The more some things remain the same.
It’s been a while since I’ve venture out, so long that the jeep had to be towed by a pimped-out tow truck and battery replaced from having not been driven for weeks and weeks and weeks.
Emotional wreck that I was, having gotten through that inconvenience, finding myself able to handle contact with the tow truck driver and the dealership’s sales manager, I saw on this month’s activity calendar "Tuesday, March 17, Social: St. Patrick’s Day Paint and Sip, join neighbors in the Community Room for painting, festive snacks and refreshing beverages, 12:00- 1:30 pm".
Is there really going to be a paint and sip or is this another one of Kecia’s scams?thought I.
Do I dare try to get through a social?
You won’t know if you don’t try so baby steps .... not wearing green lipstick or the annual four-leaf clover top, I headed for the Community Room this morning.
Though I didn’t see Kesha or anything that looked like paint, canvasses, festive snacks or refreshing beverages, the handful of usual suspects I encountered said Kesha was on the premises. None had a clue about painting but said refreshing beverages was going to be juice.
To me, a refreshing beverage is coffee, but that's just me.
So, anyway, I stuck around/waited for about 20 minutes before deciding some things never change, that it was another scam and headed out to Starbucks, for a refreshing beverage.
At least I got to see the cute tree management set up in the lobby.
Dang. Management pulls the rug again. Welcome back. I saw so many beautiful articles about your daughter.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet Management wonders why there's not more participation from us residents. Don't seem to realize it's because they've fooled us too many times.
DeleteYou have often been in my thoughts Shirley. I hope it wasn't too expensive to get the jeep back on the road. I guess my definition of festive is much different than Keisha's.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, because I was barely holding myself together at the time, I let myself be exploited; ended up paying $295 for a 7-mile tow, and $1,993.62 at the dealership. The battery was only $338.62, but with only a little over 20,000 driving miles, and a lifetime warranty parts/repairs, the dealer came up with things outside the warranty that needed to be done because of the car’s 2018 age. Or so he said. I couldn’t focus, just said yes to whatever, and learned that even when distraught, one has to start the engine a couple times a week, move one’s mental/physical breakdown to the car, run the engine for a bit.
DeleteGlad to see you back online, Shirley! I had to get my car battery replaced too after my car sat unused for two months following my cataracts surgery in the fall. Annoying, but whaddya gonna do.
ReplyDelete"whaddya gonna do" my thoughts exactly.
DeleteI have been so concerned about you. I checked your blog every d ay and said a prayer for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the prayers.
DeleteBummer about the battery. Sounds like coffee with the politely quiet green tree was a good thing. Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteAt least it got me out of my unit, into a bit of fresh air and sunshine.
DeleteSo glad you are back. I have thought of you often.
ReplyDeleteNot sure I'm fully back, but thanks for thinking of me.
DeleteI’ll just say, Kesha sucks, and I am so so so happy to see you here. I have missed you and am sending you enormous hugs (but only with your permission).
ReplyDeletePermission granted.
DeleteI am so happy to see you back.
ReplyDeleteI've missed you.
I will just say Sorry for your loss and move on to Tales of the Complex: management doesn't change until you change them.
And I'd have gone out for coffee, too!
💗💖💖
It's good to be thought of and missed.
DeleteWelcome back, Miss Shirley. DJ in SE Ohio
ReplyDeleteDoubt I'm fully back, just trying to push through the trauma, keep on keeping on.
DeleteI checked your blog yesterday and today....here you are. Baby steps is a good choice. I'm happy to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being interested enough to check, Sandra.
DeleteMy heart rejoiced to see your post. I have missed you, and my heart has broken for you, and I am very happy to read your words.
ReplyDeleteI think you're the reader I've connected with the longest. You were with me since before that snafu caused rebranding, know me best, how I've overcome experiences. This one is tough. The Universe pushed the envelope in giving me not more than the Universe felt I could handle. Taking it one day at a time.
DeletePerhaps it has been a few years that we have been "hanging out" together! I lose track of time, and I am swept away when I think I've been retired for 16 years. These have been the fastest 16 years of my 73 year life!
DeleteI had read, again and again, here at your blog, about what your daughter was doing, but it had never penetrated into my life. Then, one day, there is an Instagram post, not yours, but someone I must know, with your daughter's picture and the news of her departure. WHAT!!! I was struck down. I came here to find you had left the message and closed up shop for awhile.
Then, the pictures and news just kept coming. Even though I wasn't in touch with YOU, I was certainly in touch with what was going on. Your baby girl was everywhere on social media. The messages about her work poured in from every corner. Then I saw her work being championed on news stations, and I realized that a few of these pieces were of news you had shared over the years, her accolades and her awards.
You have your own private pain, and I will not even attempt to know what that is like. The world, however, shares a small part of that grief. Your daughter made a huge contribution to this planet. Her life certainly matters.
Condolences on your great loss. But it's great to have you back. Enjoy your stories of real life.
ReplyDeleteThanks 💔 and thanks for enjoying the stories.
DeleteIt's nice to see you again. Baby steps.
ReplyDeleteMy sincerest condolences.
Thanks 💔
DeletePleased to see you back - you've been missed x
ReplyDeleteThanks. It's nice to hear I was missed.
DeleteGlad to see that you are back. Thinking of you and your family during this very tender time.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
Thanks, Will.
DeleteI was thrilled to see your name pop up in my reader. Grief is a funny thing. It starts out taking over your life full time, then gradually moves away to let other things in. Hang in there, and bring us all your stories of the dysfunctional apartment management.
ReplyDeleteGrief does begin to slowly move away but then creeps back in and takes over when you least expect it. It's aged me.
DeleteWelcome Back my Friend, been thinking about you a lot. Glad you are taking the Baby Steps to venture out again and Blog again. Yes, the more things change the more many are the same. Sorry the St. Paddy's Day Festivities were a sham. I didn't do anything for it, I did have a Green Alien on a colorful T-Shirt I wore, since, I forgot it even was St. Patrick's Day... I've been in a Fog since The Man's Emergency Heart Surgery, Hospitalization and slow Recovery... he's got to see another Cardiologist now who performed this Surgery, we liked Dr. Pham... Saved The Man's Life, he was Minutes from perishing this time! Close call, dodging another Bullet of Old Age and Failing Organs... it happens. Now he's also got to see a Kidney Specialist, so, more Organs wearing out... scary stuff. I've got New Caseworkers for The Young Prince, so that's going well. The Daughter had to be kicked out as she relapsed... it happens, longest she'd ever been Clean tho' so it was a disappointment. The Family haven't been handling the Stressors well tho', it's been a LOT. And as you know only too well Shirley, Life can just be a LOT to get thru, Cope with, and manage to keep on keeping on. I'm so glad you're moving forward as best you can my Friend... me too... we're a couple of tough old Broads as they used to say in the Old Movies. *LOL and Winks* Hugs... a sweaty one, it was gonna be 106 Today... already... 22 Degrees above Normal and already Heat Advisories... I'm concerned about Summer Temps at this rate!
ReplyDeleteWOW. You've been through a lot lately. Good to know The Man is hanging in there, sorry to hear about The Daughter. Funny you should say "life can just be a lot to get thru" because a recurring thought these past weeks has been "death is easy, living is hard" and I agree .... we are a couple of tough old broads.
DeleteI checked every day to see if you were back and am so happy that you are! It was a good idea to take a break, switch off comments for a while. You have really been through a terrible time. My weight ( at 5 ft 8) went down to 116 lb three years ago when my husband died, weight of a model but the face of a very distressed person. Some things we never get over, I guess we kind of heal around the scars. Anyway, delighted to welcome you back! JanF
ReplyDeleteI hear you about losing weight and face of a distressed person. I got sick as a dog, lost weight, gained that weight back and then some, I look older now, no energy, just walking a few steps, from one room to another, is exhausting and when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I don’t see the light I used to see, my aura has dimmed, I see a person who seems sad.
DeleteI am mostly a lurker here, but I do so enjoy your point of view and have missed you. Glad you have returned after your tragedy, and you are indeed a tough cookie to get through that. Prayers for your continued healing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the prayers, but nowhere near having gotten through it. Pretty much fluctuating between Denial and Depression.
DeleteI have been thinking of you and praying and checking your blog !!! My heart aches for the lost of your precious daughter. When one's heart is so hurt, the damage slowly heals, and scabs over. However the heart is never the same again, no matter how many years go by, it is forever changed. XOXOXO
ReplyDelete"Forever changed" pretty much sums it up.
DeleteI have been through some rough stuff in my lifetime, but nothing that can compare to the loss of your baby girl. She led an exceptional life.
ReplyDeleteI am in Canada, my life is nothing like yours, but I have been thinking of you every day since your announcement. It's good to see you take those first few baby steps.
XO
Linda
Thanks, Linda. It's not easy, but I'm trying.
DeleteI am glad to see you back. You have been missed and worried about by all of us out here in your blog-o-sphere. Sending my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. xoxox Roberta
ReplyDeleteThanks, Roberta 💔
DeleteIt's such a relief to see you posting again, Shirley! I've thought of you so often over these past few weeks and wondered if you're OK. While I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child, I do know that grief has no timetable. Sending you big virtual bunny hugs from Canada!
ReplyDeleteTB, thanks for the hug.
DeleteI am so glad you are back. I understand it takes time to recover. I really missed you. Praying you will continue to get better and stronger everyday.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have been missed.
DeleteSo glad to see you’ve returned Shirley. And that you’re coping as best you can. My heart broke for you when I saw your news. Your daughter helped many people and left a positive mark on our world, much more than the average person. As her mother you deserve part of the credit. Continue healing and know you have an army of people with you.
ReplyDelete"An army of people" ... I appreciate it.
DeleteHey Shirley, Maybe try a hot tub at a community center for some calmness, but a different kind of fresh air? Even sitting on the edge of my center's indoor pool is nice to smell the fresh humid air. Ok, maybe California doesn't have indoor hot tubs.
ReplyDeleteI hope Grace will hold you during your journey from losing a child. Your daughter accomplished a lot and was a beautiful being. I can't even imagine it.
When I was "recovering" from losing my first hubby when I was 29 years old, by golly, I was gonna go right through those steps, by the book and be done with it! The support group kind of realigned me into the reality of the rollercoaster. A song or somebody sounding like him would trip and thrash me around. I read something that really helped me: "It's not that you have to Get Over It; but you just have to learn how to live with it." That took a load off of my attempt to speed through grief. Goodness! Stay mellow like jello. Hugz, Linda in Kansas
Thanks, Linda. For sure I'll never get over it, and I will eventually have to learn to live with it. My best defense right now is to block it out, not allow myself to think, keep my mind occupied.
DeleteI'm glad to see you around posting again. Living in Las Vegas I had seen how your daughter had helped so many people here. I'm so very sorry for your loss. My heart broke for you. It takes a lot of time to get through a loss like that. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteTime is right. When friends reached out, asked if there was anything they could do for me, was there anything I needed, that was my reply ..... time, lots and lots and lots of time.
DeleteHave been missing you, so glad you are back. Its really tough but we are all thinking about you. Hugs, gigi
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gigi.
DeleteI am so overjoyed to see you pop up on my blog reader Sister Shirley!!!!! For some reason this post did not show up in my blog reader for some reason. I glad to read your doing well and you have my condolences. Be proud! I too went off to read some very high praise new articles about your daughter. She is going to be beyond missed. Love to you my friend.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mistress. It's tough, but I'm trying.
DeleteI'm so glad you're back!!! We've missed you so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jennifer
Delete