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Grey Gardens

Though it looks like it’s going to be a page turner, I’ve not yet had time to get into The Faun of Grey Gardens. However, the thought did occur to me we’ve got our own little Grey Gardens here on the complex.

Don’t know why I didn’t see the correlation between the two Edies before, and characters I’ve blogged about who have come and gone, the current Black Witch, R who won the Halloween Costume Contest dressed as a witch, and who doesn’t like children being in the Community Room, not to mention the Smoker.

What brought about the epiphany was when Red Light telephoned me last night to say her next door neighbor — the Smoker, had vandalized her door.

Story is that Red Light, awake for some reason and sitting in her front room at 3:00 a.m., lights off, heard a rustling noise at her door.

Afraid someone might be breaking in, she peered through the peep hole and saw Smoker.

Why Red Light didn’t make a noise, like bang on the door to scare Smoker away, I do not know. What she said she did was to wait until she heard Smoker go back into her own unit, then open the door to see what Smoker had been doing.

Smoker had ripped apart the Christmas Wreath on Red Light’s Door — a wreath that Red Light had herself made, even attached a little red Christmas wagon.

She said pieces of the wreath were spread out all over the concrete outside the door, and the red wagon was gone — Smoker took it.

After Red Light paused her story long enough for me to finish laughing my arse off, she went on to say she’d call Security, but no one showed or seemed to care. Likewise, when she reported the incident to the office — they said, "We’ll look into it", which Red Light said that’s what they always say and nothing happens.

Red Light toyed with the idea of making a police report, because vandalism is vandalism, but she’s afraid the cops will laugh at her.

She’s probably right.

Asking what I would do, I said "Well No. 1, I’m happy to know Smoker finally went outside. No. 2, I’d play the game with Smoker — put up another wreath, sit/sleep by the door and wait. If I heard her vandalizing that one, I’d quickly open the door and pepper spray her arse. If you don't have pepper spray any old household spray will do."

Of course, she won't do that. I believe she enjoys playing the helpless victim.

At any rate, I can’t stop laughing at what Smoker did.

As for WHY she did it, Red Light is surmising someone has yet again complained about the smoking and cigarette smoke seeping into the complainer’s unit.

"I only complained about her that one time Shirley", said Red Light but she thinks Smoker thinks all the complaints are coming from her, and destroying the wreath is revenge.

So many crazies/witches in my life story and here in our own little Grey Gardens. Hard to determine which witch the song (Ding dong the witch is dead) is referring to.

I'm afraid I'll be having flashbacks and giggling over this episode of our little Grey Gardens every time I think about it.

On another note, I've cancelled consulting with the holistic dentist 12 noon Monday, because the all-female dentist will see me 2:00 Tuesday. If there's a cancellation on Monday, she'll see me then.

Also, my girls turn 55 today.

A lot of people change so much as they age that they no longer resemble photos taken in early years.

I think my girls still look as they did when babies and, interesting enough, in most photos I've noticed they position themselves just as they did when babies — Twin 1 positioned to the right, Twin 2 to the left.

Funny You Should Ask

Finally had a good night’s sleep. Slept all the way through and woke up with a song in my head that I can’t shake — Ding Dong the Witch is Dead.

Right away I’m thinking of Henrietta, Jane, Joyce — the three witches that made my working life so traumatic years ago.

None of the three are popping up on Legacy’s obituary site. Too soon maybe?

The song is still in my head, so hopefully which witch is which will be made known to me somehow some way.

Of course, there’s the Black Witch — the resident who tried to bully me, called me the B word at bingo.

She’s done no damage, is not important enough for a song to be in my head but, if by chance the song is about her, I’ll know soon enough.

There was a ping on the phone at 8:21 this morning. It was a message from the dental office — "Thank you for being a patient. We would really like your feedback. Rate your experience with us here and we’ll enter your name into our raffle to win a $200 gift card".

How’s that for timing.

The plan was to hold off firing the dental office until AFTER I’d found a new dentist, hopefully before January 19 — the date scheduled for me to return for the necessary crown and additional unnecessary work they’d planned to scam me for.

Cats out of the bag now because my reply was — "Funny you should ask, as I’m currently in the process of seeking dental care elsewhere".

As of today, I have two options, both with great reviews and both who appear to focus on quality care, rather than quantity.

In retrospect, I think that’s why so many dentists are scammers. With these dental conglomerates that have offices in many locations, there is the need for each dentist in each location to earn his spot, bring in as much money as he can. Whereas, with the two I’m looking at, they’ve been in business for many years, same location with focus not on becoming bigger and better, expanding, but maintaining patient loyalty.

No. 1 is an all-female dental office. No. 2 is a "holistic" dentist.

Needing a crown ASAP, the all-female office is problematic as they are on holiday until Monday, January 2nd.

The holistic dentists is reading as expensive, but can schedule me for a consultation Tuesday, January 3rd.

The deciding factor will be if I hear from the all-female dental office on Monday and how soon they can schedule me for consultation and the crown work as compared to how soon the holistic dentist can do the work.

No one won the Mega Million last night, so here we go again with my feeling compelled to take my chances until someone finally wins.

I had invested $10 in last night’s drawing, won $4 back. The pot is up to $640 milliion now, so I’ll be purchasing more tickets after this morning’s workout.

Can’t win if you don’t play.

Pizza Tuesday

Thinking less and less about family members not getting along with each other — it is what it is, and feeling better about the dental situation — I’ve decided to fire the current dentist as soon as I find another dental office, I was close enough to being back on center yesterday that it was back to baking shows — starting with The Kids Baking Competition.

When one of the young bakers was asked the name of the spice she’d sprinkled on top of her macaroons, she’d answered "Canine Pepper".

"Canine" as in dog.

Of course, she meant "Cayenne", but her blooper reminded me of an expensive blooper that occurred in 2010, where 7,000 copies of the Pasta Bible had to be reprinted because a recipe for Spelt Tagliatelle called for "Freshly Ground Black People" instead of "Black Pepper".

Many years ago, a girl working in a branch of the office where I worked — called the Public Affairs Department, submitted for publication a citywide booklet that omitted the "l" making it the Pubic Affairs Department.

She was terribly embarrassed and, because she was such a nice person, I was embarrassed for her. As far as I can recall, she did not get fired for the snafu, but the booklets had to be recalled and reprinted at considerable expense.

Looking at the news this morning about people freezing to death, I won’t be complaining about the cold any longer. Especially since, up until today — when it’s beginning to look like rain is coming, we’d been blessed with sunshine while others are dealing with such miserable and deadly conditions.

Today at noon was Bingo with the new Activity Director.

I decided to go down to the Community Room, get a feel for how she's going to work out.

She’s young, seems personable enough.

She arrived on time, but seemed rushed to stick to schedule so, at this point, the jury is still out, time will tell.

I was glad I went because today was my lucky day. I won the Blackout game, covered the card.

Blackout Card

My Prize, Epsom Salt Gift Set

Today was also Pizza Tuesday. So, while we were playing Bingo, residents came in, quickly selected a pizza from the kitchen counter and quietly exited the room.

One of those doing so was our Karen character.

There were at least a dozen or so full-sized pizzas on the table. She opened every single box, stuck her face in, took her time looking closely at each pizza.

I didn’t see her touch them, infect them with her DNA. She just stuck her head in close.

The former Activity Director would never have allowed it.

She'd have told her to stop opening the boxes, just pick one then stay or go.

This young Activity Director could have cared less.

At any rate, Karen's Dream Lover was in the room, so it’s possible her actions were more a stall tactic — hoping he’d turn around, make eye contact so she could engage him, but it didn’t happen. So, she eventually opted to take the very first pizza she’d inspected and exit the room, with one last over the shoulder look back at Dream Lover.

Inasmuch as no one has won the Mega Million and the pot is up to $565 million, feeling lucky because I won the Blackout Game, instead of heading directly for my unit after Bingo, I walked down to the gas station played my numbers.

Hope springs eternal.

The Day After

Christmas Day came and quietly went, feeling more like a normal day rather than a holiday, especially since today is Monday and business as usual.

Trainer is not taking today off, so it's a workout this morning.

The Elf has gone back to the North Pole — not to be seen until next December, but before he left, I was able to hunt him down one last time.

The Security Guard was in conversation with a customer. So, though he saw me, I hurried past his post before he could interrupt his conversation, tell me where the Elf was hidden.

The plan for Christmas Day was to get caught up on sleep.

Sleep last two weeks has been tossing, turning, waking up anywhere between 1 and 3 a.m., meditating, browsing TikTok until I felt sleepy again, then arising at my regular time feeling unrested, bags under my eyes.

Sleep did not come Christmas Day.

Instead, to keep my mind off things I did not want to think about — like family relationships and my anger/frustrations with the new dental office, I stayed busy. Worked on that needlepoint, made more tamales — as I'm down to the last two of those made three weeks ago and, while the rest of you were probably watching Holiday movies, I was watching/listening to the Snapped Marathon.

The day before (Christmas Eve), I binge watched Homicide for the Holidays — featuring family annihilators.

The upset with the dental office began on Thursday, when I went in for a cleaning and learned the dentist I was becoming comfortable with was no longer with the office, and my first interaction with his replacement was his pulling the same padding the bill crap that caused me to leave the last office.

One would think he'd at least get to know me before trying to screw me, but nooooo.

Not only was he coming up with work that, at my age, I feel doesn't need to be done, but he missed the one thing that does need attention — a tooth that is vertically broken, in need of a crown. It was the hygienist who detected it, not Mr. DDS.

It's just so frustrating that, ever since Dr. McDreamy's practice was taken over by crooks with quotas to meet, that I can't find a dentist that is not a crook trying to bring in as much money as he can.

I don't imagine it will do me any good to look for yet another dentist, as I now feel this new breed are all crooks. I'll just have to learn how to manage this particular crook — let him do the crown, dig in my heels and not allow him to talk or scare me into anything else.

At any rate, this frustration with the dental office, having occurred just before the Holiday began, sent me on a downward spiral of filling my head with mayhem and murder, rather than heartwarming Holiday movies/baking competitions and added to my restless sleep.

One of those mornings when I’d tossed/turned myself awake at an ungodly hour, I entertained myself on TikTok and ran across an interesting story about a kid named Jeremy who had a beef with Santa.

Jeremy’s letter to santa started off "Deer Santa. i am riting this on the day after x-mas and i am very sad. i only received 1 of the 2 presents i asked for. Sense you ate my cookys i will asoom that my missing gift wuz a miss take. i will give you 1 week too fix this."

Santa (actually his parents) replied, "Dear Jeremy, I’m sorry you are disappointed with your presents. You asked for two very expensive presents and Santa can only do so much. You need learn to be grateful for what you have, not upset about what you don’t. If you continue to complain I will have no choice but to add you to the naughty list next year."

That reply seems to have enraged Jeremy, who then wrote, "Deer Fahy (fatty), your threats don’t scare me i played your game and you did not deliver. This is nOt Oke. i will give you 1 week and then you will pay. P.S. i don’t know why you care that it is expensive when you have Elf Slaves to make thingS for you. i think you are naughty for having slaves."

Santa replied, "Dear Jeremy, You are being a very bad little boy. Because you cannot be happy with what you have, I have talked to your parents and told them to take away your Wii U. Now you have nothing. Once you learn to be grateful, perhaps you can have it back. I am very disappointed in you, Jeremy. You will need to be an extra good boy this year if you want to make it back on the nice list."

It was at this point Jeremy went completely off the rails, replying, "Deer Santa, i do not like that stunt you pulled with my parents. You are on my naughty list now. Be afraid. You look slow and easy to kill. Enjoy your cookys next year because they will be pOisOn."

I don’t know if Jeremy is a real little boy or if this is a joke but, if Jeremy is real, then the Tooth Fairy had better not cross him.

All I Want for Christmas

I came sooooo close to last year's Christmas Wish becoming true all of 2022 — that family handle their own squabbles and issues without worrying/involving me.

Now it looks like this year's Christmas Wish is the exact same wish as last year — that family handle their squabbles/disagreements with each other without worrying/involving me.

I’ve done my time.

In addition, I'm adding to this year's wish list — a trustworthy dentist that will tell me he or she can find no need for a crown or fillings, and that I win a couple million if not billions of dollars in the lottery.

That is all.

Have a Fun / Fabulous / Happy / Drama Free Merry Christmas / Kwanzaa / Hannukah, Solstice.