Streak Broken

Guess I’m going to have to reset the three strikes thing, because yesterdays Memorial Day Barbeque was great.

When I went down ten minutes prior to Activity Director’s event last Tuesday, she was nowhere in sight, the grill wasn’t going – in fact Assistant Maintenance Guy was cleaning the grill, and there was confusion as to who was going to man the grill.

When I went down ten minutes prior to the Residents Volunteer Activity’s event, everything was already in full swing – the grill was going, music was playing, residents were dancing around, socializing, having a good time, with more residents coming to join us as time went on.

And guess who was manning the grill.

That’s right, it was Shadow.

When asked to do the duty last week, he was pissy and walked away. However, inasmuch as he had not been asked to man the grill this time -- arrangements had been made with a female resident (The Lady Who Wants Braids [LWWB]), he decided he wanted to do it.

Go figure.

Anyway, we ended up with two grill masters and they worked it out. Shadow did the ribs and links, the LWWB did the chicken.

There was so much food – macaroni salad, potato salad, fruit, barbeque beans, corn on the cob, baked potato, some sort of squash dish, someone brought tea, two people brought popcorn.

Since a baked potato doesn’t upset my gut, I was able to eat that; plus, the LWWB grilled a chicken breast for me with only salt and onion powder instead of BBQ sauce. I’d also made a few deviled eggs for myself using gluten-free soy-free ingredients, as opposed to the real mayo, sugar, pickle relish used in eggs for the seniors.

I got a surprise when I removed the aluminum foil from what I thought was two small baked red potatoes -- I found one potato, one whole onion.

That was a fortuitous error because onions are on my menu in some way shape form daily, but I didn’t know they could be baked whole.

I’ll be doing that from now on when I roast veggies.

So anyway, yesterday’s event was A-Okay.

The only thing that wasn’t okay was Apache bringing up the Orange Idiot in Chief and getting into a political debate with a resident who didn’t want to be debated.

When Apache began talking about all the great things the Orange Idiot has done, including bringing that last guy home, the resident made the grievous error, in Apache’s Trumpette brain to say, “I hate that Mother F ___er”.

An expression I hear a lot around here relative to the Orange Idiot.

Apache lost his damn mind. He was ranting and raving, as the resident said, “I don’t want to talk about this”.

Apache wouldn’t let it go, “It’s disrespectful to talk about the president like that. You can get in a lot of trouble.”

The resident said she was getting upset and didn’t want to hear it.

“That’s the problem. When we talk about all he’s done, no one wants to hear it”, Apache raged on.

At this point, I’m thinking “That’s because we’re not blind. We know it’s all self-serving” and very much wanting to say out loud to Apache “How can you believe a guy who lies so much?”. But I knew better to voice it out loud, because Apache was already turning red and raging out of control. Instead, I told Apache to “Squash it. We’re having a good time here, no one wants to hear about that stuff”.

Still he persisted. I began chanting over his tirade, “Shut up, shut up, squash it, shut up”. Others also began urging him to shut it down.

Shadow came over with a water bottle and sprayed Apache in the face saying, “You’re all wet”.

With a chorus of us seniors chanting, and Shadow spraying him again as he keep raging at the woman, unable to get any of us to pay attention to what he was saying, Apache finally calmed down, but really – it was kinda scary how out of control he’d gotten.

When it was over, Apache was back to normal, like nothing had happened, and the party went on.

The resident he’d gotten into it with is new. She didn't know you never engage when Apache begins praising his hero. You ignore him or get up and walk away but, whatever you do, never ever say anything negative about his hero.  She learned that rule the hard way.

All in all, a fun event.

Later, back in my unit, while on the puter, up popped a pin for those skull print onesie pajamas.

I took that to mean I’m meant to have them, reordered and sent to a different mall for pickup.

Today, it’s back to scrapbooking. Now working on the Great Donut Run photos, I’ll be totally caught up in no time and back to needlepoint.

Happy Memorial Day

Activity Director gave us seniors that chaotic Memorial Day Celebration last Tuesday, but the Residents Volunteer Activity Committee sent out smoke signals indicating show up today at 3:00 for a celebration on the date proper and bring a dish.

I so wanted to try gel dyed patriotic eggs that I agreed to put myself out there once again.

Red White and Blue Deviled Eggs

But if today goes south it will be three-strikes for the folks. First being I won’t return to exercise class again because of there being no class, after I’d arranged my schedule to attend. Second is I won’t be wasting my time with movie night again because it’s impossible to enjoy the film with residents chitchatting. If I don’t enjoy myself today, that will be three strikes and I’ll be benching myself to the couch in my unit, scrapbooking, needlepointing or out and about hunting Pokémon and participating in Virtual 5Ks, rather than hanging with the folks.

Shadow being such a pisser when Apache asked him to grill last week, has been bypassed and a female resident who manned the grill in the past for the committee will be handling the grill today.

Yesterday at the mall turned out okay. No crowds. I guess it depends on which mall one goes to.

The boutique lost the item I’d been charged for. That’s too bad because I was really looking forward to those skull print onesie pajamas and though the boutique reversed the charges, I probably won’t online ship to that location again.

One Down, One to Go

Headed out early yesterday morning to complete the first of the two Virtual 5Ks on my to-do list. The plan was to do the 3.12 miles around a local mall, well before it opened and the weekend crowds arrived.

I chose this particular mall because I’d been charged by one of the boutiques for an online item I’d not received. Upon disputing the charge, I learned the item was in the boutique, waiting for me to pick up and had been for weeks.

Nice, I never received notification the item had arrived.

At any rate, after suiting up, switching fanny packs, grabbing a water bottle, off I go. Passing a church I know to be a Poke Stop, I pulled over, spinned for Poké Balls, caught a new creature, then drove another mile up the road to the Military Museum next to the McDonald’s Museum, were I knew I could spin for more balls.

That was when I looked down and saw one of the flaps on the fanny pack was open – the flap that holds ID, credit cards, driver's license, proof of insurance.

I knew right away I'd missed a pocket when transferring from one fanny pack to another.

Recalculating .........…

Not willing to head to an area soon to become busy without ID, license and insurance info, I immediately turned around and reworked my plan for the day -- headed back to the complex, stopped by the market and, it getting too late to head back to the mall in time to beat the crowds, completed the 3.12 miles on the indoor bike.

Not as much time, energy or calories burned in peddling 3.12 miles, as in walking 3.12 miles but, in a virtual, biking counts; plus, I expended more energy than had I stayed on the couch

Later in the afternoon, I got to enjoy the film Black Panther in the peaceful quiet atmosphere of my unit.

A fun movie, I could watch it again.

Stan Lee made his usual cameo, Martin Freeman -- who plays Watson to that delicious Benedict Cumberbatch in Sherlock Holmes, had a role as one of two token white people in the all-black film. And my girl Michonne had a prominent role as General of the King’s Army. 

Fun and entertaining as the movie was, it didn’t stop me from crying at the end -- over the fate of Killmonger no less.  He was a bad guy for real, but still I wimped out during that scene on the mountain.

Made me glad those two ladies had driven me to walk out on movie night. I don’t like others to see me cry, plus there were scenes that made me react out loud – laugh, yell, curse, which would have required considerable control to keep in had I been in a room full of others.

No feedback on how my walking out on movie night was perceived. I seriously doubt those two ignorant witches had a clue, or even cared if they did have a clue, that their chitchatting was disturbing to those of us trying to watch the film. I did hear, however, that shortly after I left, one of them left as well. Hopefully it WAS because I’d made a scene and the continuing to chitchat uncomfortable for her.

On tap for today is heading back to that mall, with a stop by those two PokeStops on the way. I can hear Dkzody now, saying I’m crazy to go to the mall on a busy day like this, but I want to pick up that package and I might get lucky that folks are still in church by the time I get to the mall and it won’t be so packed.

Sleeping My Life Away

I don’t know if it’s the weather, but yesterday found me sleeping my life away.

The sleeping fever actually began Wednesday afternoon, when I fell asleep in the middle of playing Candy Crush on the laptop. I slapped myself awake and drank coffee to stay alert because Survivor Finale was on TV that night.

After a good night’s sleep, I performed my morning ritual the next day (Thursday) and, after breakfast, I sat on the couch to watch television and promptly fell asleep, in full metal jacket – face made up, street clothes on. I should probably describe it as having passed out, because I didn’t wake up until a little after 5:00 in the afternoon.

I totally missed Judge Judy!

After all that sleeping, I had no trouble going to bed that night, at my regular time, and falling fast asleep.

Slated to attend movie night in the Community Room, 4:00 today, because Black Panther was showing, feeling once against sleepy during the day, I set the alarm for 3:30, the DVR to record Judy, managed to stay awake and went down to the Community Room shortly before 4:00.

I was back in my unit by 4:30. Not because I was sleepy, but because two women in the Community Room wouldn’t shut up. Talking about their dogs, I couldn’t hear what was being said on the screen.

Many times, I’d turn around, look at them, give them the “Are you kidding look”, turn back, shake my head.

They saw it, stopped talking for a second, then started up again.

When I felt myself getting to the point where I didn’t think I could control myself any longer, and was on the verge of screaming at them, I stood up, told the President of the Residents Volunteer Activity Committee (RVAC), “Will you see to it the DVD is returned to me when the movie is over. I can’t hear it here, with all this chatter, and will watch it in my unit where I can enjoy it” and walked out of the room, eyes of the talkers on me.

Too bad The Seer wasn’t in attendance, because I’d like to know how insulted the two talkers were, and what they said about my making a scene.

I’d asked to have the DVR returned to me because it was mine. I’d just gotten it -- same day I purchased the new printer. I’d walked into Target a few doors down from Best Buy and there it was.

I was so excited about finding the DVD, when everywhere I’d looked (including that Best Buy) were only offering Blu-Ray, that I’d posted the find to Facebook. Apache saw the posting and asked if the RVAC could show it today.

Sure said I, and I waited to see it with the folks.

Won’t do that again.

And when Avengers Infinity War comes out on DVD and Apache asks if he can show it to the folks, I’ll probably say no. Evidently, residents come for the snacks and to chitchat, not the movie, so to heck with ‘em. But hopefully, those two rude women got the message and let others enjoy the movie after I left.

Dirty Trick

Already anxious for another 5K, because the weather is so perfect for one, I got all excited when I saw an email titled “Memorial Day Race Event hosted by Mark Christopher Auto Center”, figuring that if the auto center was hosting the event, it would be close by and a nice flat course on the streets of Ontario.

Opening up the email, this is what I found.

What a dirty trick. They’re selling cars.

At any rate, I’ve two virtuals coming up – The Running Dead and The Copper Bones Goonie 5K. That should quell my desire to stay active until another fun run comes along.

It took me more hours yesterday than it should have to get the new printer set up, but I managed it – all by myself and came away feeling quite the technical guru.

I ended up with the HP Envy 5055, and a toner replacement plan that doesn’t look like it will break the bank and for sure I’ll no longer have to run all over town looking for toner replacements in varying colors.

What now to do with the old printer. 

I saw a film on television the other night where a woman turned her printer into a flower pot.

I don’t have the space for that.

I can’t strap it to a rolling thing, get it downstairs and dump it by the dumpster, where items so left sometimes disappear rather quickly, sometimes do not and consequently piss off management, because management has recently put up cameras to catch those of us involved in “illegal dumping”.

So I guess I’ll have to hang onto it until the next “electronic recycling” event hits the area.

That still leaves me with $120 worth of toner in varying colors.

If management would allow the public to attend our rummage sales, I’m sure someone would snap them up and I could recoup some of the cost. But management says it’s a liability issue to allow the public in, so I don’t know, Salvation Army maybe?

Old People Fight

Yesterday’s Memorial Day Potluck was a cluster%&$#.

Scheduled from 2:00 to 4:00, I was back in my unit by 2:20.

When I arrived at 1:50, there was mass confusion as to who was going to do the grilling – chicken and hot dogs. 

Mass confusion, no one grilling, the event due to start in 10 minutes, and Activity Director nowhere in sight.

Assistant Maintenance Guy (AMG) was the only staffer around, and he was in the kitchen cleaning the grill.

Mass confusion, the grill being cleaned 10 minutes prior to start of the event.

“Where’s Activity Director?”, asked I.

“She’s in Community Manager’s Office chatting”, someone replied.

With no one in charge, Apache took over, rounded up Shadow and asked him to do the grilling because, among all the other things Shadow brags about being an expert in grilling; but Shadow just mumbled something undecipherable under his breath and walked away without indicating yes or no.

“You have to ask J______ (The Seer) to tell him to do it,” said I. “He only does what she tells him to do”.

Sure enough, Apache asked The Seer to ask Shadow to grill. She did so and Shadow immediately headed for the grill.

That man is strange.

However, looking at the grill, Shadow mumbled there was something that needed cleaning, other than whatever it was AMG was cleaning in the kitchen and Shadow walked away from having anything to do with the whole thing.

Community Manager and Activity Director finally showed up and assigned AMG to the grill around 2:15.

Since chicken was on the menu, I started to stick around for that. However, upon entering the room, Community Manager had turned on the A/C and the room began to freeze.

I did say to her, “The room was fine before you turned on the A/C, but now it’s freezing”. She turned it down a little, but not near enough. I wasn’t comfortable, didn’t want to get sick, so I went back to my unit.

As I was preparing to leave however, The Seer asked me, “Can we turn on the TV?”

“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask the woman that owns the room”.

The woman that owns the room is a resident who practically lives in the Community Room. She comes in daily, sits all day at the same table, in the same chair in the corner, where she works on her adult coloring books with the television set to a country music station – and no one dare to ever sit in her spot, turn off her music and she knows and says something about it when she finds the chairs at her table switched around. There’s usually some snack on the counter or donation or potluck, so she helps herself and rarely has to take a food break.

I love country music, and with so many voices in the room you can’t hear or focus on a television program anyway so, though many mumble under their breath about her taking over the room, I don’t care.

So anyway, The Seer’s response to my saying she should check with the woman that owns the room before turning off the music and tuning to a channel was, “I’ve already gotten into it once today, so I’d better not”.

Asked whom she’d gotten into it with ........ it was Church Lady. The one with the fabulous wardrobe, who constantly presents herself as being so Christian, so holy, while at the same time of talking all that Christian talk is not walking the walk.

I’m not clear as to what started it, but The Seer called Church Lady out, and among a litany of things she said she called Church Lady out on was that of being a “back-stabbing two-faced hypocrite”. Shadow, seeing a kerfuffle between the two, came to the aid of his lady love and said to Church Lady, “You know what you need? You need Jesus”.

THAT, I’m told, sent Church Lady into hyperspace. She began jumping around, hyperventilating, then ran to the office to tell Community Manager how insulted she was, that the Community Room was filled with demons, and that she’d never set foot in the Room ever again.

Poor thing. It’s going to come as a great surprise to her that no one cares if she comes back or not.

At any rate, the salad must have been delish, because I’d prepared two packages and the container was returned to me completely empty.

When I’d walked into the room with my contribution, Loosey Goosey ran over all excited, asking if it was deviled eggs.

Lol.

I’d thought about it, actually would have liked to try the red white and blue eggs I saw on Pinterest, but no. Too much work to go through for an Activity Director event. If the seniors put their own event together for 4th of July, maybe I’ll do eggs.

On tap for today is heading out to look at inkless printers. I’m hoping to find something lightweight, easy setup, to replace my old HP which has been costing me a fortune in ink for years and is now giving me nothing but poor-quality prints.

Irony

After surviving the weekend’s 5K with no side effects – the usual stiffness and soreness, probably because the course was flat, no hills to climb, I arrive back at the complex and pull my back out carrying luggage up the stairs.

Ironic, isn’t it?

Fortunately, Shadow came along and helped me with the last of the luggage before the damage was more than a soak in Epsom salt and a deep heat patch could handle.

I found it also ironic that, after spending time with my twin daughters and granddaughter this past weekend, the takeaway being my family has no idea who I am and that formerly estranged daughter is never going to see me as anything other than cold, standoffish, unfeeling, uncaring, I get a message via Facebook from a woman I use to work with saying, “Hey....!! I'm so glad I still get to see your amazing life. I want to be you when I retire. XXOO”.

Coming from someone I myself admire that was a HUGE compliment, and I took it as a sign from the Universe that not being understood by family doesn’t mean everyone is as spiritually blind as they.

It’s cool. I can handle being misunderstood, especially since, at different stages of life, I had others observe how I live my life, handled myself in difficult situations and heard them say, “I want to be just like you when I grow up”.

Besides, the Universe prepared me for things to be as they are now with a recurring dream I had many moons ago.

The dream had me walking with family. What’s weird about it is, even though the recurring dream was more years ago than I can recall, everyone looks as they now do. But, as I said, we were all walking in a maze of city streets, turning corners. Eventually, they began to lag behind. I'd periodically look back to make sure they were in sight but, at one point, a decision was made to keep moving. So, Instead of stopping to wait for them to catch up, I kept walking, turning corners until I looked back and they were so far behind that I could no longer see them. I'd lost them completely.

I took that to mean that, on this journey through life, a time would come I’d find myself walking alone, sans family.

And so it now is.

So there’s that.

Waking up feeling disoriented this morning, it took me a second to realize I was in my own bed, not at the hotel.

Settling in on the couch to watch Good Morning America as I drank coffee, who should pop up but that grandstanding inappropriate preacher from the Royal Wedding – Bishop Curry.

Channel switch.

I’ll be glad when this guy is finished with his 15-minutes of fame and I can stop fast-forwarding through the wedding I'd recorded and want to re-watch and switching channels when he pops up on TV.

It’s another potluck day here at the complex. This one is for Memorial Day and Activity Director’s usual menu of hot dogs will be appropriate for the occasion.

I’d initially signed up for ice cream yet again, but that was when we’d expected the weather to be hot as Hades and the event to be outside in the patio area. Instead, it rained yesterday and today is cold and drizzly, so it’s more likely to be inside in the Community Room.

Since I don’t eat at these events, I asked myself "Why bother going at all", but when making a run to Costco this morning to pick up prints of the Great Donut Run to put in the scrapbook, I remembered that Asian Slaw Salad I used to be so fond of and picked up a package.  Because the salad has so many ingredients that I've learned are toxic to my well-being -- soy sauce, soybean oil, wheat, soybeans, sugar, cornstarch, wheat flour, wheat gluten, corn syrup, it'll be contenting myself with coffee and raw veggies.

That Preacher Tho

Home sweet home.

Leaving the complex for anything other than grab a water bottle, run a few local errands, hunt for Pokémon, is soooooo much trouble. Preparations taken to get to the Great Donut Run were no exception.

Not a road sign one sees every day. In fact, this is my first time having to keep an eye out for deer.

I made it to the hotel, no deer in sight – which residence type inn, except for no Starbucks and no daily maid service, turned out great.

The Great Donut Run was all flat land and the weather was a cool 62, conditions perfect for a successful race.

Successful it was, I finished feeling still energetic and strong in 1 hour 5 minutes.

This while simultaneously hunting Pokémon and stopping for photos.

Team Cops Love Donuts

Winner of Costume Contest

Homer Simpson Costume

Female Side of Family

So the Great Donut Run is off my bucket list.

Will I do it again?

Probably.

Will I do it again with family?

Probably not. We don’t seem to enjoy the same interests.

As for the Royal Wedding, I needn’t have worried about setting the DVR because there was so much coverage that I got to view the event multiple times during my stay. The wedding was magical, the dress fabulous and even though Harry, to my dismay and Margaret's approval, did not shave off the beard, I was all caught up in the magic. That is until that long-winded show-boating episcopal preacher from L.A. showed up and snapped me out of it.

It took flipping channels, until I saw he was done grandstanding and it was the choir bringing the magic back, for me to get back into the fantasy.

So 5K done, Royal Wedding done, it on to Memorial Day and what else ...... another potluck here at the complex.

One Before the Road

Time for one last post before I hit the road so, continuing with what I forget to mention came out of yesterday’s Residents/Management meeting .... It’s a Girl.

Head Maintenance Guy (HMG) and his wife are having a little girl to go along with his two boys.

No mention was made of the young lady, also expecting a baby while living here as caretaker to her grandmother, but residents are already talking about a baby shower for HMG.

So there’s that.

Watching Good Morning America’s coverage of the Royal Wedding, as I had my coffee, I caught a segment that mentioned Megan and Harry met on a blind date.

Flashback to the two times I myself went on blind dates -- one I agreed to, the other I was forced into.

The one I was forced into was when my mother and stepfather arranged for me to go on a blind date with a young coworker of stepfather.

I was only 15, no way interested in boys and dating, but mom – being the odd individual she was, seemed on a mission to destroy my life in multiple ways, other than traumatizing me when my dog was taken from me and she said she’d sent Skippy to the meat market to be ground into hamburger meat, had been pushing me to get interested in boys way sooner than I was ready. Mom even tried to turn my best friend against me by telling her she thought I was destined to be a lesbian.

I wish mom was alive today so I could ask her, “What the hell was wrong with you!?”

At any rate, that date with stepdad's coworker was a movie and dinner.

Uncomfortable being alone in a car with a boy, I made it through the movie because, when he spoke to me, I was confused as to whether he was talking to me or someone over my shoulder, behind me, because he was cross-eyed. His head was towards me, but his eyes appeared to be looking elsewhere.

Being only 15, I’d never heard of or seen eyes like that before and it confused and scared me to where I asked to be taken home after the movie, rather than dinner.

Second and very last blind date was when a neighbor, some 15/20 years ago, hearing me always blasting country music, asked, “Do you date out of your race?” saying she had a friend who was also into country/western but only dated Black women.

Sounded interesting so I, of course, asked for his credentials.

He was a long-time employee of a utility company and she said he was a big guy, tall, kinda looked like country music star Trace Adkins.

I don't think I asked the other usual questions, because she had me at “looks kinda likes Trace”. I agreed and we met up at, where else ... Starbucks.

He was a good conversationalist, had a nice deep voice, was tall, did look like Trace, everything seemed what I like EXCEPT where his mouth should have been was a bird-like beak opening.

I’m sorry if I sound shallow, but the facial deformity was a deal breaker. Everything else about him was so right that I tried, we went to lunch, talked for a bit on the phone, but the mouth thing was more than I could handle. I called it off and was done with sight unseen blind dates.

Road Trip

News from this afternoon’s Residents/Management meeting is ...  we passed the re-inspection with flying colors.

If you will recall, we had that inspection in March where our score was so high that the government suspected shenanigans and sent in a different regulator to re-inspect the complex on May 1.

No shenanigans having been found, the regulator verified the high score and life goes on as usual. The only benefit to passing, as far as I am privy to, is that the government won’t check on us for another three years, instead of every year.

When Community Manager walked into the room looking glum, I commented on her not looking happy and was expecting bad news. She said she just didn’t feel well, but that there was some bad news coming and, to counteract that, she was going to raffle off a free carpet cleaning.

The bad news is, because folks are using their garages for storage, rather than cars, Corporate wanted to raise the price of a garage from $15 per month to the going rate for garages in this area ... $200.

Residents in attendance were outraged.

Community Manager says she pled the case that residents are on fixed-incomes and got it reduced to $75 a month.

Residents are still outraged, but have the option to pay up or give up the garage.

Glad I opted for a carport, which remains a flat $15 a month, plus I won the free carpet cleaning.

I, who have a history of never winning anything, have been winning --  at bingo, that bag of goodies at the Mother’s Day raffle, and now this.

I am on a roll.

I am also packing my bags, DVR is already set to record the Royal Wedding, and tomorrow I head out for the Great Donut Run.

If I survive this adventure, I may register for December’s Santa Claus Run, in San Diego, where participants dress in Santa suits.

It all depends on 1) Whether I can find a hotel in San Diego, near the race site, that has facility for me to cook my own food and 2) Whether there are no hills on the course, because I am aged out of walking up hills and mountains.

You’ll have to wait until I return to find out how this adventure goes, because I won’t be taking a laptop.

I thought I’d pretty well hidden my electronics, including the laptop, mixed in and under clothes and in my boots, when I spent Thanksgiving week in that hotel in Long Beach, only to realize later, the selfie stick didn’t make it back home with me.

I’m sure it wasn’t any of the lady maids who cleaned my room but one day, as I was leaving, I saw a youngish guy making the rounds. I got a bad vibe from him, but didn’t think much about it until, lo and behold, I returned home and discover no selfie stick.

I guess he figured the laptop would be too obvious.

At any rate, no laptop this time and, when I leave the room, I’ll be taking other electronics – selfie stick, chargers, with me.

A long-time friend is having a Royal Wedding Party, entitled “Tiaras and PJs” in the Hollywood Hills. If Harry and Megan hadn’t planned their nuptials for the day I have to pick up race packages, I’d probably have spent the night at friend’s place, getting up early to watch the wedding.

I hope Harry shaves that awful beard off his face – not that I have anything against beards. When done right, a beard can be quite sexy and though Megan probably doesn't have a problem with it, I think Harry looks better clean shaven.

I also hope the world is paying attention and taking note of the fact it’s not Megan’s so-called “Straight Outta Compton” relatives -- her mother’s side behaving badly, creating drama. That is her father’s side of the family.

Just sayin’.

Are You Kidding Me?

Walking into today’s Belated Mother’s Day Potluck, I spied Apache in attendance.

“Do you stink?” asked I.

He caught my drift immediately. That drift being “Are you wearing the Success by Trump cologne”.

“No”, says he. “In fact, I’m never opening the bottle”.

LOL. He’s so enthralled with the Idiot in Chief that he’s saving and treasuring the cologne, adding it to his memorabilia collection.

Later in the event, Apache – a guiding member of the Residents Volunteer Activity Committee (RVAC) had the unmitigated gall to say how hurt he was that no one showed up for this past Saturday’s exercise session (the 12th).

“Are you kidding me” says I. “This after none of you committee members showed up for the previous Saturday’s session" (the 5th).

“Well, I couldn’t come. My back was hurting. I was in pain. I couldn't get out of bed”.

Inside my head, I went “Oh boo hoo”, but what came out of my mouth was, “And how were we supposed to know that your back hurt and there wouldn’t be a session?”

“V____ said she’d let everyone know”.

“She didn’t let ANYONE know. She didn’t come in to tell us the session was cancelled. There was no note on the bulletin board. You guys wasted my time, the time of the other ladies that showed up, so of course none of us showed up this past Saturday. Turnabout is fair play and because I can’t depend on whether there’s a session or not, I won’t be coming back.”

I made it sound like I was all indignant and it’s the RVAC’s fault that I’m out but, in truth, they did me an enormous favor because I wanted out and they gave me a really good reason to drop out with clean hands.

Though Activity Director’s late Mother’s Day event turned out well, it was confusing because she’d previously told us it was to be hot dogs.

Hot dogs for Mother’s Day, thought I. How cheap and tacky.

Someone must have talked some sense in her because I later saw she’d posted the event as “Bring your favorite dessert ... and There will be raffle prizes for Mothers who join us”.

Much more appropriate than hot dogs and, with the promise of raffle prizes, residents responded with sweet treats.

Even Greedy Grabby, who never brings anything, brought something – the chocolate cake, top row middle. But that may be because earlier, when she’d asked me if it was hot dogs or sweets today, I’d said, “I don’t know, but what are you bringing?”

She’d replied “Nothing" but evidently picking up what I was thinking about her, she added "But there’s a cake I like”. So maybe she sacrificed the cake she already had and was planning to enjoy, or maybe she made a quick trip to the market”.

At any rate, I’ve been clean eating for so long that none of the sweets tempted me but the raffle bags looked yummy.

Luckily, I had a winning ticket and chose the pretty light pink bag.

It was filled with useful goodies.

The cup and thermos were not included. Coffee is what I bring to snack on at these events while others are pigging out, and it helps that the coffee is packaged in my cute Wonder Woman set.

Happy Mother’s Day

Busy with scrapbooking, needlepoint, catching up on a mountain of recorded television programs, the weather too drab and dreary for being out and about hunting Pokémon, and myself not able to accept an invitation to dine out for Mother’s Day -- because of gut issues that come with outside food, I opted to celebrate the day by doing laundry, housekeeping, more crafting, more clearing out recorded programs to make room for the BBC’s Royal Wedding coverage, because I’ll be out of town next weekend, participating in the Great Donut Run, and want to record the wedding for later viewing.

I love the pomp and ceremony of a royal wedding, and this is my third time getting caught up in the fairy tale fantasy of it all.

I’m only counting Diana’s to Charles (I thought her dress was horrendous), William’s to Kate, and now Megan to Harry, because I don’t remember being interested in or viewing Fergie’s.

I’m a bit surprised at all the coverage touting Megan as being the first to bring Black blood into the royals. Color was introduced long ago by bi-racial Queen Sophia Charlotte, the mother of Queen Victoria’s father.

Even more surprising than Queen Charlotte being overlooked is the fact no one has made mention that Megan is marrying a ginger, which I find far more interesting than her ethnic background.

Prince Harry has natural red hair and there are myths I won’t go into about gingers, just in case you who are reading this is a ginger, and might take issue. Let’s just leave it at Megan Markle being a brave girl.

On tap this week is Pizza Tuesday, and a second chance to celebrate Mother’s Day as Activity Director scheduled the Mother’s Day Potluck for that same afternoon – after Mother’s Day, instead of last week – before.

I usually make deviled eggs for Mother’s Day. In fact, I’ve been known as “The Deviled Egg Lady”. But that’s way too much trouble to go through for the ingrates who don’t contribute and who complain, like they did last time and the time before that ... “The ice cream cups are too small, so give me two cups” ... “I want extra scoops” ... “I want an additional serving to take to my husband”.

At any rate, ice cream is an easy out, so that’s what I’ll be bringing to every event from now on.

Also on tap this week, is this month’s Residents/Management meeting where, hopefully, we’ll be filled in on results of the re-inspection.

The Party’s Over

First, we had excessive heat warnings.

Then, we had an earthquake followed by several more days of excessive heat, including yesterday’s warning.

I wake up this morning to rain.

It’s so bizarre, but I’m grateful for the cooler weather -- so I could open the patio sliding glass doors, let in fresh air, rather than run the A/C all day.

I had to pretty much immediately close myself up again when a sound nearing my area became so loud that it overrode volume on the television.

It was the landscaper's motorized lawnmower.

This too I found bizarre, inasmuch as it was raining. But I guess a schedule is a schedule.

I was spared the buzz saws and blowers because by the time they arrived beneath my patio, I was in the Community Room attending Apache’s 62nd birthday party and, thankfully, it was a complete success.

Shadow actually did make a cake.

I applaud him for baking, but I guess he’s not good at spelling because, in trying to shorten Happy Birthday to Happy Birth in liquorish (which I thought was a cute idea), he transposed the i and R.

Of course, I couldn’t eat any but, truth be known, even when I could eat whatever I liked, I didn’t eat just anybody’s food and Shadow is one I would not have trusted his hygiene enough to eat a slice.

No one commented on how it tasted and, as far as I know, no one died, so I guess the cake was okay.

The ratio of attendees who contributed with a dish was, as usual, disproportionate to the number of attendees who came to eat, but we managed.

The little lady that tried to collect money for deli fried chicken, with folks not wanting to contribute, ended up frying chicken her own darn self.

Two different residents brought big pots of pasta, someone contributed shoestring potatoes, The Baker made a delicious looking macaroni salad, another resident made a salsa/chips tray and there were two different kinds of popcorn.

I don’t know who made popcorn, don’t know why, but this afternoon is movie night, so the popcorn will be consumed.

The ice cream was a welcome addition, and though I sprung for the ginormous party pack, thinking there’d be plenty left over for movie night, the bucket was down to ¼ remaining in no time.

Of course, Apache got a kick out of my Success by Trump Eau de Cologne gift.

He declared to attendees that “I’ll be smelling like Trump”, to which I replied, “That means you’ll stink”.

All in all, Apache was a happy camper, especially when he looked at the back of one card and found so many ladies had left a lipstick print.

Even Shadow was impressed, uttering a “Wowwwww” because he only had one on his card.

Yet again, The Seer was not amused. She says “It’s stupid” that women do that.

Whatever.

At any rate, the party was a success, and is over and done with -- thanks be to the Universe.