All Quiet on the Senior Front

Other than two back-to-back senior moments, nothing interesting going on in my world last few days.

First senior moment was on Tuesday, when I went to the market to pick up my contribution for the birthday party, only to arrive at the checkout counter to realize I’d left home without my fanny pack.

That would be the fanny pack that holds the essentials -- money, driver’s license, proof of insurance, bank cards, portable charger, pepper spray, usually also the cellphone but, fortunately, this time I’d left home with the cellphone in my hand.

It only took me a second to drive back to the complex, pick up the fanny pack, return and pay for items being held by the cashier, but it was a little embarrassing.

Second time was on Wednesday, when at Walmart picking up that tire pressure gauge, I ran into two of my daughter’s very best friends.

Just before we parted, wanting to show daughter I’d run into the girls, I said just the stupidest thing ever … “Let me take a facie”.

Of course, I meant “selfie”.

Where facie came from I’ve no idea, and I cringe every time I think about the faux pau.

Fortunately, I got through Thursday without any further embarrassing senior moments, but probably because I was lazy and chose to stay indoors and veg out most of the day.

I did make it out in the afternoon to attend the Residents/Management meeting. 

Assistant Complex Manager being the only person currently on staff, other than the two Maintenance guys, she proctored the session – all 10 minutes of it -- explaining that, being the only one on staff, she had no time for our usual hourly session.

So, what we got was the reader’s digest version of what us residents needed to know – quick, fast, dirty, take no questions, and mostly what we already knew.

That the re-inspection is coming up. Only, she put it thusly, “Instead of clapping to us that we did so well, they want to find out why we did so good”.

Also, that 30% of residents failed to comply with the request that, “If you have a garage, appear at the Leasing Office on Monday 4/23 between 2pm-4pm”.

I’m so sure that 30% wants to bury their heads in the sand and not address their cluttered garages, but if their garage is one the re-inspectors choose to look at, and there’s a problem which impacts the outcome of the re-inspection, it will not bode well for that resident.

Believe it or not, what with all the sometimes drama arising from so many different states and stages of conscious awareness living so closely together, there are still people clamoring to get a unit in this complex. Consequently, I wouldn't be surprised if garage problems resulted in eviction, as there is a considerable waiting list. Twice I’ve met new people who looked as though they’d won the lottery, all smiles and saying, “I tried so hard for so long to get in here”.

Some of these folks are returns -- residents who left for greener pastures, only to find the grass wasn’t greener, just different grass, with a lot more weeds than what we have here.

One such former resident, now trying to get a unit in the complex, long-time readers might remember as the resident who scammed me out of $40.

Calling one night to say she was in desperate straits and could she borrow $40, I gave her the money no questions asked. Saying she’d get it back to me such-and-such a date, she instead quickly snuck away, relocating to Saint Louis, which led me to wonder just how many other residents she scammed on her way out.

It’s being said she can’t return because she has something “bad on her record”.

Probably scammed the office as well.

At any rate, her only hope now is that one of the residents, scheduled for an operation, is trying to help her by taking her on as a caregiver.

Meanwhile, back to the topic of garages.

Casino Lady, seated at my table, said she doesn’t have a garage, but has three carports.

What?!

Why three?

“Because I have three cars”.

It’s just she and her sister, and sister doesn’t drive, so I don’t get it, but okay. I collect rocks, she collects cars. To each her own, but unlike her carports costing her $15 per port, my rocks aren’t costing me a single penny.

Lastly, it appears Apache’s campaign against the pit bull is bearing fruit. After the 10th complaint, and the County getting involved, we were told Corporate Office is taking “legal action” against the owner.

The last two complaints were that the pit had snapped at a resident and, when the feeble old guy that owns the pit took a tumble recently while walking the pit (When you see it, it’s more like the pit walking him), the pit prevented residents from approaching to help. Fortunately, feeble old guy’s tumble wasn’t serious and, after a time, he managed to get upright, but it was just another example of why the pit is a problem.

Since I knew there would be a lot of residents attending the meeting, I took Apache’s birthday card with me to catch residents that don’t often get down to the Community Room.

Upon learning that Apache is a Trump supporter -- from the face of the Orange Idiot-in-Chief on front of the card, one such resident refused to sign. She actually said, “I hate that Mother F_ _ _ _ r!”. Not Apache … she was speaking of the Orange Idiot.

I have a feeling there might be others unable to put their intense hatred aside and sign as well.

Oh well, it is what it is.

Home Alone

It occurred to me yesterday morning that, with no Community Manager, no one from Corporate checking in, just Assistant Manager – who is always closing down early because she’s sick or something, and the two Maintenance Guys – Head Maintenance Guy who doesn’t give a darn and the new Assistant Maintenance Guy, who is too new to do other than told, us seenagers are Home Alone.

Thus far, we’ve been well behaved.

The Shadow’s 60th birthday party was off-the-hook.

The new old guy I’d invited never showed, but I wasn’t surprised. He’d probably forgotten or was taking a nap. Either way though, he missed a good time because we had sooooo much fun.

I took lots of photos for our Facebook page but, keeping in mind Shadow doesn’t want his face posted, I found workarounds.

Like snapping his photo when he was looking down, cap brim hiding his face, or capturing him when his face was turned away from the camera, or when a Pokémon Wailmer wandered into the room and hovered over the birthday boy’s face.

I also got him to use a Lay’s Smile Bag as a disguise.

Looks a little like John Cena doesn’t he?

I don’t mean to rag on the guy but trust me … Shadow is nowhere near this good looking without the bag.

Shadow had so much fun with the Smile Bag that he began creating fun settings for photo ops.

The resident providing ice cream never showed, so I could have gotten away with contributing ice cream instead of chicken, but the chicken went over well -- especially since I also picked up a tub of potato salad.

From now on, however, my contribution will be ice cream even if someone else has committed to it. Too much ice cream is better than none at all, and the ice cream to go with the cake was missed to the point where birthday boy asked if anyone wanted to go with him to the donut shop for a scoop.

The party was such a success that I think Apache got a little jealous. He kept reminding attendees that his birthday is coming up.

He mentioned it so much that Shadow called him on it, blurting out “You’re beginning to sound jealous.”

Must have hit a nerve, because Apache didn’t mention it again after that.

Apache need not worry, because one of his friends whispered in my ear that “If I give you $20, will you pick up chicken and potato salad for C____’s (Apache’s) party?”

“Of course,” was my answer. “Just let me know what day you’re planning for”.

Remember how I said some of the ladies around here are extremely forward, don’t even care if a male is spoken for?

Well, one such lady made her interest known by leaving a lip print on the back of Shadow’s birthday card.

I’m more than a little certain it was Loosey Goosey, who’d come on so strong when Shadow first appeared in the Community Room that it scared him.

Obviously, The Seer did not invite Loosey to the party, but Loosey had the opportunity to leave the lip print when she’d earlier been in the Community Room, picking up a pizza, and Shadow’s birthday card had been sitting on the counter for residents to sign.

I thought the lip print hysterical.

The Seer was not amused.

Shadow was smart enough to show no reaction.

I find it so wildly funny that I’m going to try to get some of the ladies to leave lip prints on Apache’s card.

On tap for today is picking up a tire pressure gauge. The Jeep’s manual says it’s to be done once-a-month and since I can’t just drop into the tire place, like I did when I had the Saturn after purchasing new tires, and since gas station attendants who’d check our tires is a thing of the past, looks like I’m going to have to learn to do it for myself.

Looking at videos on YouTube, seems simple enough … except for the bending and stooping.

I’m in fairly good shape for my age, but bending and stooping is my Achilles heel.

Seems a lot of trouble, a lot of work, but if I gotta, then I gotta, especially since I’ve a road trip coming up.

Lil Old Matchmaker Me

Walking around the complex this morning, I did not see anyone cleaning out garages, nor did I se anyone checking garages. I did, however, run into Shadow who asked if I had jumper cables.

Of course, I did not but inasmuch as he needed someone who did have cables to give him a jump, I went to the other side of the complex to ask the gentleman who use to work on cars in his garage.

He was not at home.

I then walked back to my area and asked the neighbor around the corner, because I know he works on motorcycles and stuff. Surprisingly, he also did not saying he had “cables but not jumper cables”.

I’m not mechanically inclined, so I don’t know what that means.

After asking the new Assistant Maintenance Guy (one of the temps looks to have been hired on permanently) if he had cables and being told “no because I use triple A”, I gave up, went to check out the activity board in the Community Room and ran into a resident I’d never seen before.

I greeted him with a “Good morning. Do you have jumper cables?”

“Why yes, I do”.

How about that!

The right person, in the right place, at the right time.

The new gentleman has been here about a month, he says. Is retired for the Air Force and if I had to describe him I’d say he’s slow, small, gentlemanly.

Later, in the Community Room chatting with Church Lady, I spied the new resident and having the thought he’d be an ideal match for Church Lady, as she too is slow and small, I brought the two together.

We’ll see how it goes.

While the new guy was helping Shadow charge his battery, I invited the new guy down to the 3:00 surprise birthday party, but I’ll be surprised if he shows because I doubt he’ll remember because, when I later reminded him, he asked “What’s going on?” like he didn’t remember we’d talked about it.

Seems a sweet old guy, but may have a memory situation going on.

Under Cover of Darkness

Shadow spotted a resident trying to get her garage in order late last night.

Knowing she’s got far too much stuff in her garage and is about to be found out, so desperate was she that she was calling people down, giving furniture away.

Today, headed out, I spotted three others attempting to get rid of stuff in their garages. There were trucks and people helping, probably family members. One old rickety truck was piled high -- stuff tied down with ropes, looking like the opening scene of Beverly Hillbillies, minus granny tied to the top.

I seriously doubt they’ll get very far without being pulled over by the police for the precarious load.

Community Manager, expected to be back in her office this morning, was not. We’re now told she will return on the 1st – the day of the re-inspection.

If that’s the case, and there now being no Corporate Boss Lady, then who is going to conduct tomorrow’s garage inspections?

At any rate, tomorrow is setting up to be a very interesting and enlightening day around here.

Tomorrow is also the regular Pizza Tuesday, plus The Seer has arranged for a surprise birthday party for Shadow and roped me in asking me to make deviled eggs.

Nope.

Not up to it, said I, but offered to bring ice cream to go with the cake.

Someone already agreed to ice cream.

How about sodas, said I.

Someone already bringing sodas.

Willing to join in, but not willing to cook, I came up with “How about I order fried chicken”.

BINGO!

It didn’t occur to me until later, I probably could have gotten away with a Starbucks Traveler. 

But chicken it is, and believe it or not, the chicken is costing less than the Starbucks.

Hopefully someone will bring salad to round it out.

I, of course, can’t eat the cake, iced cream, chicken or salad. I’ll  make some healthy "fried" chicken -- bread chicken tenders with almond meal flour, bake in the oven, make a cabbage/avocado slaw so I can keep my gut pain free.

I thought Apache’s birthday would be big around here, but looks like it’s going to be Shadow’s because, unless one of Apache’s other friends arranges for a party, like The Seer is doing for Shadow, it’ll just be me giving him the gift I ordered.

Skullduggery Part 2

Thursday was me, indoors, accomplishing nothing of significance. I had errands to run but didn’t, because I’d opted to believe rain in the virtual world over the real world predicting not.

The weather that day was dark and gloomy, but it did not rain.

Oh well.

Friday was driving out-of-the-area to Trader Joe’s to replenish my supply of pink Himalayan salt.

Salt is salt, but the Himalayan Crystals are supposedly rich in minerals, better for the body than iodized sea salt, beneficial in strengthening bones, lowering blood pressure and detoxifying the body of toxins.

Though I made the switch from iodized salt to Himalayan Crystals in March of last year, I can’t attest to any of these claims as being true because I can’t say if the benefits I’ve experienced to my overall health is due to the crystals or because of clean eating, but I like the subtle flavor enough to drive miles for a bottle, plus I like that the salt crystals are so pretty.

At any rate, heading out to Trader Joe’s, I took the long way to the car – detouring by the boxes to pick up mail and through the Community Room to see if anything new has been posted to the board.

Nothing new, but I did run into Apache who said he’d just been to the office to leave yet more documentation for Corporate Boss Lady, relative to getting the pit bull off the property, and was told “she is no longer with us”.

WHAT?!

That’s huge!

The second biggest shocker since the former Community Manager – that mean cruel Nurse Ratched was fired by way of being escorted out of her office, off the property and into the waiting arms of police officers.

Did Corporate Boss Lady quit?

Not bloody likely. Not the woman whose position was so powerful that the mere mention of her name by residents would cause office staff to shake in their boots, Head Maintenance Guy to get off his lazy behind and begrudgingly do his job.

Was Corporate Boss Lady fired?

For sure.

Another casualty of whatever it was that went wrong with that government super bowl of inspections.

Inasmuch as the re-inspection is coming up, I’d been wondering why I’d not seen her hovering around.

Wowwee wow!

General consensus is more heads will roll, as foreseen by The Seer when she had that image of dominos falling, because though repairs to the H Building have been made, the re-inspectors want to look at not only units but also garages.

That’s a problem.

I can’t remember the last time I saw a garage around here with an actual car in it. Mostly, the garages are packed floor to ceiling with items residents were unwilling to give up when they downsized from 3/4/5-bedroom houses to these senior units.

Not only are the garages full of boxed items, but I’ve seen washers, dryers, stoves, refrigerators, lamps, couches, rugs, wall décor, etc. So much stuff that it’s futile for residents to try to find anything because, when they open the garage door, they’re faced with an impenetrable wall of stuff.

Community Manager will be returning from her suspension on Monday and it looks like her first duty will be to address the garage situation because a notice was posted to our doors that “If you have a garage, your presence is require (sic) at the Leasing Office on Monday 4/23 between 2pm-4pm” ... “Prior to the apartment visit, we will be conducting a garage inspection on April 24th between 9am – 4pm”.

Not much time to correct what looks to be a substantial roadblock to passing the re-inspection.

186 Days Later

From this ……

Finally, to this ………

It’s amazing what can be accomplished, and how fast it can be accomplished, with a little motivation behind it.

Motivation in this case being the upcoming May Day re-inspection.

Color me suspicious, but the repairs were put together so quickly (2/3 days) that I’m suspicious as to it being a flim flam job -- glue, duct tape, paint.

Guess we’ll know how structurally sound this is when we have our next earthquake but, according to the date calculator, the total time span from accident to repairs (October 15, 2017 to April 18, 2018), whether you look at it as 186 days, or 6 months 3 days or 26 weeks 4 days or 4,440 hours or 266,400 minutes is a long time to get around to it.

General consensus is it’s the reason why Community Manager was suspended for 30 days.

She did say, in a Residents/Management meeting some time back, that the repairs are “expensive”. She also said in that meeting she was proud of having come in under budget.

Putting the two statements together, and the haste to get the repairs taken care of before the re-inspection, I can only assume this trying to come in under budget, at the expense of holding off on repairs, got her in trouble with either Corporate or there was mention of the unrepairs in that super bowl of inspections which alerted Corporate and got her in trouble.

Oh well, all’s well that ends well.

On another topic, thanks to the magic of the internet, it was way easy to learn I am not the oldest Pokémon GO trainer.

There’s an 84-year old hunter in Singapore, and one my age (a 74-year old) on Facebook who is purported to have reached the highest level.

I’m just now learning how to throw curve balls, not yet gutsy enough to step up my game and learn to battle.

On tap for today was to have been errands. However, when I loaded up the game this morning to check the area, it shows rain in the virtual world.

Not so in the real world.

I’m putting my trust in the virtual world and leaving errands off to another day.