Ooey Gooey

Another weekend nearly gone and gone in a flash, most of the time eaten up in trying to resolve technical issues.

It took me all of Friday evening to set up the new printer, most of Saturday and Sunday trying to get the Smart App to recognize the new printer.

Evidently the app isn’t all that Smart because, though I did finally get it to print, I can’t get it to scan or copy.

I may have to call in the geek squad for a home visit.

In between technical issue, I did find time to make a run-down Route 66 to pick up fabric for what I hope is the last baby quilt, in this family, I will ever have to make, cause we don’t need to bring in any more people into this family or into this crazy world.

Walking out of the craft store, fabric in hand, I heard music and realized that, because it was Saturday, the Farmer’s Market was in progress, within walking distance.

Checking the event out, it was the same old same old — all kinds of cakes, cookies, drinks, scrumptious looking foods I can’t eat that I’d seen last time I visited, which I think was April of last year.

One new addition was a vendor offering free grow kits.

What a great idea, thought I, but I’ve got my hands full with the plants growing on the patio, don’t need any more, but it was fun watching the little kids learning all about plants, getting to dig in the dirt, plant seeds in a little pot.

I was wondering how the vendor made any money on this venture as, even if she wasn’t looking to make money, just educate the public, she still had to pay for the spot, but I didn’t take the time to ask or figure it out.

Today, Sunday, started off with giving scanning and copying one more try. After giving up on that happening without technical assistance, I gave up and finally got around to shampooing the carpet.

Hours later, deciding that, after the technical frustrations and the hard heavy-duty work of moving furniture around to shampoo the carpet, inasmuch as all the ingredients had arrived, I treated myself to my first ever S’more.

Ooey Gooey, a little messy, but delicious

First time I've ever used the broiler in all the years I've been living here.

While relaxing on the couch, drinking coffee, enjoying the two little S'mores, I saw someone off in the distance, quickly walking away down one of the walkways. As the person turned a corner, I got a good look at his profile, left side, and would swear it was my old buddy Apache.

Where could he have been coming from? Where could he have been walking to?

I'll have to ask around to see if it really was he I saw, rushing from and to, before management found out he was on the property.

Hump Day

Riding on a high, after the successful Memorial Day BBQ she spearheaded, Red Light is already planning for a 4th of July BBQ.

She’ll probably call on me for a flyer, hopefully not at the last minute but, just in case, I’ll be proactive — set up a template so all I’ll have to do is plug in the time.

Now embolden by residents thanking her for putting the BBQ together, thanking her for "all you do for the community", Red Light yesterday sent a group text urging residents to call Corporate, urge others to also call (she included the Corporate Office’s telephone number), put pressure on them to make the Community Room available to us on the 4th, so we won’t have to be in the sun.

Well good luck with that.

I don’t care, so I’ll have none of it.

I don’t think Corporate cares either, but we shall see.

Last Friday’s bingo game was rescheduled to today so, after this morning workout, I had to hightail it to the Community Room, grab my preferred seat before Hell on Wheels got to it first.

I won again. After which the room filled up quickly with the usual suspects and quite a few newbies so that, by the time HOW arrived, there was very little seating remaining. She managed to squeeze in at the kid table.

I say "kid table" because a regular, sitting at that table, brought her two cute little granddaughters.

HOW must not have been too pleased with where she had to sit because she left early.

Not only has bingo gotten so big that we were running out of space, we ran out of chips. Some had to use beans.

While digging through containers in the patio storage area last month (I forget what I was looking for), I ran across my old button jar.

Good thing I decided to not put the jar back into storage, because I can start using these buttons to cover my numbers in future, let everyone else hassle for chips, buy or bring their own.

After a long long long long dry spell and multiple times I only needed one number to win, I won the big one today — the Blackout Game where I got to pick from the table housing the more expensive items.

Not seeing anything I wanted, I chose something I needed from the regular table — dish washing clothes.

Not a bad end to the last day of the month.

By the way. Red Light did not text me a reminder to send her photos from the Memorial Day BBQ. I wasn't gonna anyway.

Now, I'm waiting to see if I get a reminder to send her today's bingo photos, which I will not. Instead, I'll ask why she needs them, what she does with them, why she can't pull from the website.

Memorial Day

I wasn’t ready, today came too soon, so the day was off to a slow start.

So slow that, by the time I stepped out of the tub, the clock was showing 10:32 AM already.

Holy Smokes! Where did the morning go?, thought I.

Needing to leave for the Pain Cave by 11:15, I had to rush painting my face and getting dressed in workout clothes.

Returning from the morning workout, I would have liked nothing better than to lay down on the couch, take a long nap but, detouring to pick up yesterday’s mail before I headed upstairs, I saw residents already setting up for the 3:00 barbeque.

No way, tired though I was, would I have missed a moment of the barbeque for multiple reasons.

One, I wanted to capture photos, start to finish, to post to the residents’ facebook page.

Two, I heard our Karen character had been invited and would be coming, bringing a dish.

Three and Four, I knew Karen’s Dream Lover — the guy she used to chase and send love notes to until he complained to the office about her stalking and harassing him, would be manning the grill so, I wanted to see how the two would interact. Would she chase after him again? Would he walk out when she walked in?

Five, I wanted to see how management would sabotage the event.

Today is management’s holiday off, which meant we had no access to the kitchen, would have to depend on the patio’s grill and what residents cooked up in their own kitchens, but I just had a feeling management would do something to make the grill unavailable to us — like once they didn’t clean the grill and another time the propane tank had been removed.

It was still early, so I went back/forth from my unit to check on progress of preparations, take photos as folks arrived.

Dream Lover didn’t appear to be having any problems with the grill, as the patio area began rapidly filling up and I snapped away capturing photos of attendees as they arrived.

I saw our former mean manager’s (Nurse Ratched) mom arrive.

That was a novelty as I’ve never seen her participate in any of our events before, not even when her horrible terrible daughter was managing the place. Seeing her up close, I was amazed at how much her daughter looks like her.

She probably didn’t feel it safe for her to join us back in the day, as so many hated her daughter. The two looking so much alike, she might have gotten caught up in a mistaken identity incident.

Even so, there was an incident I believe I blogged about.

She had to be moved from her downstairs unit to an upstairs after someone shattered her patio glass door by throwing a brick through it because, no doubt, it was revenge for something her daughter had done.

Once Corporate got rid of her daughter — not because she was terrible awful to us, but because they caught her embezzling, things cooled off, her mom moved back to that same downstairs unit and has been happily residing here ever since with no problems as no one has or had a beef with her, it was just her daughter.

Karen arrived. I thought I heard her say she’d brought a "stew". I wanted a photo of it, but didn’t see anything that looked like a stew when I took photos of the spread.

Once our Karen walked in, my head was on swivel from her to Dream Lover to capture the when Sally met Harry moment.

To add more drama, Dream Lover’s former girlfriend, now just a friend, was in attendance, sitting next to me and I’m sure she had her eyes on Karen as well.

Karen has been out and about lately, getting to know other residents so, she worked the patio, greeting those she knew and eventually made her way close to Dream Lover.

With his back to everyone, facing the grill, I don’t believe he noticed she’d entered the patio area until she positioned herself to stand at a table next to where he was.

She looked at him. He looked over, saw her, the grill spatula froze in midair.

If some bozo hadn’t stepped into the frame, I could have captured the moment, but I did see her smile at him give him a little wave, he waved back at her whereupon she took her hand and coyly flipped back some of her hair before turning away.

Is that a flirt movement? I’m not sure.

I later saw she had worked her way over to behind him at the grill. Then I caught them face to face.

Does Dream Lover look awkward to you, as though he’s puzzled or not much interested in what Karen has to say?

Dream Lover’s former girlfriend, now just a friend, must have seen the face-to-face interaction as well because, shortly after Karen walked away, the two of them (former girlfriend and Dream Lover) had their heads together.

My guess is former girlfriend was asking what Karen said. I couldn’t really read Dream Lover’s body language as to whether Karen had aggravated him or not, but former girlfriend was grinning the kind of grin I’ve seen when someone is being discussed and laughed at behind their back.

So, all the side dishes were on the table, people were just waiting for the burgers and hotdogs, THEN it happened.

The grill went out.

After Dream Lover and another guy inspected the grill, they declared it no longer functioning.

I read Dream Lover’s body language just fine that time … he was exasperated, fed up.

I don’t know if Karen started his exasperation and the grill going out was the last straw, but he sat down next to me and said "People are awful! People are just awful".

Story is, he'd asked management to fill up the tank in preparation for the event. Management said they would, but evidently lied, because the tank went dry.

"SABOTAGE! Just like when they tell us they’ve fixed a problem in our units, but then it’s still not fixed" said I.

That made him smile. He nodded affirmative on my take of SABOTAGE and high-fived me. His former girlfriend nodded and said, "Yes. I think so too".

No grill to finish the cook didn’t stop anything. A resident went to her unit, brought down the grill from her patio.

By then it was close to 4:00, my Judge Judy time, so I didn’t stay to see when hamburgers and hot dogs were served, but folks were already eating side dishes, so it was all good.

Long time reader Dkzody will remember these leggings I stitched up back in 2014, to wear at a 5K. Sadly/obviously, you can tell from today's photo that none of the inches I’ve lost has had a much-needed lessening of what I'm carrying north of the equator.

That Four Letter Word

I wish I could say this is a 3-day weekend for me. However, inasmuch as Trainer never takes a day off for holidays but instead keeps his AM appointments, then takes the afternoon off, looks like Monday 11:30 will be business as usual for me.

Feeling energetic after Friday’s workout, I had plans for this weekend, starting with steam cleaning the kitchen tile yesterday, as soon as I returned from the Pain Cave, shampooing the carpet today.

After the kitchen tiles were done, I headed out to use the little hand vacuum on the car in hopes of finding a eyebrow pencil I’d lost in the car, and the rubber tip to that walking cane which somehow had fallen off while in the car.

I found neither object but, as I stepped away from the car to head back upstairs, I saw one of the residents in another building had been watching me. Let’s call her "Lu".

Lu approached with a worried look on her face and asked if I was okay.

After saying "Yes, I was just cleaning out the car" she called me a four letter word I’ve not had spoken to me in more years than I can recall.

She said I was looking "thin", seemingly had lost weight overnight since she last saw me at bingo a few weeks ago.

I understood her concern because, when we see others around here suddenly losing weight, it’s generally a sign of illness.

So that’s why Painted Rock Lady was staring at me so strangely last time I saw her, thought I. PRL had stared intently at me without giving me her usual greeting, and I’d wondered what was up with her.

I didn’t know my recent weight loss was that noticeable, and it’s not like I was even trying to lose weight.

What happened was, my last blood test didn’t look good. My cholesterol and other numbers were so alarmingly high that I was shocked to still be alive. I’d been a dead woman walking, on the verge of a stroke or dropping dead.

Looking for a way to get the numbers down without medication, 37 days ago, I’d signed onto an app (MyFitnessPal) that made it easy for me to track not calories, but Carbs, Sodium, Sugar (CSS), and I began building meals around low glycemic foods and tracking my intake in the app so that I did not exceed my daily intake level.

Losing weight seems to be a byproduct of watching my numbers because, in those 37 days, I’ve lost 21 pounds and, as Lu said I was looking "thin", on the verge of being "too thin" she said, evidently I’m losing inches as well.

Though the carpet cleaner is out of storage, sitting across the room staring me in the face, the energy I felt yesterday is alluding me today, so maybe I’ll get around to that project tomorrow.

Today, I was off on a tangent due to having seen an episode of Food Network’s Summer Baking Challenge a few days ago that stayed with me.

The bakers were challenged with making smores and, as they baked, they spoke to the camera of how they grew up camping, making smores in the great outdoors and making smores while camping in the back yard or on the beach.

It occurred to me that I’ve never done either of those — camping or having eaten a smore, never even saw a smore up close and personal.

When I was dating the cop that I eventually married, I do recall his coming over one day to say "We’re going camping".

He’d spent something like $600 on camping equipment — tent, sleeping bags, clothing for me, and miscellaneous other stuff but, when I realized "camping" meant sleeping outdoors where there are bugs, insects, I wasn't down with it.

The only way he could have gotten me out camping was to rent one of those vans with a toilet and shower. I would have been willing to bend on the van being equipped with a television and kitchen, as I could have lived without a TV and a kitchen if HE did all the cooking over the fire pit.

Needless to say, we never went camping ………… ever.

As for smores — seeing the ingredients are all things I’ve eaten separately (graham cracker, chocolate, marshmallow) but not together, I became interesting in experiencing what the big deal was all about.

Before I’d gotten started on yesterday’s kitchen tile project, I first popped into the market for ingredients, but ran into a roadblock when I realized graham crackers and marshmallows had ingredients that would send my gut issues spiralizing out of control (whole wheat, modified food starch, high fructose corn syrup, soybean, et al.), so I began looking for gluten free ingredients, of which the market had none.

But at least the market was quiet.

For the last two weeks the market had been hosting two different charities. Nice gesture but did you have to shout WOO HOO!!!! every single time someone made a donation?

Being subjected to this every single time I popped into the market for two weeks straight was incredibly annoying, had me hearing WOO HOO!!!! in my head even when I wasn't in the market. Even caught myself yelling WOO HOO!!! out loud to myself, like a crazy woman, for no reason.

Just typing this out is bringing back the memory and I'm hearing WOO HOO!! right now.

It was a traumatizing two weeks.

So, anyway, not in the mood to run the carpet cleaner today, I instead checked two more markets for smore ingredients I could work with, and even drove to Wally World but, not able to find any gluten free graham crackers or marshmallows, looks like I’ll have to order everything online, fit smores into my CSS intake next weekend.

Like a Boss

It occurred to me yesterday that Red Light is rather bossy.

This epiphany is a delayed reaction to when, late Tuesday afternoon, she called to say she, Painted Rock Lady, Talker and a newer resident I’ve not yet assigned a name, are planning a Memorial Day Barbeque.

Okay?

"Can you make a flyer for us?"

Sure.

"How long do you think it will take you?"

Cue quite a lengthy pause as my mind processed what I knew she meant by "How long?"

Many years of working under unreasonable bosses has taught me what those words mean. Plus, based on instances with Red Light in the past, incidents I’ve overlooked, let slide, I knew she was expecting me to stop whatever I was doing and make the flyer NOW, putting pressure on me, giving me a deadline, get it done lickety split, speaking like a boss.

The first instance of showing herself to be impatient/pushy, was in the Community Room when they were serving hot dogs at the bingo break. I mentioned I don’t eat hot dogs, that I instead make carrot dogs.

She asked for the recipe.

Okay.

No sooner than I got back to my unit I get a text, "Did you forget to send me the recipe?"

Jesus F Christ!, thought I, but knocked the receipe out, sent it to her and, since she seemed to be in such a hurry, I asked a few days later how she liked the carrot dogs. She said she’d not made the them because she didn’t have all the ingredients.

Well, if you didn’t have all the ingredients — which I’d told you when you initially asked what a carrot dog was what the ingredients are, then why the rush for the recipe?

To date, I don’t believe she ever made them.

Then there was the time when the Baker and I restarted the residents facebook page and I began adding photos taken at bingo.

Red Light asked that I also send her the photos.

What she does with them I have no idea, don’t care but, not only did she ask me to send her what photos I’d taken, but followed through with "Don’t forget to send me the photos" as soon as I got back to my unit and continued to do so thereafter if she didn’t immediately get the photos until I began getting photos to her a priority — sometimes sending while still in the bingo room taking photos, just to get her off my back.

So there I was on Tuesday being asked how long it would take me to bang out a flyer and, looking out the patio window as Red Light was on the phone with me making the request, I saw she and the other ladies were standing around downstairs, looking up at my unit.

Thank the Lord I’m upstairs and most of them can’t climb stairs, thought I. Otherwise, I’d have had this HOA looking group of white ladies knocking at my door, barging in, hovering over me until the flyer was done.

At any rate, I thought fast, threw a decent looking flyer together, got dressed and walked it down to them.

It took me about half an hour to compose, design, print, with their mulling around downstairs the whole entire time.

In their hands, hot off the press, they scattered to post the flyers in strategic places, and walk around handing out.

In a way it’s nice that the group thought of me as capable of getting the job done and I don’t mind helping the ladies out but Damn! — short notice AND pressure.

Red Light can grate on one’s nerves, which is probably why she and Talker are no longer BFF’s, and I don’t have near as much contact with her as Talker did and I’m beginning to feel annoyed.

At any rate, I’ve put up long enough with how impatient and pushy and bossy Red Light has been. I’ll be putting the brakes on playing by her rules, starting with taking my own sweet time in getting bingo photos to her.

Red Light is not the boss of me.

Nam Myoko Renge Kyo