Yesterday’s crafts session was, once again, cancelled. Last time, it was heart palpitations. This time it was a swollen knee, with Crafty Lady saying she has doctor appointments scheduled for the remaining Wednesdays of this month.
She said she’ll let us know if she decides to switch to another day, but I sense she’s losing interest in hosting the class and, truth be told, by the time she decides what she wants to do and when, I probably will have lost interest, found something else to do with my time.
Hearing a knock knock on the door just after noon today, I took a look through the kitchen window, found Head Maintenance Guy standing there.
Opening the door, I blurted out "Don’t tell me there’s a surprise inspection".
He didn’t smile.
With a serious look on his face, he handed me two pieces of paper – one an envelope, which he said had already been attached to my door.
Because he looked so serious, I opened the envelope and found an "In Loving Memory Of" card, gasped and teared up as Head Maintenance Guy said, the Baker’s 88-year-old husband had passed and, instead of Bingo Friday, there will be a service in the Community Room tomorrow at noon.
Since Head Maintenance Guy said the envelope had already been attached to my door, before he came up with his Notice, I checked the camera and saw the Baker’s daughter had brought it upstairs the day before, the 7th, at 10 o’clock.
Inasmuch as I’ve been housebound to escape the heat, if Head Maintenance Guy hadn’t had his Notice to deliver and had he not knocked on my door to let me know of the card having been attached, there’s a good chance I’d not have opened the door today or tomorrow, would have missed the service.
Actually, I would have preferred to have missed the service because I really don’t want to go. I empath and it’s going to be an emotional event that I’m already feeling, am working hard to maintain.
Considering what happened earlier this year, I don’t think I can handle it. However, being close to the Baker, her granddaughter, my not attending would be clocked. So, I’m going to have to at least make an appearance, show my respect without associating it with what happened earlier this year, try not to let the room full of grief get inside me … end up falling apart.
I don’t see the Baker recovering from this loss. Maybe she'll leave the community, move in with family, maybe stay in the community but be forever changed … because I now know from experience that a loss like that does change one.
Inasmuch as the Baker is the Cheer Captain around here – the one spearheading bingo and events, with the rest of us as supporting characters … me doing the flyers, taking pics, others cooking, setting up, providing prizes, whatever she needs doing, the bell is probably going to ring on Bingo Friday and future events.
It’s going to be very sad and very boring around here for a while. I may have to start popping into Kesha Tuesdays for tea.
What Head Maintenance Guy had come to my door to post was a Notice indicating "Annual Certification Letter, First Notice". The paperwork I’m required to submit, proving that I’m still poor enough to continue living here.
My last recertification was just this past January … we’re only in October, so it’s way soon for another round.
Some of you might recall I blogged about my getting through that last recertification by the hair of my chinny chin chin, because they added up what I had coming in monthly through sources of income, THEN they added to that what was in my savings account AND my checking account, essentially adding the same money twice, which made me look well off. Plus, because the automatic bill payments for rent, utilities, etc., had not yet been processed, my bank accounts had been flush with cash. Once the Assistant Manager totaled everything up, I came across as a rich b!tch and qualified by the hair of my chinny chin chin … less than a hundred dollars under the cap.
I’ll have to make sure not to recertify this time until payments have processed, brought the accounts down to reflect reality and for sure not until closer to January, even though the notice says "I strongly urge you to not put this off".
Me thinks that, now that office staff no longer accepts checks and money orders for rent, everything now goes through Rent Café, they probably don’t have enough to keep them busy, so are creating work to do.
At any rate, we’re supposedly having a Residents/Management meeting on the 20th. I’ll ask should I ignore this early notice and recertify in January per usual or not.
Oh dear, sad news about Baker's husband. Yes, the service will be hard for you, I'm sure, after your own tragedy of losing your daughter. You are a good friend to Baker to comfort her in her time of need.
ReplyDeleteSad indeed. They'd been married for decades and still in love/ embarrassingly affectionate with each other.
DeleteI'd just tell them that you recertify once per year and October is less than a year from the last time so it's not a fair assessment. Though maybe they are asking early because some people recertified late last year?
ReplyDeleteOr they just want to annoy the residents.
Sorry for the Baker's loss but you should go to pay respects and do the Irish Goodbye.
I had to look up Irish Goodbye, also known as Irish Exit, I learned. Sounds good. I'll sit in the very back, near a door, so I can slip away.
DeleteI have to say what you already know…their certification metrics are nonsensical. The amount of money in the bank is in reserve for future expenses that haven't been billed yet! I would subtract any anticipated expenses that you are reserving money for, say…next month’s rent medical & dental bills, Jeep tires, eventual funeral expenses, etc etc. Do they require a copy of a current bank statement? I would definitely adjust my numbers before filling out their form.
ReplyDeleteThey get all up in our personal business by absolutely requiring a current bank statement, plus paper verification of where every dollar is coming from under penalty of perjury, so we dare not withhold anything. The process is a headache.
DeleteI guess they figured that most people would open their front door to see something stuck to it, but in my world some additional type of notification would have been nice.
ReplyDeleteA knock on the door when the card was delivered would have been helpful, but daughter was walking around in the heat, climbed stairs, grieving loss of her dad, could not have known I can go on lockdown for days.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear about the loss of Baker's husband. I'm sure it will change her life in big ways and organizing activities will not be at the top of her list. And I understand Crafty Lady becoming tired of organizing the crafts, too. Maybe Miss Keisha needs to take over and do something besides purchasing chips.
ReplyDeleteI wish you strength to get through the memorial. I know it will be hard.
When we applied for student loans for our kids, the counselor told us to pay all of our bills, monitor our accounts and be sure to date the application on the date of our lowest bank balance of the month. Ridiculous to have to use tricks when they can easily see you spend your income, but there we are.
Seems I'd better start doing that .... monitoring accounts, note date of lowest bank balance and yes, Kesha is the Activity Director, it's her job .. not the job of residents to create activities for themselves and others.
DeleteSorry for the loss your community is experiencing right now. I find that's one of the hardest parts about living in a senior facility---all the funerals and ambulances hauling people away. I try not to go to all the memory services that are on my campus unless the deceased was a friend and not just a neighbor.
ReplyDeleteThis is the very first time a resident has been so honored with a service in the Community Room. The Baker's husband was a popular figure on the complex by virtue of having the great fortune to have married the Baker. I believe this service is out of respect, on the part of management and residents, not for him per se but out of respect for the Baker.
DeleteRe-Certifications are always a pain in the Ass. Princess T looks seriously Wealthy since she can Save her Money well and not spend recklessly just coz she has it... but, Truth is, she's existing on a Minimum Wage Job with mostly Part Time Hours and no Benefits... if she didn't still live with Grandparents she would likely be a 21 Year Old Homeless Person and not be able to retain the meager Job... same with The Son. But, due to her Checking Account LOOKING so impressive she wouldn't qualify for squat and has difficulty having Medicaid renewed and she has Chronic Health Issues so basically is uninsurable. Sorry to hear of Baker's Loss, a lot of long time Spouses don't last long whenever the other one Crosses Over, they just give up the Will to Live and the Transition to Widowhood is too much for them. Life does change in huge ways whenever we experiences Loss that is profound. It would be less convenient, but putting most Funds in a Safety Deposit Box and issuing Money Orders for Bills might have to be a Solution if it gets too risky to Certify due to the ridiculous way they calculate Qualifying Factors, when the Ends actually barely meet after Expenses do clear the Bank.
ReplyDeleteThe Baker has to have someone to care for ... it's in her nature to take care of people and she had taken care of her husband Hank, who had multiple problems as he aged. So, "Spouses don't last long whenever the other one Crosses Over" is what I fear. Hank was her second husband. The first was a brute like my ex and, when she divorced the brute, his friend Hank wooed and won the Baker. He seemed a lot of work to me, but they've been deliriously happy together. I wouldn't be at all surprised if some of the old geezers around here didn't pursue the Baker, try to fill Hank's shoes. But caretaker type that she is, I don't think she'd want anyone after Hank, because he was so good and perfect for her.
DeleteHaving lost a husband when I was 29, I reserve the right to avoid most funerals. Those who know, understand. Take care of you first. You could always pop in, sign the attendee book and leave. Baker won't remember who came or not. You can be of more assistance down the road to check in on her, take a coffee and roll. She'll find her way, but being so outward, I bet she finds her new path to still taking care of others. Hang in there. Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteI did good. Whenever anyone began crying or choked up when speaking, I sent myself someplace far away by looking down, staring at and focusing on the floor.
DeleteOh no, that's very sad about Baker's husband.
ReplyDeleteYou would think that they would want you to recertify when it's actually time to do it.
That would be logical. If they're going to start bothering us at 9-months, they might as well just go with what's already on file and call it a day.
Delete