The Nerves!!

Popping into the office on Friday, to get a November Activity calendar, I ran into Talker.

It was a bingo Friday, so she was hauling in bingo equipment, snacks and prizes for the table saying, "I don’t know what’s going on. It’s just me".

Seemed the other three organizers bailed on her – Painted Rock Lady didn’t feel well, She Who Shall Remain Nameless (SWSRN) was "worried about her heart", and the Baker was experiencing pain in both knees.

"So, you’re on your own? You have to setup the tables, the prizes, take photos, call the games?", asked I.

"Unless someone comes that can help", she said.

It was on the tip of my tongue to offer to stay, help. However, these last few weeks when I’ve been on my own … reflective, working myself through emotional stuff, I’ve been feeling like I was pulling away from folks around here, in a sense outgrowing them.

So, though my initial instinct was to volunteer myself, something held me back. It ended with me wishing Talker "good luck" and heading back to my unit, without a calendar as they’d all been taken.

Of course, feelings of guilt were immediate. Guilt that I could have helped and chose not to. THEN, I remembered that, at the Halloween Costume Party, where I’d taken well over 100 photos of the residents, needed someone to include me/take photos of my costume, I’d asked Talker to do so. She’d said "okay" but, busy socializing, never got around to it.

Later, as I was leaving, I ran into Big Friendly Guy, asked if he took good pics. He said, "Let’s find out", got out of his wheelchair and managed to capture the pic I’d posted to the blog but, nowhere out of all the photos on the Residents’ facebook page, is there a photo of myself having attended the costume party.

Needless to say, after remembering Talker not helping ME, my feeling guilty for not volunteering to help HER dissipated.

I guess bingo went okay, because I later received photos for the Residents’ facebook page.

Our MAGA neighbor was in the photos, at a table playing bingo with a few other ladies and smiling. So, I guess she’s not all that devastated by the Blue Wave.

Out walking later, I ran into Talker with Lu helping her to put away bingo supplies.

Seems to have been a long day as Talker looked like hell, LOL. Said something about not being able to handle it like the much older myself and Lu.

So, anyway. I ended the day calendar less, but left a message on the office telephone line requesting a printout to be picked up today, Monday.

That brings us to today when, around 11:15, I headed down to the office for that printout and to schedule an appointment.

Just as I walked through the front door of the office building, I saw the Baker walking into the Community Room.

She didn’t see me as her back was to the door and, for some strange reason, I didn’t call out to her as I normally would have. Instead, I turned the corner to enter the office, ran right smack dab into SWSRN, carting in craft supplies for a session she's obviously scheduled for today.

Her reaction to seeing me … "Good morning, Beautiful. I was just about to call you".

The nerves!!

I heard my inside voice say, "F_cking liar!", LOL.

I did not respond. Instead, I looked through SWSRN as though she wasn’t there, did not exist; walked into Assistant Manager’s office, picked up the printout, got scheduled for Recertification this Wednesday, headed back towards my unit, with a stop by the Library Room to drop off a book I ended up with two copies, from forgetting I already had a copy in my to be read stash. Then a stop in the mailroom, followed by the Laundry Room when an elderly resident stopped me, asked for help getting her laundry card to work, then to my unit to blog about this morning’s encounter with SWSRN.

But why am I laughing as I type this? Why do I find it so hilarious? … especially the part where SWSRN is down there probably expecting, since she was busted, for me to have popped into the Community Room, join in or ask why I wasn't notified.

Oh, the games people play and mainly with themselves, as a spiritual teacher once explained it thusly: It’s like a ball game on the field of life. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches, so on and so forth. BUT what happens when the pitcher pitches and the catcher doesn’t catch/doesn't react? It's game over. The pitcher is on his own, stuck with whatever while the catcher moves on to the next thing.