Husband in a Box

Other than finishing and placing in my first 5K of the year, the only other 2020 accomplishment is giving the sitting area of my little senior unit a long overdue makeover.

Makeover because the couch cushions ─ long past the suggested replacement period of 7 years, were showing signs the time is now ─ tired and faded looking, frayed in spots; not to mention the throw pillows and backrest had long ago lost their looks and buoyancy.

After the experience of growing up dirt poor, having to do without and make do, then later in life struggling financially to raise my twins ─ see that, within my limited resources and within reason, their growing up years were better than mine, that they did not also have to do without, it is now engrained in me to continue to budget and get creative with what I have, rather than purchase new ─ even though that way of life is no longer necessary. So it was that, for the longest time, I made do by flipping the couch cushions over to the not so worn side and stitched up new covers for the throw pillows.

All sides of the couch cushions now looking equally worn, faded, frayed, the throw pillows coming apart at the seams, I gave in and went for a complete makeover.

BEFORE

AFTER

I didn’t bring in a new couch. Instead ─ thrifty woman that I am, I thought ahead when I eons ago purchased a couch built to last a lifetime, so only had to replace the cushions, throw pillows and began looking for a new backrest.

I would have been content taking the easy/less having to make decisions way out by reordering everything same same, but the old southwest cushion pattern had been discontinued, which put me in a quandary all of last year, as I delayed the inevitable decision for fear of making a color choice I’d regret and have to live with.

Having finally decided to just do it, the only other southwest print the manufacturer offered was horrendous so I went safe, narrowed down the color choices, and went with Hitchcock Denim.

When it came to finding a backrest of a color that would work with the new color and style to give me the support I needed for long hours of sitting ─ working on the latest needlepoint, watching television, daydreaming while looking out the patio window, watching neighbors heading up/down the walkways, I ran across something described as a “Husband Pillow”.

WHAT?!

I had to Google it.

“A husband pillow is a high backed soft pillow which has two arms around it and is used to support your back”.

Ohhhh, a backrest.

Okay, but why call it a husband, when a backrest is what it is and would have sufficed to say?

I personally was a little offended at first ─ is there a girlfriend pillow for guys? But the color and style were what was needed, so I clicked “buy” and husband arrived ... in a humungous box.

All that box, for such a small looking husband?

Instructions were to remove from packaging, then “shift, shake or move around the filling with your hands to speed up the expanding process” ─ in other words give him a massage. The other option was to give him 24-48 hours to expand on his own.

Bad enough to call it a husband, but then instruct to give him a massage? I chose to remove packaging and wait the 24-48 hours.

Not unhappy with it/him, but what’s with the tubular object?

I have a sneaky suspicion that tube, which reminds me of John Gray’s tree incident, is the real reason the manufacturer calls it a “husband”.

All in all a successful makeover, but I’ll be dispensing with the tube.

On another note, I am so glad Megan Markle has made the decision to flee to a more welcoming environment, take Baby Archie and Harry with her. What she’s essentially saying to her detractors is “take this job and shove it”.

I have a sense that if Harry hadn’t support this move, she’d still have taken Archie and fled.