The High Table

Yesterday’s 4th of July BBQ was a huge success but, before I go into details, let me just explain that in the world of John Wick, the term "High Table" is indicative of the organization in charge, those who set the rules and, as you read on, you’ll understand why this post is thus titled.

Also, there’s breaking news to report …… the Love Birds (Dream Lover and Lu) are back on.

I noticed on Tuesday, when updating the header from June to July on the residents’ FB page, that Lu had commented on one of the photos of Dream Lover, "My handsome man".

Gag me.

Dream Lover was once again the Grill Master at the BBQ — hamburgers/hotdogs and, when Lu arrived, he addressed her as "Hey, gorgeous" and they had a make out session …… kissed.

Gag me with a spoon.

Explanation and Breaking new out of the way ……… I arrived early, so I could capture photos of the decorations and stuff before the crowd arrived.

My little friend Knock Knock (renamed because I received a violation for the previous nomenclature as "violating guidelines") was there, helping the organizers set up.

She pretty much has been living here with us old folks until school restarts and, now at 8-years-old, has grown out of whatever obsession she previously had with me, is no longer constantly knocking on my door, but still runs up and gives me a hug when our paths cross.

Last BBQ (Memorial Day) it was the Baker’s family members who contributed time, money, energy into that event. This time it was the Talker’s family members, and they even prepared Swag bags for us attendees.

Later in the event, when swag bags were distributed, I found they contained various candies, a Popper, little Bubble maker thingie, a patriotic necklace and cute little hat.

Once residents poured in, the Community Room became packed with "preferred residents" …… those who have come to bingo, come to craft sessions, and a few newbies the organizers felt safe to invite.

You could have knocked me over with a feather, when I saw Painted Rock Lady come through the door.

I was amazed to see her because, after that last fall, when her dog pushed her out of the bed, fractured her hip for the second time, she was hospitalized and going into a rehabilitation situation had been suggested.

"Rehabilitation" generally means we’ll never see the person alive again.

Painted Rock Lady said no, that if she was to recover, she wanted to do so at home and, though she looks haggard and exhausted, she survived and was well enough to make it to the Community Room on her own with her portable breathing machine and walker, even talking about working on painting rocks again.

So, anyway, the menu consisted of hamburgers, hot dogs, all the fixings, plus potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, mac and cheese, cupcakes for dessert.

My "reserved" spot, at the far end of the table, was a perfect spot for eyeing the entire room, being able to stand quickly/move quickly to capture photos, but the table clearly indicated the elite ……… reserved name signs, different tablecloth than the other tables.

No matter, as I was just there to take photos for the residents’ FB page, did not intend to stay long enough to be considered a part of a click, so I had fun playing naughty with my reserved name sign — holding it up to various parts of my body, declaring them "reserved".

As I was saying, the spot was perfect …… that is until Upstairs Lady — the woman who has problems with her legs (which Twin 1, who used to work in the medical profession, tells me is Lymphedema) showed up.

Upstairs Lady made it to the table on her walker, began approaching the end of the table where I was seated, pausing along the way to pick up certain reserved name signs.

Once she made it to the end of the table to where I was seated, she declared, "I’m sitting here", then began removing reserved name signs on either side of me, replacing with the ones she’d picked up along the way, saying so and so is sitting here, so and so is sitting there.

She arranged things to where Dream Lover and Lu would be seated on one side of that end table spot, and Crafty Lady (the new resident that’s running craft sessions) would be seated on the other side, thereby arranging the seating to where she’d be surrounded by her besties …… and she did all this while I was still seated in my designated spot.

So aggressive.

To top it off, midstream of what she was saying/doing, Upstairs Lady pointed to a chair towards the middle of the table saying, "You can sit there".

Ordinarily, I would have calmly said something to Upstairs Lady like I once had to say to a coworker who thought she was the boss of me, that "We are not still living on the plantation". Then I would have removed the name signs from Upstairs Lady’s hand, replaced them where they’d been, essentially telling Upstairs Lady in no uncertain terms to go F herself.

But for some strange reason I didn’t.

Like I walked out of bingo, never to return because others were getting on my last nerves with their inability to follow rules, I might have even picked up my reserved name sign and walked out of the event, taking no photos, which would have gotten Upstairs Lady in deep do do with the Baker and Talker.

But I didn’t.

Don’t ask me why I didn’t put Upstairs Lady in her place or cause her to suffer consequences of her actions. I just didn’t.

Instead, it was like I went into an altered state where time stood still.

I was not conscious of thinking anything as Upstairs Lady hoovered over me, rudely designating who was to sit where, except that as her voice began to fade further and further away from my awareness, I found myself picking up my reserved name sign, moving to the end of the next table over, which gave me the same vantage point to take photos and didn’t feel like I was involved in a click.

After that, there was no thoughts of Upstairs Lady. Even though she was seated at the end table right next to where I was seated. I didn’t hear her voice, she did not appear in my peripheral vision, she was just no longer a part of my reality. It was like Upstairs Lady disappeared from the face of the earth.

I was later joined at the table by one of the Talker’s sisters, who asked if I minded if other relatives joined us.

"Of course not", said I, and the table filled with residents and various family members of Talker.

When Talker saw I was not seated in the designated spot, she came over, pointed to where I was to have sat said, "I reserved a spot for you over there".

"She (pointing at Upstairs Lady) wanted to sit there", said I.

Talker looked confused when she looked over, saw Upstairs Lady sitting there, but suggested I move to one of the middle spots at that table.

I was fine where I was, so I declined.

At one point, Trash Tosser (the resident who threw her trash in front of Dream Lover’s door) walked in, sat down in an empty chair middle of the organizer’s table.

She didn’t know she was not to sit at that table, I guess didn't notice the reserved name signs. She just saw people she knew, an empty chair, sat down.

I watched, waited to see how long it would before she would be asked to move, but before that happened, she got up, moved to the last open spot at my table, next to Talker’s sister, and said something about that table, the organizers’ table, not feeling right, that our table felt to be more fun.

Interesting is it not that she felt the elitist stuffiness at that table, and was open about saying so.

I commended her on being so insightful, and said that table reminded me of the High Table in John Wick’s saga.

From there, Trash Tosser, Talker’s sister and I had fun talking about "The High Table" …… watching as unsuspecting residents made the mistake of sitting there, waited to see how long they’d remain before being asked to move or, feeling frozen out of conversations, got the message and moved on their own.

Trash Tosser has an interesting backstory. Shared that, before coming here, she was homeless. Said she has a downstairs unit because she has a physical condition that occasionally causes seizures and something about the program that got her placed here has so many rules/strings that she doesn't plan to live here long, that her goal is to one day be "free", whatever that means.

I’m guessing one of the rules is not to dump trash in front of your neighbor’s door, and no, I didn’t dare bring that up, ask why she did it, LOL.

Like I said, Upstairs Lady had ceased to exist after I got away from the High Table but, evidently, she’d not forgotten me. Maybe it was the confused look Upstairs Lady saw on Talker's face or the accusatory way I'd said "She wanted to sit there", that caused Upstairs Lady to begin to think she may have crossed a line, might be in trouble.

I wasn’t aware of Upstairs Lady looking over at me from time to time, but maybe she did after that because, at one point, she brought herself back into my awareness by interrupting my conversation with my table mates, called to me.

When I looked over to see what she wanted, she again said, "You can move" and pointed to one of the middle spots at the High Table.

I resented the intrusion, gave her a sharp "NO!", just like that — like why are you bothering me, why are you bringing yourself back into my awareness, trying to make yourself relevant, and turned back to my conversation like she wasn’t there.

If Upstairs Lady was beginning to feel guilty, or thinking she was in hot water, the way I said "NO!" was designed to not lessen that guilt or let her off the hook.

I’m hoping that she doesn’t later see me around and bring it up again, try to apologize or use her physical disability as an excuse for having wanted to sit there because, though it really didn’t matter whether I sat there or not, her self-entitlement and aggression is unforgivable.

She could have simply politely asked if I minded moving because she’d feel more comfortable in that spot, surrounded by her besties, so I’m not going to ease any guilt or worry she might be entertaining.

I’m actually not pissed off, not mad, but it’s good for her to think I might be, because Upstairs Lady needs to think about how she handled the situation, and sometimes the way to cause others to look at themselves, is to do nothing, say nothing, shut them out of one’s mind, let ‘em sweat, imagine the worst.

Towards the end of the event when things were winding down, some had finished eating and left already, I was thinking about heading back upstairs, start work on the whopping 170 photos I’d taken, the organizers were all seated at the High Table, finally having time to enjoy their own meal. Talker walked over, asked her sister to move to the High Table, next to her.

Sister got up to do that, leaned over and said to me, "I’ve been upgraded, but don’t worry, I won’t forget where I came from".

I was rolling in laughter, told her to remember John Wick, watch her back over there.

All in all, a fun time which, with interesting fodder for the blog, is why I ended up staying longer than I'd expected.