Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Unfriended

Along about 11:30 yesterday, I watched the seniors head off to the casino.

When asked why I wasn't going, my response was 1) “I’m not a lucky gambler” and 2) “It’s was a choice of going to the casino once-a-month or Starbucks every day. Starbucks won.”



The bus has a nice new logo and was loaded with the regulars plus five new tenants, four of which seem to know each other, run in a pack, and emit a hard rough unfriendly aura.

I’d previously seen one of them around the complex. I waved, like I always do whether I know the resident or not. She did NOT wave back. And the other morning, when I was out walking, I saw the same woman. Her aura was still hard rough unfriendly, so I didn’t bother to wave. She in turn pretended like she didn’t see me, though we were less than 10 feet apart.

Not that it’s important that I get a warm response should I greet any from the pack. It’s just that I’m friendly and it’s always a surprise when others are not.

Other than Nurse Ratched, who doesn’t like anyone, or the Muslim Lady who recently moved out, the only other resident I’ve found to NOT be friendly is last month’s new resident – the woman who is an author of Christian literature.

When we’d both be in the Community Room at the same time, I noticed how she would not look at me when I spoke. She’d sit sideways so she didn’t HAVE to look at me and seemed to freeze up in my presence, like she was uncomfortable with me being a part of her conversations. Once she even left, saying she’d be back later to continue her conversation with The Seer shortly after I walked in.

Though I found it a bit shabby that a writer of Christian literature was talking the talk, but not walking the walk, I didn’t take it personally. I read her as subconsciously determined not to like me because of her own personal challenge of jealousy and insecurity. 

At any rate, not taking her response to my being alive personally, I took her on as MY challenge.

I made a point to include her in MY conversations … asking how she was getting on, whether she was all moved in yet, if she was attending this event, that event, what she would be bringing, etc. She was polite, in that she’d give me tight-lipped answers, but without looking at me.

LOL.

Finally, just last week, my efforts paid off.

I’d said something funny to the group gathered in the Community Room, which I can’t even remember what the topic was. She laughed, began looking directly at me, talking directly to me, including me in her conversation.

I can tell she’s not my kind of person, so we won’t be close like I am with others, but at least her walls are down and we can be on friendly terms.

Hurdle crossed.

I did not put as much effort into the Muslim Lady. She was so dark hard rough, same as the women of this new pack appear to be, that it would have taken a bulldozer to break through. So I took the position of her not existing. I’d see her, but not see her.

Of course, months and months and months after I’d written her off, she made overtures like she wanted to be friendly, but it was too late. I wasn’t interested.

After she moved, I learned she could not get along with ANYONE. Had a dispute not only with the office (not unusual, everyone does), but also with each and every one of her immediate neighbors. Nurse Ratched had even called the cops to have her removed from the area of the offices and had her banned from entering the Community Room. So, it seems I was correct in writing her off as unfriendable.

If any of this new pack show up for the Halloween Pizza Party on the 20th, will be interesting to observe how they interact with others. Perhaps being on the casino bus with the other ladies will lighten them up a bit, let them know we’re all safe, friendly, and erase some of those hard rough edges.

Fifteen residents have signed up to date for the Pizza Party. Nowhere near representative of how many residents we have in the complex, but enough to make me want to attend after all.

Lastly, I’d blogged early September that daughter was very angry with me over something I’d said intended to be supportive and helpful. She, of course, took it as criticism and went full on Drama Queen … unfriended me on Facebook and ceased communication.

I’d gone on to say in that post, having learned a lot about human nature in my ongoing quest for spiritual development, I’d applied the principle of “I am never upset for the reason I think” to the situation. That daughter’s upset with ME was pent up frustration with current trials and tribulations … Misplaced anger.

At any rate, prepared for daughter to hate me forever, color me surprised when she called yesterday … “Ma, I’m in the area. Would you like to go out for lunch.”

We ended up at my favorite Mexican place, where I went totally off the clean eating plan with a taquito plate. I enjoyed every bite saying to daughter, “This one meal off plan isn’t gonna kill me.”

Boy was I wrong.

It’s 1:26 am and here I am blogging, unable to sleep, due to an upset stomach.

2 comments:

  1. I've found that I can not eat just any old thing now that I've been eating mostly vegetarian. Went to a b'day party on Saturday and the food was not at all what I would normally eat, but to be polite I took bits and pieces and ate as much of it as possible. Icky sick overnight. Wish I could get the whole world to eat like I do!

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    1. I hear you and wish some of the folks I see suffering the ailments I suffered before I began eating clean would also wake up and stop poisoning themselves. I must admit however, yesterday's poisoning was very tasty but after not being able to get to sleep until 3 AM, up at 7 still sick as a dog, never again.

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