 11 years old, wearing a tee shirt that indicated she was into gymnastics, it was an obvious conclusion the girl was the woman’s granddaughter. It was also obvious the girl had some Black in her. She looked like a young Megan Markle.

Just an observation, meant nothing to me until grandma, at one point, said “It’s probably hard to tell, being blonde and all, that her dad is Black”.

“Not hard at all”, said I. “I could tell she was mixed the minute she walked through the door.”

Realizing my mouth had gotten away from me, I thought to temper what I’d said with, “She’s very pretty”.

Fortunately I wasn’t alone in not playing the game, having failed to pretend to be surprised, saying instead that it’s not that hard. Another new resident waiting for pizza delivery, chimed in an acknowledgment that it wasn’t hard at all.

I don’t really know what grandma was thinking that the child’s ethnicity isn’t obvious, but perhaps she thinks it’s cool to have a mix-raced family member and wanted to make sure we knew she’s a member of the club, so to speak.

Another thing that popped into my head later is the way Shadow described Apache’s attempt at fisticuffs.  He said Apache came at him, arms flinging wildly like a girl before others stepped in to save Apache from being knocked flat on his arse.

The image of Apache’s arms “flinging wildly like a girl” is now playing over and over in my head, causing me to occasionally LOL. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to not see that and be amused when I run into Apache from now on.

One last thing coming out of Tuesday’s session in the Community Room is a statement I made about the way Activity Director arrives on premise, then heads into Community Manager’s office, and there she stays chatting for a considerable time while residents do her job for her – pick up and deliver the pizzas, set up the tables, get signatures and distribute the pizzas.

“She’s always chatting while others do her job for her. Nice work if you can get it”, said I.

After Community Manager was called away by the school, because her son was injured, Activity Director had no choice but to join us in the Community Room.

BTW, the injury to Community Manager’s son turned out to be a sprained ankle.

But anyway, Activity Director announced she needs “volunteers” to make their involvement official. “Official” being fill out a form she presented, which form indicates a background check.

A background check to pick up pizzas and help out with other activities because Activity Director is a screw up?

The Seer and The Baker, who both help out with decorating the Community Room and organizing potlucks, said it’s ridiculous to have to go through all that for volunteering, but okay, sure.

The two ladies who use their own car to drive to the pizza place, pick up the pizzas and drive them back, using their own gas, said it’s ridiculous to go through all that for volunteering, no way will they submit to a background check. Activity Director said it's not a big deal, but you can't volunteer if you don't fill out this form and submit to a background check. The two ladies said, fine, we're done with volunteering.

I doubt they object because they have something to hide, because we all supposedly had background checks when we signed up for units in the complex, but you never know. Maybe there’s something management missed.

Will be interesting to see who picks up pizzas next week.

Activity Director also said she needs residents to give her copies of our medical cards. The purpose, or so she says, is to be able to arrange for on-site representation for plan members.

The office already has way too much information on my life documented in their office files, on their computers. They say everything is secure, but what’s secure in this day in age? There no such thing, so I’m not cooperating. I won't be giving them anything other than what they already have. And needless to say, I was done with volunteering a long time ago.

No News is Good News

Not a single solitary thing going on in my life. No drama, no excitement, no problems and I like it like that, which makes my long-time spiritual practitioner, now deceased, wrong.

Way back when life was overwhelming -- what with family problems, financial problems, dealing with racism and abuse of authority in work situations, I’d see my practitioner at least once-a-week and the Shaman, now also deceased, twice-a-year.

The Shaman would tell me what was coming, why others were doing what they were doing, which advanced knowing gave me a leg up, and the practitioner would meditate and lift me to a place where I could detach and stay high in consciousness under the bludgeonings of chance, bloody but unbowed as others went low.

I remember once saying to her, “Does it ever stop?”

“No, honey. Ninety percent of the world is here to challenge and test the other ten percent. It’s how we grow. Life would be boring without it.”

Well, I’m going through a period when the trials and tribulations in my personal life seem to have stopped and guess what ... I’m not bored.

So not bored that I started not to head down to the Community Room to people watch this Pizza Tuesday, even though I’d not had contact with others since last Tuesday. However, having nothing in my life to entertain you folks with, I decided to go down to see what the old people were up to.

Church Lady was once again back. Still looking for sympathy, she responded to my hello with an excuse for being there ... “I only came down because V_____ invited me to coffee”.

Did I ask? I just said "Hi".

At any rate, V______ interjected, “Yes. I told her she needs to come down more often”.

“You use to be here every day” said I.

“Not anymore” said Church Lady. “Nobody misses me anyway”.

Not wanting to go down that poor me road with her, I walked away. With all the serious things going on in the world right now, ain't nobody got time to acknowledge her little hurt feelings.

Catching up on the happenings, I learned Apache is still on that quest to get the pit bull off the premises. There was to be yet another big pow wow with the new Corporate Boss Lady, Community Manager and people Apache contacted from the county this afternoon, but Community Manager was called away around 11:30 on an emergency. The school called to say her son had been hurt.

Hopefully it’s just kid stuff and nothing serious.

With Community Manager called away, Assistant Manager missing in action, and Head Maintenance Guy (HMG) also missing in action, that leaves only Activity Director and Assistant Maintenance Guy to man the premises.

As to where Assistant Manager and HMG are today, no one knows. We’re guessing, however, that perhaps his wife is in labor.

What does that have to do with Assistant Community Manager being also missing in action you ask?

If HMG is at the hospital on baby watch, she'd be there with him because HMG is her nephew.

Which explains how he was able to get away with doing so little in the past, but he’s cool now. That shakeup with former Corporate Boss Lady being fired, former Assistant Maintenance Guy getting a write-up and then quitting, must have awakened him. Either that or he too got a warning from Corporate.

Upon remembering to ask what’s happened to the pregnant young lady living with her grandma, I learned she’s working now and also bought a car, which is why I’d not seen her in ages.

We’re waiting to see what happens once she delivers.

Will we be subjected to a baby wailing at 2:00 in the morning? Perhaps an echo with HMG's baby wailing from the west side of the complex, the young lady's baby wailing from the east.

Posted to the board was a sign-up sheet for a 4th of July Potluck next Tuesday, the 3rd.

This would be the first time Activity Director actually scheduled an event not days after, but actually more timely -- the day before.

Asked if I was planning on attending, I said probably not because Activity Director’s events are boring. But it looks like us seniors won’t be doing our own thing – a barbeque, music, dancing, because Apache and Shadow are fighting, even came close to blows I’m told, other residents had to jump in and separate them, and since those two are usually the ones to get those impromptu get-togethers started, I’m guessing not this time and I’ll have to drop in and satisfy myself with Activity Director’s event.

As to why the boys are fighting, there's nonsensical reasons coming from both sides. However, from where I'm standing, it looks to me like Apache is jealous that he’s now not the only big dog on campus. Of course that's too much truth for Apache, he'll nut up on me if I tell him what I see. So I'm taking the role of Switzerland here, neutral territory, not saying anything to either side, just listening.

However, if the boys don't settle down, if the two do come to blows, rule is both will be evicted.