Recap

"I’ve been married for 52 years", said Hoochie Mama who was sitting next to me at today's Celebration of Life.

Hoochie Mama is the resident who moved in 2019 and quickly earned herself a reputation of being desperate because she’s so aggressively came onto the men, made a not PG-rated cupcake at a decorating event, couldn’t have a conversation without mentioning that three-letter word that starts with s and ends with x; and, more recently, came to an event as a moocher, tried to cut in line and, once in line, began grabbing chicken, eating it as she moved through the line grabbing at the other food.

Her behavior was disgusting, embarrassing and discussed at length by everyone who saw it, prompting me to provide the Baker with meal tickets for future events.

So, anyway … Impressed at 52 years, I said, "I don’t know how you guys can do that ─ Stick with one person year after year. I couldn’t stand being in a committed relationship for more than 6 months".

Then she held up 5 fingers, saying 52 years with 5 different husbands.

Laughing, I said, "It doesn’t work that way. You can't total them up". Whereupon she got a little miffed, said, "It does for me!".

Okay. Whatever. My instincts were right when I saw her walk through the door and heard myself say to myself, "OH NOOOOOO!".

Then, when her eyes landed on me, it was "NOOOOOOOO" again.

When she walked over, placed her hand on the back of the chair to my right, asked if it was okay to sit, I just kinda shrugged my shoulder while in my head I heard myself say, "It’s okay to sit anywhere but here".

She sat.

I was reluctantly polite when she engaged me in conversation, but I shut down after she got miffed over "It doesn’t work that way".

Fortunately, I saw Hell on Wheels (HOW) at the door. She was being escorted in by her daughter and her daughter’s drop-dead handsome hunk of burning love boyfriend, who had all of us ladies breaking our necks to get a good look at him.

They located HOW at the other end of the table where I was seated, to my left. So, I slid down to the seat nearest HOW, leaving two seats open between myself and Hoochie Mama.

Hoochie Mama noticed, seemed to know I wanted away from her, let out a little laugh about it.

I was really surprised to see HOW, especially since she was sitting upright in a wheelchair after being told she’d be bedridden for like the rest of her life.

She said she’d been through it but was "tough". Then she looked at me and said, "You’re tough too".

Interesting that, having not seen me in a couple years, while she was in care facilities, bedridden in her unit surrounded by nurses, and then in and out of the hospital, that she could look at me and see something that made her say that.

Anyway, Hoochie Mama was forgotten by me and HOW and I had a pleasant conversation about what’s been going on around the complex.

Just before the speeches began, and a slideshow was shown of the life of the Baker’s husband (They'd been married 40 years), HOW’s daughter and her drop-dead handsome hunk of burning love boyfriend sat in the two seat that were open between myself and Hoochie Mama, with the boyfriend, lucky for me … or so I thought, sitting right next to me.

He generated nothing, no heat, no aura. I felt no sense of anything. He felt empty and, when he spoke/commented on anything being said by speakers, his vocabulary seemed limited to "That’s awesome". He told a passing woman wearing Frankenstein earrings, "I like your earrings; they're awesome". Then, when clapping was done, he went overboard … big arms overhead, big hands coming together slow and loud.

I wrote him off as an empty vessel, a big dumb, clumsy oaf, delicious to look at but good for one thing.

I’ll leave it up to you readers to figure out what that one thing is.

Di was in the room.

I guess management lifted the ban, allowed her to enter the Community Room, attend the Celebration of Life.

At the end of the slideshow, it was announced the show would be on loop, everyone was invited to eat. So, once people started getting out of their seats, moving, lining up, I took it as my opportunity to do as Bob suggested, pull an Irish Exit and did.

The hardest part of the Celebration for me was when I first walked in, the Baker walked up to me, I hugged her and asked how she was doing. If she had fallen apart at that time, I would have done likewise; but she said she was "Okay, for now" and actually seemed to be.

In fact, during the entire Celebration of Life, the Baker seemed the one to handle it best, even said that the activities she spearheaded would continue.

Talker and Crafty Lady told her not to worry, that they had her back. That she should take it easy and they would continue the activities for her.

I know she can count on Talker. I’m not so sure about Crafty Lady as she’s prone to start/stop, have heart palpitations, a swollen knee.

Do I sound snarky … bitchy? Probably because, though I maintained during the Celebration of Life, I came home with a migraine and I don’t get migraines.

I don’t know if I picked up something from the big dumb oaf or Hoochie Mama.

Endings

Yesterday’s crafts session was, once again, cancelled. Last time, it was heart palpitations. This time it was a swollen knee, with Crafty Lady saying she has doctor appointments scheduled for the remaining Wednesdays of this month.

She said she’ll let us know if she decides to switch to another day, but I sense she’s losing interest in hosting the class and, truth be told, by the time she decides what she wants to do and when, I probably will have lost interest, found something else to do with my time.

Hearing a knock knock on the door just after noon today, I took a look through the kitchen window, found Head Maintenance Guy standing there.

Opening the door, I blurted out "Don’t tell me there’s a surprise inspection".

He didn’t smile.

With a serious look on his face, he handed me two pieces of paper – one an envelope, which he said had already been attached to my door.

Because he looked so serious, I opened the envelope and found an "In Loving Memory Of" card, gasped and teared up as Head Maintenance Guy said, the Baker’s 88-year-old husband had passed and, instead of Bingo Friday, there will be a service in the Community Room tomorrow at noon.

Since Head Maintenance Guy said the envelope had already been attached to my door, before he came up with his Notice, I checked the camera and saw the Baker’s daughter had brought it upstairs the day before, the 7th, at 10 o’clock.

Inasmuch as I’ve been housebound to escape the heat, if Head Maintenance Guy hadn’t had his Notice to deliver and had he not knocked on my door to let me know of the card having been attached, there’s a good chance I’d not have opened the door today or tomorrow, would have missed the service.

Actually, I would have preferred to have missed the service because I really don’t want to go. I empath and it’s going to be an emotional event that I’m already feeling, am working hard to maintain.

Considering what happened earlier this year, I don’t think I can handle it. However, being close to the Baker, her granddaughter, my not attending would be clocked. So, I’m going to have to at least make an appearance, show my respect without associating it with what happened earlier this year, try not to let the room full of grief get inside me … end up falling apart.

I don’t see the Baker recovering from this loss. Maybe she'll leave the community, move in with family, maybe stay in the community but be forever changed … because I now know from experience that a loss like that does change one.

Inasmuch as the Baker is the Cheer Captain around here – the one spearheading bingo and events, with the rest of us as supporting characters … me doing the flyers, taking pics, others cooking, setting up, providing prizes, whatever she needs doing, the bell is probably going to ring on Bingo Friday and future events.

It’s going to be very sad and very boring around here for a while. I may have to start popping into Kesha Tuesdays for tea.

What Head Maintenance Guy had come to my door to post was a Notice indicating "Annual Certification Letter, First Notice". The paperwork I’m required to submit, proving that I’m still poor enough to continue living here.

My last recertification was just this past January … we’re only in October, so it’s way soon for another round.

Some of you might recall I blogged about my getting through that last recertification by the hair of my chinny chin chin, because they added up what I had coming in monthly through sources of income, THEN they added to that what was in my savings account AND my checking account, essentially adding the same money twice, which made me look well off. Plus, because the automatic bill payments for rent, utilities, etc., had not yet been processed, my bank accounts had been flush with cash. Once the Assistant Manager totaled everything up, I came across as a rich b!tch and qualified by the hair of my chinny chin chin … less than a hundred dollars under the cap.

I’ll have to make sure not to recertify this time until payments have processed, brought the accounts down to reflect reality and for sure not until closer to January, even though the notice says "I strongly urge you to not put this off".

Me thinks that, now that office staff no longer accepts checks and money orders for rent, everything now goes through Rent Café, they probably don’t have enough to keep them busy, so are creating work to do.

At any rate, we’re supposedly having a Residents/Management meeting on the 20th. I’ll ask should I ignore this early notice and recertify in January per usual or not.

Keep it Simple

Other than the three days of doable outdoor walking weather early last week, it’s been a steady climb and excessive heat warnings.

Summer just won’t let go, so I’ve been pretty much housebound, A/C running 24/7.

News did reach me about an incident in broad daylight about some random guy walking behind one of the old ladies, pushing her down, running off with her purse.

It’s unknown to me if he followed her in from outside the complex, or whether he was already inside waiting for an opportunity to victimize, but I was interested in seeing how management was going to warn residents this could happen here or if they were going to address it at all.

They kinda sorta did address it in wording on this month’s Activity Calendar, issued yesterday … "Safety Reminder: Please be aware of your surroundings and help us keep our community safe. Please keep all pedestrian gates closed at all times. Do not open the gates or provide access to anyone you do not know. If you see suspicious activity or someone attempting to enter without authorization, please contact the appropriate authorities".

I’m assuming "appropriate authorities" to mean don’t bother the office or maintenance guys, call the cops.

So, anyway, more reasons – besides the oppressive heat, to limit walking to the indoor walking pad rather than the great outdoors.

Speaking of which, manager of the indoor walking gym stocked the coffee bar with chocolate muffins yesterday, but made them healthy by adding chopped walnuts.

The resident organizers had me design/print, and they’ve already distributed and posted, flyers for this month’s Bingo Days, plus a Halloween Party on Friday, October 30.

THEN, I find included in this month’s Activity Calendar, a flyer indicating management is hosting a Halloween Costume Party, Friday, October 30.

I’m assuming the two groups will combine their efforts

As you all know by now, I love cosplay and, at the end of Halloween last year, when it seemed I kept running into people who wanted to unload their problems onto my listening ears, I came up with a great idea for this year’s costume that I kept to myself at the time.

That idea was to wear blue leggings, a blue top, walk around with a sign indicating “Psychiatric Help 5¢ … The Doctor is In” ala Peanuts character Lucy Van Pelt.

A lot has happened since last year. I am no longer pumped -- not even Skelly is bringing me the joy it once did. Besides, based on past cosplay around here, clever costumes are lost on this audience. So, if I cosplay at all, I'll keep it simple with my regular skeleton leggings or the red/white Minnie Mouse leggings and Disneyland ears.

She Ready

The front door is not the Headless Horseman used last year/year before. Instead, when a doormat popped into my feed that made me laugh out loud, I switched from that, which terrorized my previous neighbor …………

To this …………

"Not all Witches live in Salem" is not as terrifying as the Headless Horseman but nevertheless might give my new White-Haired Neighbor some pause ………… cause her to think twice about who she’s living next door to, LOL.

Crafty Lady gifted me with Halloween window stickers she found when clearing out her storage facility in Murietta. So, I used them in the bedroom window.

I hope more neighbors get with the program, because I love walking around seeing patios and doors decorated for Halloween and Christmas.

PIVOT!

Today's crafts session was cancelled due to Crafty Lady having heart palpitations.

She's been having heart problems for a while and, back in April had an operation … something about putting a watchman in her chest.

Her heart problems have not gone away but, so long as she takes it easy, its somewhat manageable. Only she’s not been taking it easy lately.

I saw, a few days ago on her facebook page, that she was working on cleaning crafting supplies from storage she has in Murietta and, just yesterday, also as seen on facebook, she was working on putting together a dresser, rearranged a room for more space, hung an extra curtain panel, so no surprise that today she’s having heart palpitations and her body hurts.

She’s got to be more mindful of her condition … what she can and should not be doing because she can’t die before I do as she’s one of the three points of contact set up to contact granddaughter and Twin 2 when I die.

I wasn’t intending her to be a point of contact, but you might recall when some of the organizers had finished their craft projects, were off planning what to do for the seniors come Thanksgiving, Crafty Lady found out they were doing something with her not in it, got upset, said "I guess I’m not invited to that!".

No matter what she's doing, others are not allowed to leave her out of what they are doing.

There was also the time when Talker and another resident were having a conversation on the opposite side of the Community Room, while Crafty Lady was busy doing something else. However, because she (Crafty Lady) wasn’t included in their conversation, she accused them of talking about her.

All to say she invited herself to be a point of contact for my family.

How that came about was I awoke July 31 from a dream where I was attending one of our events, stopped by a round table … We don't have round tables in the community room. Some tables are square, others are rectangular, so I don't know what that meant inside the dream, but there I was stopping at a round table where was seated Meat Man and a woman I did not recognize.

After chatting with them for a bit, I bid them goodbye, saying "I'll see you at this event next year". Then I heard myself correct myself saying, "Oh, wait. I won’t be here this time next year".

A clear indication to me that I’ll be dead before July 2027.

I took the dream in stride, began making preparations, starting with updating my family contacts sheet with the office and cancelling my eye appointment for new glasses, because it wasn't worth the expenditure. I do need new glasses, but it's not worth it if I only have a year or less to go.

I later that day was in the Community Room filling out the form for the office, telling Talker and the Baker of the dream, that I was giving them a copy of the form/adding them as neighbors allowed to enter my unit, giving a key to the Baker, asking that if I suddenly go missing, not seen for a time, please check to see if I’m still breathing, contact family if not and Crafty Lady blurted out, "Add me to that".

I couldn’t very well say no and really, since she long ago got over that thing she had for me, which made me uncomfortable, I find her to be okay and the one with the most family, friends, resources to be helpful to granddaughter and Twin 2.

So, now that she’s factored into the equation, she can’t go before I do.

I also, at that time, sent Twin 2 and granddaughter a copy of the form with instructions to trust Talker, the Baker, Crafty Lady, but avoid our MAGA neighbor at all costs, LOL.

Now that Meat Man himself has surprised me by moving out of the complex, I’m not sure if that throws a monkey wrench into what the dream told me. It said I would not be here that time next year, not that he would not be here that time next year.

Now that he won’t be here that time next year, I’ll just have to wait and see if the dream still holds true for myself.

So, anyway, with crafts cancelled today, no tutu for Skelly, I pivoted to thinking about that grass skirt I made and wore at the Resident’s End of Summer Event.

Skelly and I aren’t the same size, but I figured I could make it work; began looking through my crafts stash for shells I knew I could probably turn into a Hawaiian lei.

Lo and behold, I found blue tulle fabric I didn't know I had or why I had it.

I worked a little magic with it and Skelly is just about ready for tomorrow's debut on the patio.

The Problem With That Is

The month of Halloween is two days away. That’s close enough for me, so I yesterday began hauling Halloween out of the storage area.

Because Crafty Lady wants to glean her supplies of pink and violet tulle fabric, her plan for tomorrow’s crafts is tutus.

Though I’ve made and worn countless tutus, when I was doing 5Ks, I don’t know that these old ladies would be interested in making a tutu or that their fingers can handle threading tulle through tiny holes in fabric ribbon, the push pull twisting tightening. I know my own fingers struggled at times, needed a rest, when I was making that grass skirt, but I’m down for a tutu as Skelly’s Halloween costume this year.

Having pulled Skelly from storage, my intent was to take his waist measurement, so I’d know how much fabric ribbon to cut and form into a loop.

The problem with that is, Skelly doesn’t have a waist. I'd forgotten …… he's all bones.

If Crafty Lady follows through with tutus tomorrow, I’ll think of something – probably not in a loop but more a wrap around and, if she doesn’t do tutus tomorrow, I’ll come up with something else for Skelly this year.

Believe it or not, we had Thunderstorm warnings yesterday. Nothing came to fruition, but whatever was going on with the weather made for manageable outdoor walking – cool with a breeze.

I had been thinking I’d be the only one anxious enough for the month of Halloween to begin, but saw there’s a neighbor even more anxious than I.

I also noticed management, after having made my White-Haired Neighbor remove her tea lights from the railing, under the rule that nothing is to be attached, has not been enforcing that rule across the board.

Lights attached to rail

I guess this neighbor below thought it pretty/decorative to have woven this monstrosity onto the bars of the rail.

WTF …… it's attached

Elsewhere is a fascinating old style windmill this neighbor managed to source.

A funny thing happened when I popped into the corner market on Monday for eggs.

Refrigerated items like eggs, butter, etc. are towards a rear area of the market next to an opening for workers to enter/exit pushing cartloads of dairy supplies and a spot over against the wall for products being sold at a discount.

Just outside the opening, across from the eggs, is a rack of sweets, like hand pies.

As I pushed my cart past the hand pies towards the eggs, a regular looking guy was in the area of the opening, talking to himself, like he was trying to decide on checking out the discounted items just inside the opening, then seemed to have gotten distracted by the pies …… picking up one, making what seemed to be spontaneous out loud utterances about them. I recall hearing "Ummm …… Apple", but couldn’t make out whatever else utterances he was making.

I didn’t think he was crazy. He seemed glazed over, so I thought he was high.

So, anyway, he wasn’t in my way. I grabbed eggs, checked the date on the carton, turned around to head out of the area when he, evidently having passed on the pies and instead had entered the reduced products section was coming out. He didn’t run into me because I held back, let him pass and, when he passed, his glazed eyes took me in and, with that same faraway here but not here look he had on his face when he made spontaneous utterances about the pies, he uttered out loud, "Ummm, nice tits".

Thing is, I'd recently purchased a brand-new bra …… was trying out a support, rather than the minimizer I usually buy. Having just received the support the day before, this was my first time wearing it to decide if I liked support over minimizing.

"Nice tits" pretty much sealed the deal. I've ordered two more in different colors, LOL.