Everything Goes Towards the Light

I’m still working on yesterday’s Eat What You Want Day meal.

I did say one order of Chicken Pad Kee Mau would get me though lunch, dinner, lunch the next day but, though I didn’t find much chicken in the order (Thai Place is under new management) the noodles and veggies were generous. So generous that, when I went to finish the leftovers off as today’s lunch, there was enough for lunch AND yet another dinner.

Since yesterday was an off clean-eating day, I stopped by the market and picked up a pint of a new ice cream I’d seen in a magazine. An ice cream that had me at the word “shortbread” as an ingredient.

I do love shortbread cookies, but haven’t allowed myself that indulgence for over two years, so ice cream with shortbread went on my bucket list.

When not following the clean eating program, and indulging in sugar, I’m a Ben and Jerry Cherry Garcia girl, but I gave this Haagen-Dazs Vanilla, Tangerine and Shortbread ice cream a try and wasn’t disappointed. There’s still a half pint to be finished off, so looks like my Eat What You Want Day has been extended to two days.

It was bright sunny yesterday so, of course, the termites showed up in the afternoon. There weren’t very many, about a half dozen or so and, believe it or not, an actual termite control professional showed up this morning, along about 11:00, accompanied by our cute new Maintenance Supervisor, just as the termites were beginning to swarm.

Termite guy pronounced them dry-wood termites, and found a tiny hole in a corner of the bedroom windowsill to be the entry point. No luck finding patio window entry point, but did find signs they’re living in the wall along that side.

One of the things I enjoy about this unit is its location. I’m upstairs, in a fairly safe location, facing the sunlight, don’t feel all closed in by other units, and the view can’t be beat.

View from Patio Window

View from Bedroom Window

It sounded rather metaphysical when Termite Control Guy said, “Everything goes towards the light”. What he was telling me is, inasmuch as termites are attracted to light, my unit being on the sunny side, I am the lucky recipient of swarming season.

As to what’s going to be done, didn’t sound like tenting when he said, “Our product takes 45 days after treatment.”

“Holy crap!” says I. “It’s already been 59 days.”

“Soon as I get a report written up and they (management) approve it, we’ll come out and get started clearing it out. In the meantime, here’s what you can do …”

This you won’t believe.

That’s duct tape you see.

Termite Control Guy instructed Cute Maintenance Supervisor to duct tape the windowsill.

I thought it ridiculous, but lo and behold, the swarm ceased. They couldn't get through. However, I'm the world's worst skeptic and think they’ll just look for another way in, so I remain on termite watch.

Before leaving, Termite Control Guy asked, “Are you spraying them?”

“Yes”.

“It’s making it difficult for me to see where to do the treatment. So will you not spray them?”

“No. If I see ‘em, I’m killing ‘em”.

“I know you’re afraid of them. Some people are so afraid, they throw their furniture away.”

“I’m not afraid of them. I’m annoyed by them and don’t want them crawling around in my unit.”

End of that conversation.

Now that termite control has finally been here, will be interesting to see how long Nurse Ratched drags out getting this taken care of.

Eat What You Want Day

Never heard of this day before, but sounds like a good idea to me so, I’m in.

I’ll be indulging in Chicken Pad Kee Mau (pan fried wide noodles with chili, sweet basil leaves, broccoli and bean sprouts) from Thai Place. One order gets me though lunch, dinner, lunch the next day, so I won’t have to cook again until Friday.

After learning Friday’s Potluck is Brunch, if the coast looks clear insofar as termites, it's decided I will be attending with my contribution of bacon wrapped tater tots.

There have been no termites last few days … that’s a good thing. Not trusting it, however, I remain on termite watch – never leaving the unit for long periods of time, constantly checking the patio and bedroom to make sure they’re not swarming.

Had I known I was going to be on termite watch this long, I’d have invested in a Wi-Fi video camera and downloaded the app that lets you see your home on your phone. They're on-sale right now, so I may do so anyway.

After Nurse Ratched three times advised of appointments with termite control, and no one showing up, I get an email stating she’s set up an appointment for tomorrow to “inspect and create a plan of attack”.

I’ll believe termite control actually showing up when I see them, and the appointment “to inspect” sounds like more stalling and futzing around.

Tomorrow, Thursday, will be Day 59 of this nonsense. Are we ever going to get around to actually doing something, other than trade emails, talk about it, inspect it?

Up until now, I personally have had no direct contact with Nurse Ratched. I saw early on what she was about when she came to the complex all gangbusters – pompous, arrogant, rude, unfriendly, pushing residents and staff around, causing what was once a waiting list of seniors clamoring to get in to become vacancies up the wazoo. Consequently, I made a point not to give her an opportunity to treat me with as much disdain as she treated others. If I had a maintenance request, I’d go through one of the other girls in the office and our excellent long-time maintenance man got it done.

Nurse Ratched just didn’t exist in my world.

When she and I passed each other in the office pathways and on the property, she’d look down her nose at me. I’d pretend she wasn’t there.

In fact, other than that one time, in November of 2015, when she was being fake in front of her kleptomaniac boss from Corporate, she’d never even spoken to me in the four years she’d been managing the property.

Another good thing

Now that there’s just Nurse Ratched and the latest Assistant Manager, there’s no way around direct contact; plus, she’s set up a system which gives her complete control, requires everything filter through her.

So, this adventure with termites is actually the first time I’ve dealt with her first-hand, and it’s given me an opportunity to focus on, study and observe close up how she operates.

I find it’s not that she “won’t do anything about anything”, as residents constantly complain. It’s that she doesn’t know HOW.

She can and does put on a great game face, and is a master at fast talking, back tracking, talking in circles, to where, if you're gullible, she sounds knowledgeable, but behind that smoke screen is a dense and completely clueless woman.

A lot of what I’ve seen in the past now makes sense. For instance, the way she’d made the previous office staff do her job for her.

She didn’t know HOW, so she’d bully the rotating others – the girls assigned to leasing duties only, into doing her job as well. Sometimes we’d overhear complaints, yelling even, that "I have my own job to do, I'm overloaded" and they needed her to do her own job; “rotating others” because one-by-one the girls became fed up and quit.

The only reason Nurse Ratched is not dumping everything on this latest Assistant Manager is because this one comes across as useless for anything other than leasing. She always has a frightened deer-in-the-headlights look about her, and is so afraid of displeasing Nurse Ratched that all anyone can get out of her is that she'll ask Nurse Ratched about it.

In a quest for complete domination and control, Nurse Ratched forced out our long-time knowledgeable maintenance man – who could have told her Day 1 how to handle this termite problem. In his place, she brought in -- promoted to Maintenance Supervisor even, the fool who didn’t know the difference between termites and wasps. He was so bad at the job that he actually frustrated her incompetent behind to where she one day exclaimed to a complaining resident, “Where do I get these maintenance men!” and promptly got rid of him. Now we have a young cutie, who is pretty to look at, but seems totally lost and dependent on Nurse Ratched to tell him when to jump and how high.

Now that the termite situation has brought Nurse Ratched from being invisible and outside, to visible and inside my world, I can see the lies, the threats, the control tactics she’s visited on staff and residents is because she’s scared of being found out. Living a lie, she’s trying to hide the fact she doesn’t know HOW to deal with day-to-day management of this complex.

That doesn't excuse the lies, incompetence, abuse of authority but having spent my career in Corporate America, it's not like I've not seen it before. Sometimes these miscreants are found out and shipped off, mostly they're not and go on destroying lives and careers.

Nurse Ratched herself is well-aware she's a fraud, actually seems proud of being able to get away with it, telling one resident who'd challenged her, "I always win."

She's been careful to be polite with me, maybe because her instincts tell her I'm not some feeble old person she can push around or stall forever. However, if and when this termite thing is resolved, I fully plan to go back to her being invisible, not existing in my world.

Mother’s Day

Hope your day was one of being appreciated.

I myself chose not to be “honored” this year. It was “no thanks” to breakfast, lunch, manicure/pedicure, because I just wasn’t feeling Mother’s Day.

Back in September, something was said to me that opened my eyes to how my life’s work has been so misunderstood, so unappreciated. I was very surprised at what the speaker had to say to me about me, especially since she herself had been no picnic to deal with. Yet I’d dealt with, supported, swallowed whatever hurt and pain had been visited upon me in her no picnic stages, and continued to pray for and support.

At the time the words were spoken, the individual was going through relationship and work drama. So, thinking her anger at others was being misplaced upon me, I let it go.

It wasn’t the first time I’d been snapped at, bombarded with hurtful words, including the time I blogged about being yelled at on her wedding day, and how it was that day, and other occasions, I felt constrained in her presence – like my mouth had been duct taped, my arms tied, and I had to be careful what I said, did, essentially walk on egg-shells.

Though she’d apologized about the wedding day beat down, I was hurt to being on the verge of tears all that day. Not wanting to spoil her wedding day, I held it all in and, planning to stay over, had instead loaded up the car to head straight back home after, so I could let it out and cry in the car.

I continued being loving, supportive ... still.

It’s that thing again about my being slow to burn.

Now craving nothing more than a drama-free life, I guess it’s time to cut that cord.

Looks like a lot of cord cutting going on right now.

At any rate, it took those September hurtful words rolling around in my head to cause me to remember how difficult she herself had been/can now be and realize, instead of being blamed, I should be getting a medal.

Spiritually speaking, I’ll continue to pray and uphold her – as I do for all family members and others. Humanly speaking, however, I’m done … done with swallowing, done with being misunderstood, done with being blamed … done with keeping my mouth shut … done with walking on eggshells … done with people, places, things, situations, circumstances which require I not be who I am, done.

I got up this morning, turned off my cell phone to avoid any “Happy Mother’s Day” calls, popped the in-home walking tape into the DVR – which was so fast paced that I only managed a mile, and spent the remainder of the day on that needlepoint project.

The Mother’s Day celebration here at the complex isn’t until Friday.

Why so late? I do not know.

I enjoy getting together with the folks, whatever the occasion, so I can ignore the theme; but I’m not sure I’ll be attending. Depends on 1) How I feel when I get up Friday morning and 2) Whether I’m stuck in the unit because the termites are swarming.

I didn’t sign up for a potluck dish so, if the termites are not swarming and I decide to go, I’ll have to pick something up on the fly from the deli.

Oh … though I'm not die hard superstitious, there’s a little thing about Friday being the 13^th. 

Still Got It

It’s been drizzling last few days, which gave me a break from termite duty. Those bad boys seem to only make an appearance when it’s sunny and hot outside. So, with what started off as a day of not having to be on termite watch, I headed out to put in the required miles for the Mother’s Day Hot Mama Jama Virtual 5K.

Finishing in 1:17:53 isn’t bad … I’ve still got it, but what I’ve still got is rusty.

After a month of sitting, all my joints felt stiff. I walked a little funny, with a slight limp because of hip and back pain during the entire walk. Once back at the complex, I ended up applying pain patches to the achy areas.

On the way back, I became worried about what I’d find, termite wise, because the sun was coming up. Thankfully nothing in the patio window, nothing in the bedroom window; however, it looked like life was giving me yet another “sign” in the bedroom.

A wall decoration had begun taking itself down, preparing itself for a move.

The struggle was real, and I was wobbly as I pushed through the joint stiffness/pain, climbed up on the bed and got the tapestry back-in-place with Command Strip.

Inasmuch as Nurse Ratched doesn’t seem to care about termites in the walls, though I, why should I care about holes. So, to ensure the tapestry stayed put this time, I pounded in a few nails.

Thinking back on that woman from Fair Housing/Mediation Board … the woman I spilled all the tea to yesterday -- Spilling the Tea meaning: telling all another person’s business, she obviously must have been here to interview a complaining resident; and, when she encountered me, her questions were “fishing” for information … getting a feel to validate whatever that resident had contacted her about.

I actually don’t expect much to come from the encounter. Maybe management will be forced to go to the expense of tenting the place – which will spare the next tenant of having to deal with the problem, maybe the outcome is I can get out of my lease without having to buy myself out. The only certainty is ... unable to lie because I’ve got emails, Nurse Ratched and Corporate will never again reply to email requests for service. There will be a new rule against emailing staff. Everything will have to be oral … in-person and telephone. That way, management can lie and residents can’t prove the lies.

My next 5K isn’t until July, and it’s in the same area as that senior complex I’m having looked into, some 75 miles away. There’s another new senior community a few miles away from that one, and an older complex in that same general vicinity. So, if I can get my joints to loosen up to where I can compete with a group, rather than do the 5K as a virtual, I’ll book myself into a hotel for a few days prior to the race and do some serious looking while in the neighborhood.

If not, I'll still sign up for the race, book a hotel and, in between looking into senior housing, find someplace to do the race as a virtual. 

The downstairs neighbor moved out yesterday, which means I now have no excuse for all-day sitting. I can pop a walking tape into the DVR and get back in good walking shape without disturbing anyone downstairs. 

Never a Dull Moment

It's lights out on that green cross across the street.

The business is closed, shut down, boarded up, as is the dispensary I pass on my way to Starbucks.

Both were raided yesterday -- the one across the street just moments after I took that photo of folks lined up outside.

Having returned to my unit for termite watch, I missed the whole thing; but a lot of the residents watched it go down from the Community Room.

The raid even made the newspaper … “Police and sheriff’s investigators served a warrant Thursday morning as part of an ongoing investigation involving an illegal marijuana dispensary ... several people were detained and transported to jail ... arrested on a variety of offenses, including operating a marijuana dispensary, which are illegal in the city.”

I thought it was a legal operation. Nurse Ratched told us at the Residents/Management meeting that, at prompting by residents, she’d checked, the police said it was legal and the business was in compliance.

Another one of her lies?

She probably never talked to the police.

I'm confused as to the legality/illegality, as it seems to me the business owners would not have gone to the expense of fixing up the property, even to adding that neon green sign, if they'd thought it was illegal.

The news article went on to say, “We received a lot of complaints … This has been a long-time investigation.”

No way was it a long-time investigation -- the business just opened up.

As for “a lot of complaints”, that would be our residents. LOL.

“Authorities seized about $7,000 in cash and marijuana, and there was also a marijuana farm inside the dispensary.”

Holy smokes! They were growing the stuff inside. How long did they think they’d get away with the stupidity?

“Several residents of a nearby apartment building cheered as officers and deputies took into custody several of the people inside the dispensary.”

Again ... that would be our residents. ROFLMAO!

“Most of those arrested and taken to county jail were college students.”

That would be the kids from the university down the street. Parents paying for their education aren’t going to be happy.

Also of note, and file this one under God Works in Mysterious Ways, just this morning I asked a relative to check out a senior complex I'm interested in 75 miles away. If it looks good to her and I'm not over the income limit and relocation keeps looking like the direction life is leading me, I'll drive down and view for myself. Now I'm not all that sure relocation is what life is telling me to do. It may be telling me to stay put and make a difference where I am because, reentering the complex after taking today's photo of the business across the street, I was asked by a well-dressed woman if I could let her in the gate.

Sure.

As we walked, she asked, "So how long have you lived here?"

"Four years, but looks like I'll be leaving."

"Why?"

"Well, I like my unit, but I've got a termite situation."

"How long?"

"Since mid-March."

Being a friendly open kind of person, I filled her in, even showed her photos and videos on my phone and spoke to her of Nurse Ratched and Corporate and all the lies and threats to seniors.

Now, keep in mind, I had no idea who this woman was. She could have been related to Nurse Ratched and my arse could now be grass.

My arse may indeed now be grass because, after spilling all the tea, she identified herself as representing an agency dealing with housing for seniors and a mediation board. 

She said, "You look like the kind of person that would have documentation."

"Emails and videos".

She smiled and asked me to report the issue to the Housing and Mediation Board. "Tell them exactly what you've told me."

I did.

I put together a timeline, photos and sent via email.

Nostalgic Already

I’m nowhere near gone, yet waking up early, looking at the view from the bedroom window, I felt a tinge of nostalgia. This unit really is in a great location. I’ll be hard pressed to find something that pleases me as much.

However, as a spiritual student, I must accept life is not about what we want but what life wants for us, and the signs read being led in a new direction.

Instead of first piddling around, followed by breakfast, bath, makeup, getting dressed for the day, I headed straight to bath, makeup, getting dressed so I could make it to the market and back before the termites began today’s attempt to swarm in.

Parked and getting out of the car in the market lot, I looked up at the surrounding mountains and was once again filled with nostalgia. Waxing philosophical, I began to think about all the residents who’ve indicated to me how unhappy they are living here, want desperately to move, but can’t afford it. Here I am fortunate enough to be able to afford it, not unhappy, not wanting to move, but being forced out by termites.

Speaking of being a spiritual student … signs … everything happens for a reason, it occurred to me yesterday that termites showing up when I was planning to be out-of-town on a three-day meditation retreat meant I was to cancel and stay put. So I did … cancel that is. I gauge when I've done the right thing/the wrong thing about how I feel after, and it felt like the right choice had been made.

Accepting that everything happens for a reason, we don’t always get to know the reason. We just do what we are given to do and walk by faith that there IS a reason … a plan.

Lo and behold, in the market this morning, I ran into the woman who’d stopped being my ten-year BFF about a year ago. Reason being I’d voiced how uncomfortable I’d been at witnessing her verbal abuse of another human being.

She disagreed with her actions being disturbing, saying to him something along the lines of his making/causing her to treat him thusly and, “I don’t like having to do this to you.”

To me, she tried to justify her mistreatment saying, “You don’t know what he’s put me through.”

Having been an abused spouse, I recognized both those statements to be 1) Standard excuses used by abusers and 2) Indicative of not accepting responsibility for one’s own actions.

My not validating her being justified marked the end of the friendship … she stopped speaking to me. Oddly enough, the end came as no surprise because, for two years previous, it had come to me in dreams and meditations that, though we both are spiritual students, she was going in a different direction. In fact, just before the friendship ended, I’d told her, “I feel you drifting away” – meaning drifting away from the spiritual path altogether.

At any rate, I wasn’t sad to see the friendship end, as she’d morphed into a bit of a drain spiritually speaking. While my focus is on listening, letting go, being led, her focus became about doing, controlling, achieving, acquiring.

There's nothing wrong with that path, it's just different from the path I walk, but hanging around a person on that road is like dragging a block of concrete.

So being cordial, greeting her in the market this morning, I learned she is still on a path to enlightenment, which I’m happy to know because one day she’ll wake up and realize verbal abuse and controlling behavior as not okay. What tells me of her continuing involvement in spiritual pursuits is she's registered for that same meditation retreat I just cancelled out of.

I felt like I’d dodged a bullet, because I get a lot more out of meditation sessions when surrounded by people walking at or near my same pace on the path -- those who are already awake, and high consciousness people who are ahead of us all and lift us further into enlightment, than I do when surrounded by people in the process of waking up.

So the fact the class was probably not going to go as high in consciousness as I need, this stage of life, is probably why cancellation came about, but I will order the session tapes.

Returning to the complex, I observed a line outside the dispensary across the street.

Residents have already investigated getting the place shut down, but were told by the police that it’s legal … it’s fenced … the business has met all the licensing requirements.

Everyone is lined up OUTSIDE the fence, but I don’t have a problem with the business. They’re not causing any more problems than we already have.

While I was snapping the above photo, the Seer walked up and we got into a conversation that ended with her repeating what another resident had said happened to them. That they’d tried to work with Nurse Ratched on a problem in their unit, had approached her respectfully, but the end result was the resident walking away declaring to others, “That woman lied. She’s a liar.”

ROFLMAO! That’s what I said in yesterday's post.